7. macmilimeterrhyms 1-0 V. 8. Dead King 1-0

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by DiC GeTs GuLLy, Nov 30, 2006.

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  1. DiC GeTs GuLLy

    DiC GeTs GuLLy Hello

    Feb 26, 2005



    The Standard League Rules will still be Enforced

    Due Dates

    VERSES DUE: Saturday 12:00am PST/3:00am EST
    Verses posted after the deadline will not count!

    VOTES DUE Monday: 12:00am PACIFIC/3:00 Midnight EST
    Votes posted after the deadline will not count!

    • Check-in (Posting in your match to show that you are aware the match exists) is encouraged but not required.
    • Verses must incorporate at least one of the provided topics and must be at least 16 lines and must not exceed 64 lines.
    • Anyone who does not post at least 4 rap lines, incorporating at least one of the provided topics, is considered a no-show.
    • During check-in, you can ask your opponent to agree to a line limit (Minimum 16) and if your opponent agrees, Moderators will hold both participants to that limit.
    • Posting between 4-15 lines is considered a “show” but will not result in a match. If you post 4-15 lines, and your opponent posts between 16-64, you will lose the match but you will remain in the league. If you post 4-15 lines, and your opponent does not show, you will “Win by no-show”.

    • If you do not show you can’t vote in any matches. .
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    • 3-ways are inevitable. In order to provide a tie-breaker in a 3-way, you are now required to indicate in what order the contestants finished (1st, 2nd, 3rd).
      anyone who does not show or vote is suspended one week and must sign-in again to be inserted the following week.

    Topics: http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=1022025
  2. DeadKing

    DeadKing The Perfect Method

    Oct 20, 1999
    The Infinite Truth

    journey with me, as i will slowly tell
    the meaning of life, wrapped up inside a shell
    or tucked inside a pill, smoked inside a joint
    whatever be the means that your body be destroyed
    i'll avoid any lies, but tell you what i know
    and hope that it's caught on a filter in your soul
    as it goes, since man first walked into conception
    it was the fear of death that led him to redemption
    or as mentioned, we know God, we know Allah and Mohammed
    Jesus, Buddah, Joseph... Mormon's Smith, not the prophet
    Islamic land of Jews, Californias L Ron Hubbard
    or a Catholic fascination with the holy mary Mother
    so any way it goes, you got alot that you could choose
    spending all your life, trying to find all of the clues
    and lose, all that you got, all that you are able
    capable of learning that a god did not create you
    these faithful devote people, looking for a light
    somewhere in the darkness at the end of every life
    get it right, and please listen... this is as it goes
    learn to love and prosper, live a life that doesnt hold
    any walls, any thoughts, any visions of your death
    live a life of pleasure cause this life is all thats left
    i regret, many things, when i was raised up in a scene
    in northtown boston, by irish parents with a dream
    they wanted it for me, so i went to catholic mass
    where i was being pushed into a regimental trap
    like a rat, i would stay, in the isle of the way
    and take a communion from a pediphiles tray
    it was fake, yet so sad, everybody turned an eye
    when its obvious these kids at the alter were deprived
    to survive a normal life, how could they all believe
    that this father of the faith could do just anything
    his peddling, his lies, i use to get so mad
    until i realized, that to him... its all he had
    it was sad, how his life, was devoted to the lord
    he could never have a woman or be in love anymore
    so of course, with what he had, he was only able
    to focus on the flesh that was lined inside their anal
    ...see, now-a-days i see everything from an angle
    that i couldnt see before cause it was just too painful
    the wrong in the life, all the fucked up shit
    like anyone is any better, walking on a power trip
    heres a tip, who cares.... cause you cant go to hell
    and you cant go to heaven, might as well just fuck around
    sellin drugs, having sex with the one you didnt wed
    killin motherfuckers, raping biches in their bed
    instead, of doing this... you could fall back into line
    but i'll die when i'm dead.... you'll die one day at a time

