A hypothetical for all you wannabe politicians out there (that means you)

Discussion in 'The Alley' started by AliceHouse, Sep 21, 2013.

  1. AliceHouse

    AliceHouse The House Always Wins

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    Once upon a time in your perfect world set up the way you think the world and governments and all that jazz should be ran...

    So there is this guy, right? A white guy, so you can all identify with him and feel sympathy for him because anything other than white or guy would not be considered human.

    And this white guy, he has a talent. A talent for making a product. What's the product? Doesn't matter. Wait, you want to know? Fine, he makes um... he makes coffins. Right? And where he lives, there is always a demand for coffins because after all, people die. So he makes a pretty penny.

    Now, there are these other guys out there, let's make them Asians because any other group cast in this role would be considered "racist." A bunch of them think to themselves, they don't want to work. They aint cut out for it anyway. But they want pretty pennies also. So they go to this guy and they say, "Give us some of your pretty pennies."

    Obviously the guy will say no and that's the end of that chapter.

    But the next day they come along and say to this guy, they say, "Give us some of your pretty pennies so we can protect you from anything bad that happens."

    Now, all of us from the hood know this tactic as a protection racket. But some of you politicians might call this "extortion." See, because if he doesn't give them some of his pretty pennies, these Asian fellas are going to mess up his place of business.

    So... my question to you is, in your perfect world arranged just the way you think everything should work, what should this white guy do?
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  2. Dex Luis

    Dex Luis Dextilla The Hunk

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    I tuned out out when I saw the r-word.
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  3. Dex Luis

    Dex Luis Dextilla The Hunk

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    Curiosity got the better of me.

    In my free-market arrangement, the barriers to employment and starting a business would be largely removed so these sort of antisocial elements would be few in number and easily dealt with.

    I see a privatized police force with a monopoly in each community. As a requisite of living in the community, each member would have to pay in and act as shareholders, eliminating the free-rider problem.

    Ideally, my society would be armed. If the police force aren't on their shit, they can be voted out of their monopolistic position by the shareholders (the citizenry) with the threat of force if necessary - minimizing the possibility of police corruption.

    And again, my society would be well-armed, so these wandering sociopaths wouldn't thrive for very long before they end up with a fucking bullet in the head from a good ole disgruntled lynch mob.
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  4. Sir Bustalot

    Sir Bustalot I am Jesus

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    i dont understand why they have to be asian, couldnt you pose the same q with them being white?

    he should kill them motherfuckers, im not saying its right, but i think he should kill them. Even if he goes to jail for life, or even dies in the process, he should make his life mission to kill each one of these fuckers

    that will teach them fuckers to mess with that guy

    i didnt relate to him though
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  5. AliceHouse

    AliceHouse The House Always Wins

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    Interesting so far. Not sure if Dex-Mex understands the concept of a "privatized police force." It's cute, but sad at the lack of logical connections.

    But Sir Busta... I did not expect or see coming from you Irish-justice. That took me for a loop.
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  6. Sir Bustalot

    Sir Bustalot I am Jesus

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    Its how it would go down in the movies
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  7. Dex Luis

    Dex Luis Dextilla The Hunk

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    I figured somebody would pounce on this. It does sound contradictory until fleshed out - which I don't feel like doing at the moment.

    A private police force would have to be subsidized to some extent to keep them from doing shady shit like staging crimes during times when crime is down.
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2013
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  8. Dex Luis

    Dex Luis Dextilla The Hunk

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    Holy fuck.

    Thinking over this thread gave me a sudden burst of insight. I think i've foolproofed my system.

    Thanks, I guess.
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2013
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  9. AliceHouse

    AliceHouse The House Always Wins

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    I don't think you understand what a "privatized police force" actually means. But it's cute you think people buying mercenaries as a form of law enforcement is somehow a good idea. My mercenaries I'll be pumping full of chems and arming them with explosive ordinance, and then we will proceed to extort everybody.
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  10. M-theory

    M-theory Saint Esprit

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    Are you arguing semantics or do you actually have a point? Where does privatized law enforcement entail "buying mercenaries"?
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  11. Dex Luis

    Dex Luis Dextilla The Hunk

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    She's a moron.

    I gave her too much credit by contributing.
    • +Rep +Rep x 1
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  12. AliceHouse

    AliceHouse The House Always Wins

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    No, I'm not arguing semantics. I'm demonstrating the absurdity of the idea utilizing semantics. Not all mercenaries are private police, but all private police are mercenaries. It's silly to think that justice is a matter to be ordained by the highest bidder, or that contractual obligations have any bearing on those who enforce the laws. In the example I gave in the original post, the thugs who are extorting the store owner would invariably be the private police force described in Hex-Dex's scenario.

    That's why it's cute. He's blinded by his emotional unmet needs of idealism, he can't see the cold hard logical reality of the situation.

    See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baldwin–Felts_Detective_Agency

    And: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Blair_Mountain
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  13. Sir Bustalot

    Sir Bustalot I am Jesus

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    so basically i won


    *does arm pump
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  14. AliceHouse

    AliceHouse The House Always Wins

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  15. Sir Bustalot

    Sir Bustalot I am Jesus

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    stick with me and youll do alright kid

    /humphrey bogart voice
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  16. Nu'maaN

    Nu'maaN Anu'naki, Nuqqa.

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    meh, don't know why i'm mentioned in this thread.

    if i was the white man, "fuck around again, and i'll put you and your pennies in my latest designed coffin".

    that's all i'd say, then hook up with the italians and start a double decker coffin burial system for the mafia.

    :numaan:
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  17. Nu'maaN

    Nu'maaN Anu'naki, Nuqqa.

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    but realistically speaking, i had a similar question posed to me when musharaf allowed american bases to be setup.

    so there's a playground, and there's a big bad bully who bullies the shit out of children. this bully comes up to you and goes "if you let me bully people from your area of the playground, i will not bully you and yours". if that bully asked you to do that, what would you do in that situation?

    the analogy is obvious, so i'm not going to go into that for you, knowledge.

    :numaan:
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  18. lyricalpriest

    lyricalpriest Rap Games Dawson Creek

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    i would tell them to clean the store and do the landscape and i would give them money.. if they said that they didnt need a job i would ask them why did they offer to protect my business? i would convince them that by their presence it would defer potential criminals and also protect the company by making it look nice and spiffy with all the upgrades...
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  19. x calibur

    x calibur

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    law enforcement is necessary to deal with these sorts of violations.

    private gun ownership (with proper screening) also helps. it has been said that an armed society is a polite society.
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  20. AliceHouse

    AliceHouse The House Always Wins

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    Libertarian as fuck.
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