A love poem

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by CitizenKane, Jun 5, 2003.

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  1. CitizenKane

    CitizenKane The Enterprise

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    My first love poem, here goes...

    Is this love or is this lust?
    persevere like love or disappear like dust?
    What is it my heart feels when my heart beats?
    What is is my heart needs when my heart seeks?
    What if I don't find peace when my heart sleeps
    Will I forever be lost in this dark creek?
    And drown into sorrow
    who wants tomorrow when today is pain
    Is it her touch that makes my skinwake
    or is it her fragrance fresh like springbreak?
    Is it the way she says those words?
    My eyes are charmed by the way she walks
    gracefully just like the way she talks
    test
  2. unspoken1

    unspoken1 Revolutionary Wordsmen

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    well i normally dont feel rhyming pieces all much and this pretty much is no exception but it was decent for what it was....decent drop
    test
  3. CitizenKane

    CitizenKane The Enterprise

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    Thanks for checking it out...
    test
  4. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

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    Reminded me of a poetic open mic joint. I'm not fond of the rhyme schemes in Poetry that rhymes with every word after that, but this one was somewhat an exception. I found it appealing and the title was straight to the point, as you defined love as what your heart knew it was or felt it was, for that matter. My blessings..
    test
  5. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    not a bad piece

    felt like it could have a lot more to it though

    work on it a bit and i think it could be a good drop

    up for ya
    test
  6. *GeMiNeYeZ*

    *GeMiNeYeZ* ~§¤Sweet Shinobi¤§~

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    not bad at all... short and sweet and delivers your message. great job!
    test
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