"A ChIlD's PrAyEr"

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Den-S, Sep 30, 2003.

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  1. Den-S

    Den-S .:.The Chosen One.:.

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    Dear Jesus,
    Last night I slept with no dinner
    No bread, no water- only a stomach left thinner
    And I am not a sinner
    To walk these streets barefoot
    No shoes, rugged clothing will still not shed my mood
    Sirens plague the ears, gun shots ring
    How can I live for tomorrow if it only brings suffering?
    I have no toys, no friends in which to play
    Two of them have been taken away, three others no longer see days
    Mommy? I never see her
    Always in a rush, always out and about
    And daddy? I hear of him but know little about
    Eyes polluted with the Devil’s red
    Due to the sheer ice of the night, I can hardly go to bed
    Blankets are but a myth, and my clothes are torn
    If not for a forgiving heart, my soul would be worn
    Please tell me Jesus
    What did I do?
    I live life as you pleaseth, what else may I do?
    No love to warm me in times of need
    Why me, to see all the heartache I see?
    Breathe all the thin air I breathe
    I hardly eat, only the crumbs I can gather
    Because money is scarce, my clothes shrink faster
    I try Jesus, I really really do
    But do you know how hard it is to not have a mommy there to feed you?
    I’m assuming you do, or else you’d spare me this hell
    So I trust in you Jesus, because only you know me this well
    And you’ll be happy Jesus- for despite all this, I never shed a tear
    For despite all the empty stomachs and shirtless days, I know you lay near
    So Jesus, would it be too much to ask for one sign?
    To have hope once again
    And know to come to you in times of sin
    In Jesus’ name…
    Amen​
    test
  2. Nu Voice

    Nu Voice the mystery of iniquity

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    I was really feelin the concept, and the piece itself is beautifully done, but if i may...the language could have been done a little differently to give it more of a "child-like" feel. Other than that, i really liked it. ~respect
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  3. ClydeSmiley

    ClydeSmiley educate yourself

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    Thank you for writing this and posting it. I don't know why or what it will amount to, but it motivated me to write. It's like it reminded me of how I used to write. Not saying that I grew out of writing like you, it just reminds me of how my mind used to be when I'd write, and I haven't had that in a long time. This isn't really making sense. I have to write poetry now.
    Thanks again Den.
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  4. Blunted Reality

    Blunted Reality Still Blunted on Reality

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    Very nice...really touched on something that goes on all around us every day...very heartfelt...keep it up.
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  5. xAfterThoughtzx

    xAfterThoughtzx PerfectInThatFuckedUpWay

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    wow..this poem really touched me..its a shame when children have to go through shit like this now a days,it truely is...
    "How can I live for tomorrow if it only brings suffering?" - so true...i really liked this..good job..keep um commin

    *keep elevating*
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  6. Dark_Angel

    Dark_Angel Dark_Angel

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    this was a very touching poem, and i loved every line of it, the imagery was great and just drew me in, thanks for this peice, i dont know why, but i felt reading it gave me something...beautiful peice
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  7. Den-S

    Den-S .:.The Chosen One.:.

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    thanks, appreciate the responses...
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  8. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    love to concept of this piece...seen it done before..but u pulled it off really well..need to write me a joint like this...nice job man
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  9. Xero Satsujin

    Xero Satsujin OnLy gOd kNoWs oR Goes

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    Not one of the Gospel am I, but I love this piece nonetheless...good job...
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  10. MisterEThoughts

    MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth

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    wow what a pretty deep poem here loved it to be honest that inspired me to to write damn beautiful piece something i would definitely write beautiful bro loved how u put it into words nice topic too.
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  11. Den-S

    Den-S .:.The Chosen One.:.

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    thanks...
    test
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