A Bullet's Story

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by Lost Prophet, Jun 4, 2003.

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  1. Lost Prophet

    Lost Prophet 11/04/2000 - 06/19/2009

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    I'm trapped inside a box with 49 others
    All from the same womb, but we're not exactly brothers
    All holding our own, all equally as strong
    It's crowded and hot, and I've been here too long
    Someone out there must have read my mind
    Because the box began to move after a short amount of time
    After being tossed and turned, we settled once again
    Only this time, we weren't in the same place we had been
    The box we called home was opened up carefully
    In a bright flash of light, I saw five fingers reaching fearfully
    The hand chose me, and fourteen of my closest peers
    I saw things I hadn't seen before, increasing my fears
    Watching the hand closely, a container evolved
    Suddenly, ahand appeared, grabbing us all
    We were slowly placed next to each other, in a vertical position
    I was really confused, trying to figure out my life's mission
    After we were laid to rest, me being fourth from the top
    The hand put us in a small machine, and together we popped
    Once in place, we formed one complex piece from several simple parts
    We were placed between fabric, and suddenly, it was dark
    A few hours later, I was awoken by loud talk and rapid movement
    Then I felt us jerk upward, heard a loud noise, and the first two were sent
    All of a sudden, it became hotter than hell
    One more of my friend's left, and I was thrown into a chamber type cell
    Now I'm very confused, as I look up, I see a small hole
    As I look through it, I see smoke, and someone draped in gold
    Suddenly, I feel heat at my feet
    As I leave my place of rest, ejected from my seat
    Free at last, I fly through the air, and I approach a windowpane
    As I go through it, shattered glass begins to rain
    I'm still going strong, I wonder how long I'm supposed to fly
    As I tear through a door, I hear a loud cry
    Suddenly, I'm stopped, and I don't know where I am
    I feel my new home shake, and in it, I get jammed
    Then my new home stops, and becomes perfectly still
    I'm sitting here confused, because I don't know the deal
    My new home is lifted by a larger force
    And then I hear screaming from a motherly voice
    I hear shouts of, "why, why, why"
    Followed by, "baby please wake up, I love you, don't die"
    Then it hits me, I've finally found my purpose
    Taking innocent lives, but tell me, is it worth it?
    test
  2. sagacious infant

    sagacious infant reflecting the sun

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    vivid, vivid imagery...from the box to baby...and it helps that i got a drum n bass song playing as the soundtrack to your story...with the movement of the music..it compliments the quickness of the bullet's journey...

    good stuff


    got me all teary eyed n ish...
    test
  3. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

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    Yeah i read this one before. Imagery was off the hook. Kinda reminds me of that nas song "you gave me power"

    one luv
    test
  4. TuNed RooT

    TuNed RooT Love is introduction ..

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    Imagery was your finest aspect in this piece. I found it very descritive in content and very creative. This piece explained what it may be like to be a bullet within a gun ready to go off at something. I can't get over this idea, I was really feeling it. So, keep it up, and ofcourse the imagery, you need to keep up, mos def. My blessings..
    test
  5. Lost Prophet

    Lost Prophet 11/04/2000 - 06/19/2009

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    thanks everyone
    test
  6. skandelous_lala

    skandelous_lala back from the dead

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    nice imagery...very much like nas's i gave you power like somebody else said....i can respect this...you did a good job.
    test
  7. lpoet

    lpoet POET

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    remember reading this long time ago...dope
    test
  8. Old Soul

    Old Soul Nipple Nibbler

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    I saw this topic in the RSTL before but never wanted to tackle it since it's been done a couple times. You did a great job with it. Very descriptive imagery as said. Structure lacked but I'm not really as familiar with poetry as I am with hip-hop so I don't know how important that is.

    Good job Prophet. Peep my work & tell me what you think.
    test
  9. augee.ali

    augee.ali Lively Up Yourself...

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    You got some talent on you man...I rate this right up there with Trading War Stories...Dope shit.
    test
  10. CitizenKane

    CitizenKane The Enterprise

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    I read this some time ago and its still mad nice, I like the title.
    test
  11. *GeMiNeYeZ*

    *GeMiNeYeZ* ~§¤Sweet Shinobi¤§~

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    11,131
    i like this piece... it makes you think... i likes the rhyme scheme and the flow, really gave it extra points along with the story and the morals. great job again!
    test
  12. mocha_licious

    mocha_licious New Member

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    NICE DROP...I COULD DEF HEAR A BEAT TO THIS........AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT WAS A SLAVERY DROP, BUT NOW I UNDERSTAND WHAT U MEANT AS U WAS WRITIN IT....VERY DOPE....


    ~MUCH LOVE AND KEEP WRITIN~
    test
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