7. L Dogg 13-4 Vs 8. MC4sight 5-0

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Nebz, Sep 23, 2003.

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  1. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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    [​IMG]



    VERSES DUE Wednesday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST
    VOTES DUE Saturday 10:00am PACIFIC/1:00pm EST


    Get Your Topics
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?threadid=642549

    LINE LIMIT:
    4 lines - NO SHOWS
    16 lines - MINIMAL
    60 lines - MAXIMAL


    VOTING:
    No crew votes
    No payback votes
    No 2nd Chance Votes


    YOU MUST MUST MUST -- POST YOUR URL'S OF ALL THE BATTLES YOU VOTED ON HERE IN YOUR OWN THREAD..

    VOTE ON 6 BATTLES!!!!!

    FAILURE TO DO SO RESULTS IN 3 VOTE SUBTRACTION!!!


    if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!!



    GO FOR IT!!!
    test
  2. LDogg The King

    LDogg The King The High Life

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    test
  3. MC4SiGHT

    MC4SiGHT JOE COMMiSSO

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    check...good luck
    test
  4. LDogg The King

    LDogg The King The High Life

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    test
  5. MC4SiGHT

    MC4SiGHT JOE COMMiSSO

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    [size=1.5]5. The man living beneath the underpass of a freeway

    done...i forgot bout this tho, i thought it was due thursday since they were posted quick so it's a quick key...forgive me for any mistakes in it..1 good luck man sorry i didnt post earlier




    Sound molecule's rush the waves, my ear brush of craze..
    With every flushing stray, of a vehicular above my brains...
    Flung with haze of mud retained, from dirt splashed from rains..
    Horrid face in a broken place, tryna make way with minimal space...
    In a race with time, nearly sixty-two, without job or income...
    What the average republican would call your average street bum..
    Strung off high-notes of failed careers, an economies bad last few years..
    Brung to tears as i reminiss peers who no longer seem to care or miss
    All I once knew, a dark hole under the never-ending road's abyss...
    Flipped from a realm oppiste I'm in, where i practically had everything..
    Brought withen the hells of sin, where i repent everything i did..
    Went from corp. owner, to street-corner,in a single eyelids wink...
    Never thought embezzling would lead to something that'd make me think..
    If my life just a waste,or a path of wrong decisions and mistakes..
    I take the blame, for it was my choice, still i'm miss that stronger voice..
    Poised in the weeds now, as cotton blows, my weeping willows with noise..
    Boys often toss pebbles barely missing, unknowing underneath a heads flinching..
    Pinching the moment when the tire blows, and over the railing one rolls..
    Folding hot steel and splashing schrapnel,condemening me eternal in this crap-hole..
    Dead-cold holding steady hearing sirens now and then, wishing it was a friend...
    Out to help or give advice to mend, better luck having a suicide jumpin then..
    Ever see that light come here, underneath, in darkness, a pool of fears..
    For years i felt i had it all, now i see even great men can fall..
    I stall every second, every minute a forever, here where i thought i'd never..
    Endevouring pit, a think-tank of all the stupidest shit i did...
    Sit i blink as if it was another lie i'd spin, frozen and brim...
    Slim and hungered, slumbered under a hollowing crib..
    A dim shadow of all the worst, if only time travel would work...
    But now i'm stuck fluctuating emotions back and forth...
    Under a solid grey cloud, a bic lighter my only torch..
    Scorching leaves and grass and twigs, when you lonely...
    Anything that occupies time wins, flimsy and pale my soul is week..
    Even i now would be suprised to last more then another weak..
    So i find rope, thrown or broke from some vehicle passed by..
    Beginning to plot my last breath, the steps until i die...
    So i nuse a makeshift tie, hanging my last string from a nail..
    Impailed in the rock ceiling, under the hall of wheels...
    Feel my way to slip my neck in, eyes close my finale beckoned...
    Then hop down from the stone, the last i'll stand, my life's wrecking...[/size]​
    test
  6. LDogg The King

    LDogg The King The High Life

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    posting on blue...

    oh an if you would have read the sticky.. u would see its not due until saterday... but oh well now we got the first battle up...

    an ill be keeping an eye on your edit date so u dont change nothin. : )