    In a mad world only the mad are sane.
    Akira Kurosawa

    46 lines
  3. macmilimeterhyms

    macmilimeterhyms Product of the 80s

    Aug 14, 2002
    NICE verse, good luck

    I'm the pretext of war, more or less torture and death
    I force forfeits and leave corpses with a sword in the chest
    A stronger entity than many with a bloody identity
    Smother the enemy until he no longer has breath
    I stab dads with jagged daggers 'til I'm traumatically ill
    Mad, since a young lad I had a habit to kill
    Live as an imperial villain with superior skill &~
    you shouldn't slay females or children it's sad but I will
    The intermediate get immediately stampeded
    My feast ingredients give me the speed of hand needed~
    to juxtapose thrusts and blows upon my unlucky foes
    Duck below no matter what he throws he can't beat it
    Vast villages turn to ash and pillage periodically
    We take riches and berate women very methodically
    Sharp blade thru the heart of beggars who start~ to pray in the dark
    Slaying is art and I'm a prodigy
    Battle scenes & dramatic screams attack my dreams
    Sleeping fine and peace of mind is the past it seems
    Sleep with eyes staring, aware of all my senses
    I'm not ready to die & a blind man is defenseless
    Only thing relevant is death, elements that mesh
    To me another man is a walking skeleton with flesh
    Barbarian swearing scares men to loath in the mud
    My collection of weapons is heavy coated with blood
    Stolen tools of hopeless fools I~ thrive swinging metal
    He’s inside; I close mine and see the eyes of the Devil
    I'm the angel of death and the demon of life
    Victims get mangled and left bleeding but they're free from the strife
    My brutal ways make me want to puke for days
    Forget about the kids' screams when the school got razed
    Over the course of time even my horse is crazy
    We trample damsels and then torch their babies
    I'm a psychopath, only like to laugh when I'm alone
    Slaughtering daughters~ can't picture my wife back home
    It hurts; Earth's surface is cursed as long as I breathe
    I reverse birth worse than a cureless disease
    Smell the mold in the air, bodies cold and pale
    Eyes go numb hope my time will come when I'm old and frail
    So stand up for your land, expand til you're grand
    Hand to hand combat is how the victory's planned
    When the vultures are gone entire cultures are gone
    We never regret it just get in our boats and move on

    A Warrior's Life Story
  4. macmilimeterhyms

    macmilimeterhyms Product of the 80s

    Aug 14, 2002
  5. DiC GeTs GuLLy

    DiC GeTs GuLLy Hello

    Feb 26, 2005
    thanks for showing, go and getcha vote on.
  6. DeadKing

    DeadKing The Perfect Method

    Oct 20, 1999
  7. Pent uP

    Pent uP I'd Like to Fight Ten Men

    Feb 17, 2001
    [hide](its habit)Deadking -- the content in this was kind of dragged out, I think the fact u used small rhymes made it slower on the tongue...there were alot of bits and piece i liked by themselves but as a whole it didnt come together until the end of the piece...I likd the part wher eu were naming religion because u dropped hubbard and i thought that was funny, and I liked the line about the altar boys not knowing what the fuck, but i mean the whole anal bit was eh and the ending was pretty dope, it got intense real quick but no matter what his verse looks like it would have benefitted you as a writer to keep that kind of intensity all the way through.

    Macmili -- thats doper lyricism right there, however your content is the opposite quality of deadkings....so this is going to be hard to choose from...You had a real audio driven flow, pretty fluid, a few times i was like "he could have been better" but up to the last several it was all real dope shit lyrically, then u busted shit like old and frail/cold and pale and i was like 'where did this come from' but that didnt both me as much as this one thing:
    Your gorey desciptions, beautiful wording, and synic overtone
    went nowhere...there was no climax, it ended up being the same thing restated in different words throughout the verse....and it really bugged me because i wasn't that big on Kings piece...

    however in the end i'ma have to give it to mac because the lyricism is there and I just preferred that more to something that bored me until the very end....

    good battle though, if you two made one person you'd be unstoppable lol (dont mind me)[/hide]
  8. Tempermentalist

    Tempermentalist LetGoOfThePainMinistry

    Dec 16, 2002
    Dead King-in my opinion decent verse....i felt that the simplistic nature of your verse is what hurt it the most...from the word usage to the content you really didnt use any vocabulary or deeper conceptual thoughts to help out your content....and from the topic you picked and the route you were taking it, those would have helped you a lot...though there were pieces that you really did step it up a notch but you just werent consistant enough to pull it all together....

    macmilimeter rhymes-also a decent verse...i thought that your verse was a bit on the simplistic side but you used a pretty nice flow to take up for the slack....but that doesnt help everything....you had a few lines that started to get into the mind of the warrior and those were nice..you just needed to build off of those and really add some emotion to the piece....you were sketchy in that department...i believe that your writers voice was a little stronger then Dead King's and thats really what pulled it out for you...

    vote-macmilimeter rhymes
  9. SacriFICE

    SacriFICE TRUspeak

    Jul 13, 1999
    Alright alright, damn good battle here... best of the week maybe?

