"A Delusion of Love"

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by For the Cause, Nov 30, 2004.

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  1. For the Cause

    For the Cause Liberty needs glasses

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2004
    Messages:
    187
    the beautiful evenings,
    followed by such enchanting nights
    cuddled upon the fireplace
    readin the manuscript of your soul
    but in reality i really lost control,
    when i moved on to her soul to soon
    for me feelings,of warmth,were reaching full bloom
    enchanting summer nights,
    awakened by the sunrise,
    and connected with her eyes,
    that glistened the the stars in the infinite skies

    everytime i was around her,
    my heartbeat sped up so intense
    she was the perfect catalyst
    to happiness
    i cant imagine what i wouldnt sacrifice
    just for our love to remain eternal
    but she began staying past the early morning
    before the break of dawn
    laying and waiting
    sweat pouring down my cheeks
    wondering if shes alright
    why doesnt she answer her phone?
    thats when i truly realized that i was truly alone.
    and loves exaggerated,
    when you start to give your all,
    and leave no confidence for yourself
    writing insecure letters feeled with admiration and confusion
    love is a cruel delusion,
    thatll shatter your true intentions
    if you dont make sure your love grows together.
    and thats why reflectin the time you spent with her,
    after shes gone,proves out to be pointless.
    test
  2. ~Eloquent

    ~Eloquent Narcissistic....

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2003
    Messages:
    4,076
    wow they are sleepin on you man...

    the beautiful evenings,
    followed by such enchanting nights
    cuddled upon the fireplace
    readin the manuscript of your soul
    but in reality i really lost control,
    when i moved on to her soul to soon
    for me feelings,of warmth,were reaching full bloom
    enchanting summer nights,
    awakened by the sunrise,
    and connected with her eyes,
    that glistened the the stars in the infinite skies

    very nicely worded,
    welcome,to the site
    test
  3. unspoken1

    unspoken1 Revolutionary Wordsmen

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2002
    Messages:
    758
    whoa definitly nicely done....i like the same part eloquent quote also i like this one

    when you start to give your all,
    and leave no confidence for yourself
    writing insecure letters feeled with admiration and confusion
    love is a cruel delusion,
    thatll shatter your true intentions
    if you dont make sure your love grows together.
    and thats why reflectin the time you spent with her,
    after shes gone,proves out to be pointless.

    nicely done man....keep writing
    test
  4. absolute zero

    absolute zero Among the living

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2004
    Messages:
    11,770
    word.....it's ashame to see you get slept on, especially after such a nice piece...


    "love is a cruel delusion,"

    *shudders*

    damn, i hate love....

    God bless
    test
  5. InTheStars

    InTheStars Reflective

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2004
    Messages:
    510
    I thought every piece of this poem was powerful. It showed a great amount of emotion and placed your heart out there on the line. Very Nice Piece.
    Much
    Luv
    stars
    test
  6. RealMS

    RealMS Ne te quaesiveris extra

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2004
    Messages:
    5,023
    This one reminds me of my parents. You believe your plans weren't made by yourself, that both agreed. It's like loving someone and listening to them, but you're the only one who's really talking and listening for that matter. Those yesterdays is all you seem to have, and if you had the choice to go back and relive it, I don't think most would. Memories could be a beautiful thing.
    -Much Love
    test
  7. b3LLig3r3nT

    b3LLig3r3nT b3LLig3r3nT

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2004
    Messages:
    49
    "love is a cruel delusion,
    thatll shatter your true intentions
    if you dont make sure your love grows together."

    hella true... I really liked this poem.. especially the line "readin the manuscript of your soul" .. Good stuff..
    test
  8. For the Cause

    For the Cause Liberty needs glasses

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2004
    Messages:
    187
    no doubt yall
    much love respect
    peace
    test
  9. quotive

    quotive 3

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2004
    Messages:
    13,756
    "the beautiful evenings,
    followed by such enchanting nights
    cuddled upon the fireplace
    readin the manuscript of your soul
    but in reality i really lost control,
    when i moved on to her soul to soon
    for me feelings,of warmth,were reaching full bloom
    enchanting summer nights,
    awakened by the sunrise,
    and connected with her eyes,
    that glistened the the stars in the infinite skies"

    Yooooooooooooo.. duke.. this stanza was so fucking ill..

    I really like the manuelscript to her soul line, shit was dope as hell. I liked the last two lines of this stanza too.. Reminds me of what I've been writing about, using metaphors and similies to describe this girls eyes.. its amazing how you can really get lost in someones eyes.. its different reading about it, and actually experiencing it. Dope stanza.

    "but she began staying past the early morning
    before the break of dawn
    laying and waiting
    sweat pouring down my cheeks
    wondering if shes alright
    why doesnt she answer her phone?
    thats when i truly realized that i was truly alone."

    There are really some ungreatful females out there. They claim that they want to be loved, want a man who cares... but when they get one, they abuse the fuck out of it. They're a confusing species. lol, this part I quoted reminds me of my stupid, bitch ass ex-whore-girlfriend. Dumb whore man..

    Dope drop man.. Look foward to reading more of your work.
    test
  10. POETIC ENIGMA

    POETIC ENIGMA New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2004
    Messages:
    10,155
    the beautiful evenings,
    followed by such enchanting nights
    cuddled upon the fireplace
    readin the manuscript of your soul
    but in reality i really lost control,
    when i moved on to her soul to soon
    for me feelings,of warmth,were reaching full bloom
    enchanting summer nights,
    awakened by the sunrise,
    and connected with her eyes,
    that glistened the the stars in the infinite skies

    thats gotta be my favorite part, hits home a bit. dope poem
    test
  11. For the Cause

    For the Cause Liberty needs glasses

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2004
    Messages:
    187
    no doubt.
    ill read your guys work.
    quotive i feel what u saying,
    some people,just dont mean what they say like some others.
    others keep thier word,not easy to find people like that.
    test
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