A Letter Of Ignorance To Rpentance "FORGIVENESS"

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by 6ftground, Mar 9, 2004.

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  1. 6ftground

    6ftground BLACKACE/GRIMREADER

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2003
    Messages:
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    While walking down dreams road, I never awoke
    To an image similar to myself,
    At first I was shocked to see such a hansom being
    Me being the man of the hour, lights
    Blink while I shower, the hour seems like a
    Eternity when your in the mirror, did I forget to mention
    The unmade bed and the roach infested room,
    Oh! Yea I was too busy into the groom, to clean my room
    I said to myself when I grow up, now 29
    I want to be something important at 29.
    I don’t know why jobs keep letting me go,
    I’m grade A the streets let me know, that everyday
    The bum on the corner said to me
    “ You don’t need a job, just look at me.”
    He did look as if he was filled with glee,
    Or maybe it was the JD he had offer to me.
    I wonder through the street in baggy jeans and a due rag
    Fitted cap and this white stuff crumbed in a brown bag
    Your smart! The little fairY whispered in my ear, she said,
    Your clever disguise, working in the morning, slangin at night,
    It really keeps you looking tight,
    I grinned a little, if she only knew!
    I’m going to make a million and bow out the game
    I will be crowned with street fame, I don’t know sometimes
    I go astray and my mind wonders, like from this dirty room
    This small four-corner room with a mirror I sometimes get lost in
    Got to keep myself clean looking good for those conjugal visits.
    What about my room for the doomed, the horror!, Roaches and dirt bags for
    Roommates, I’d rather have had that dirt bag who offered a sip
    From
    His brown bag
    While walking down dreams road I was busted with my brown bag
    With my paints at a sag, I’m feeling sad, no longer free.
    So while I was asleep my dirt bag room mate, after 2yrs
    Remembered me from the streets, he murdered me in my sleep
    While I was walking down dreams road, I was caught up in vanity
    And greed, I started slipping and not following the rules of the streets,
    Working was a positive, dealing was a negative,
    While I was walking down dreams road my sins caught up with me
    Now I’m forever in purgatory, murdered in my sleep by a being
    Sleazier than me.I heard a voice say to me.
    "Your not doomed my son, you’re in judgment,"
    All the while you where watching me commit
    Ill judgments,
    no questions ask
    just this letter of forgiveness

    Lord please forgive me
    Your soul

    Crucifix​
    test
  2. allnakey

    allnakey Sex is no fun by yourself

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2003
    Messages:
    2,940
    I got into the whole story it was pretty cool. liked the whole mentioning of the bum and just the street surrounding, nice imagery. This told straight like a story and was pretty easy to follow. I like how at the end you realized your sin, but it was to late you were already dead. This was a nice piece.


    Stay up, Much Love, Peace
    test
  3. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2001
    Messages:
    17,331
    I really enjoyed this piece. I can really relate to it. I was there myself. Nice imagery you displayed also.

    one luv
    test
  4. iLL Script.

    iLL Script. ~Poetic~

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2002
    Messages:
    15,884
    "Your not doomed my son, you’re in judgment,"
    All the while you where watching me commit
    Ill judgments,
    no questions ask
    just this letter of forgiveness


    forgiveness is a powerful thing but it is never 2 late 2 ask 4. i liked it, nice ending. smooth read. very nice job
    stay up
    test
  5. ChyllTyrant

    ChyllTyrant AmIEternalOrAnEternalist?

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2003
    Messages:
    795
    this was actually pretty nice.
    i really related to a lot of what u were saying

    keep dropping, stay up

    PEACE
    test
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