    Deadking: Writer's voice is stressed a lot for the voters in the league these days... The first... commentary type point in your verse had such strong voice... and transitioned smoothly into the second half, where you personalized it. You play a lot with basic schemes, and it's kind of in and out in my opinion... you use words effectively enough that your almost poetry like flow and scheming doesn't get boring... You're like a million times better version of Got Life? in the sense that you actually know how to use a simpler scheme to your ADVANTAGE, and not read like a moron. The flow was smooth, and as I said, bored me slightly because of its almost poetic elementary type flow, however... you drew it all together into a good piece...

    Macmilli: You're quite the opposite as Deadking in the sense that you use more complex schemes to your advantage... the first half of your piece really impressed me with the rhyming, the only qualm I had with your piece were some minor ineffectiveness in a few of your word choices, however, unlike a lot of writers who try to get complex schemes to match their ideas, your ideas were crisp, and easy to follow... Another thing that I had trouble getting over was the redundancy of your piece, you made statement after statement about the warrior's life... and while it is true that a warrior's life is redundant in that sense... it got a little tedious reading about how the warrior is brutal, line after line... not that I recommend writing a piece like this much differently... but what do I know?

    This was a battle that matched strength vs strength and I have to say, it was tough for me to vote on because both brought the heat... but I think Deadking took this.. my reasons are simple, more effective word usage as a whole... a simple scheme with deadly accuracy and excellent writers voice... if I could shoot this a TIE, I would because it's that damn close... Macmilli: don't take my voting against you as me saying I didn't like your verse..., I think with writing like that you will be a champ in this league... but Deadking impressed the hell out of me this week... maybe I'm wrong, I don't know, just my opinion.

    Good job to the both of you.
  10. .:Pain:.

    .:Pain:. Futurely J. Keeper

    Dec 4, 2005
    Deadking - This shit was great. I usually don't like simplistic rhyme schemes, but it seemed necessary in this verse. It created a conversational tone, and really made it seem like you were speaking (or writing) directly for/to the reader. You didn't delve terribly deep into the corruption of religion, but you did deep enough for someone to question what they may or may not believe. The pedophile/communion line was my favorite line of your verse, and possibly of the week. As simple as it was, it was executed perfectly to provide and very down to earth feel to your verse. I felt this shit.

    Macmilli - Really dope verse. After reading yours, this is IMO the match of the week. I was feelin' your rhymes for the most part, sometimes, your rhyme scheme was so complex that you wording suffered, however. Aside from that, I can't find anything else wrong with the verse. I liked the scheme you opened with, how you would break the scheme for a line then go right back into it in the next line, and I wished you kept doing it cuz it really made the verse move smoother IMO. In all honesty, if you would've just backed off of the multis a little and focused more on your wording, you would've took it.

    I'm casting a very embattled vote for Deadking, but macmilli probably would've won had he faced anyone else this week. Good shit from both of you...
  11. MrMister

    MrMister Urizen

    Feb 6, 2003
    vote - macmili

    Dead - nice piece wordplay was nice and it flowed easy
    but Im just not a fan of these kind of pieces cs the ending
    is never really that special but still a nice piece

    Macmili - this was a nice piece man at first I was like
    what the fuck is this ... I was hoping for a sick and twisted piece
    but then I came to the ending and I saw what it was and you really stayed on topic which was nicely done so that was nice

    this was a nice battle but I feel like mac took this just for his ending
  12. SD-11

    SD-11 The Iron Curtain

    Oct 3, 2006

    Flow:Mac...ur flow beat his flow by alot...it was pretty good flow..

    Multis: Mac, some nice multies i seen here...good job..

    Vocab: Tie, u both had some decent vocab...good job both..

    Imagery:Tie, both yall put some crazy images in my head...tht stuck out the most in both ur peices...

    Overall ima go wit MAC on this 1 cause i felt his flow was better and his overall peices was put together better....good job though to both...


  13. Shrug

    Shrug Street Poet

    Jan 31, 2005
    [hide]DeadKing- strong verse, very poetic. you had smooth transitions and the cadence of your piece followed well. not very strong on rhyme but its cool, the way it dwindled around the piece was an unusual touch that i liked. it gave the piece a very unique feel to it. sort of forcing me as a reader to find a constant rhythm to base the flow off of instead of rhymes. nice work

    Mac- ill verse too, very nice flow, felt good to read. your piece overall was well put together, besides like sac mentioned above your redundancy at times. your rhyme scheme. multis were a delight to read as well. nice verse

    vote is DeadKing tho.
    i enjoyed reading his piece a bit more. close battle. but DK did it for me on this one. all in all when i stepped back, lines from DK's verse stuck in my head more.
  14. DiC GeTs GuLLy

    DiC GeTs GuLLy Hello

    Feb 26, 2005
    mac wins.. very close match
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