    pz bro
    test
  7. LDogg The King

    LDogg The King The High Life

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    Sitting On The Seashore...​
    .
    .
    .
    when I’m feeling trapped, afraid ill go out back, an sit with waves
    close my eyes an hear them say be brave as the echoes wash away
    the day is almost over an the sunset is in peace with the sky
    at these times I search for signs in the pink scenery through my eyes
    see my history makes me cry.. even though iv lived a good life
    none of my family has died.. I just wish things would have gone right
    its not like they didn’t though.. i was raised here with my daddy
    but i always wished i could have been with mom, ill never be happy
    see my dad raised me with strengths.. at night was wishing for nothing
    seems as though no matter where i went in life was always missing something
    could never have it perfect if i was with mom id miss my dad
    i talked about this to them before, they say be glad for what i have
    i stayed consistent with the search to break fates course
    cuz every time i would visit my mom would see she aged more
    and i wanted so bad to have shared the times of her youth
    i cried all the time about it but what could i do?
    so when people tell me to be happy i ask them how they can
    they tell me its these struggles that will break or make a man
    so some days will go by where I’ll show off a smile or two
    but i quickly relapse to sadness when i hear the hi, how are you
    from the calls i make to mom i wait for her but she takes to long
    i record music to let the pain go then tape her all my songs
    because we used to be real close i would tell her bout it all
    but as i grew older an got in trouble kept quiet of my downward fall
    i had to much appreciation for her and felt guilty of my doings
    felt i was disrespecting her at the same time my life i was ruining
    she has such a kind heart, not an angry bone in her body
    but she smokes everyday so i know her body is rotting
    all these things i can not change or even be there to see
    lately been feeling so alone an distant.. no one cares about me
    I’m depressed and smoking weed, but none of my family knows
    i really wish i could tell them.. don’t want them mad at me though
    or disappointed cuz i never wanted to let anyone down
    but I’m an guy who does nothing hoping ill be getting around
    --
    have even grown apart from all my friends, will never see them again
    they all moved to go to school but i see them when I’m dreamin
    but awake with yet the pain of feeling no one knows me
    and i don’t want to grow old alone feeling sad an lonely
    spend a lot of time at home, have grown close to my pets
    i love them more then people... i love them to death
    their there to listen to my problems an never say a thang
    an around when i need them just have to call out there name
    afraid to go find my way in life an leave all this behind
    i walk around with my cam corder sometimes so parts i can always rewind
    but I’m a troubled mind an ask why we cant have back the past
    i dwell in my own sorrow.. its been weeks since iv laughed
    asking god if when i die it will all come together an be perfect
    if all i got to do is believe in you then to me it is worth it
    but god iv asked you why u made life such a depressing place to be
    kids like me grow up and watch their family’s die off becoming history
    leaving everything that made us so were alone with strangers
    I’m angered, it doesn’t make much sense to me all i see is danger
    but this is nothing out of ordinary i think like this all the time
    hoping one of these days sitting out here my answers ill find
    the waves are so calm an mellow I’m at peace with my life
    just like an elk hopping through meadows who flees with delight
    knowing tomorrow will come and then many days after
    an during this time i must find what I’m after
    - and as the sunset went down an welcomed another night
    i walked inside to let it out, sat down on the computer to write..
    test
  8. MC4SiGHT

    MC4SiGHT JOE COMMiSSO

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    yeah i know, i didn't notice the sticky until after i posted...

    it's all good tho. nive verse by the way also...
    and don't worry im not gonna edit...

    1
    test
  9. HighPawTheCyst

    HighPawTheCyst New Member

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    MC4:

    nice verse, this is the first time i peeped you, and im impressed, your rhyme scheme reminds me of stony a little bit, you have a nice poetic voice, and the imagery gave a nice descriptive setting, the flow could've been better, but i guess that just comes with your style, you stayed on topic rather well, and never really fell off in the appeal aspect, nice read


    L-DOGG:

    been around for a minute, i always enjoy your pieces, and i must say this verse was ill, the imagery was hottt, i loved this line here

    see my dad raised me with strengths.. at night was wishing for nothing
    seems as though no matter where i went in life was always missing something]/i]


    i was feeling that, your concept was tight, i thought the topic choice was rather simplistic, cause it's like having a free topic week or something, but you still did your thing, nice flow, good vocab, and the scheme complimented your verse well, props


    OVERALL:

    2 different styles, 2 different topics, but 1 had the better verse, obviously, right?, well, im gonna say you both brought fire, props for posting early, but when it came down to my vote, i took the verse that had a more vivid feel, and im going with L-DOGG, even though his topic was easier, i could feel more like i was having a flashback at the beach, rather than deteriorating under a bridge, but props to both


    VOTE:

    L-DOGG
    test
  10. SIN2

    SIN2 as we speak

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    Both verses were pure fire....gotta say that first

    MC4 came hella nice...this is my first time peepin u also.....and like the others i was impressed.....if this was truly a key i give it to u.....i felt ur imagery was vivid....and u did give off tha poetic feel nice....yes tha way i read it,maybe made the flow off....it didnt stay real consistant all tha way thru....but overall nice shit


    L

    this is far from ur illest....but ur emotion in this i dunno its like I guess i could realate so i felt it real hard....u were vivid and u stayed consistant.....tho kinda simplicit it was still enuff to take this

    Vote-L Dogg
    test
  11. Papa_Smurf

    Papa_Smurf Junior Jedi

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    The same as everyone else said, I was feeling both verses, both came nice with their stories, and both stayed on topic well

    In my opinion however I liked Mc's story better, there's not really much of an explanation for it, I was just feeling it more, personally

    Vote: Mc4
    test
  12. Nu-SeNsE

    Nu-SeNsE WHERE THE $$$'S COME FROM

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    Both Verses Fuckin Really Good By The Way.....

    Mc4 I Thought Ur Verse Had Good Imagery And U Stayed On Topic Well

    L-dogg I Thought The Same Bout Urs Too But I Was Able To Realate To Ur Verse More So Im Gonna Have To Vote

    L-dogg
    test
  13. KonviKt

    KonviKt Jonny Punchline

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    vote= L Dogg

    Veeeeeery nice battle here boys. Both of you approached this shit nicely on 2 diff. topics with 2 diff. styles. Both you stayed on topic very nicely and provided some good reading. But somebody's gotta win and I enjoyed L's verse just a little more. Stay up.

    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?threadid=642702
    Return the favor please..

    test
  14. LDogg The King

    LDogg The King The High Life

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    test
  15. TeKneeK

    TeKneeK The Heart and Soul of RM

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    test
  16. VerbalWeaponz

    VerbalWeaponz Unholy-Syndicate

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    i was feelin both verses...tight tight shiz from both of u...im very impressed wit this.....

    MC4-u had a xcellent verse for a key...stayed on topic all way through.....good imagry/structure......

    L-Dogg-u had a good topic ta start wit.....nice imagry in this.....good vocab...sorta long but its also a topical...

    but if i have ta give it to ne one ima give it to MC4sight bcuz of tha fact that he had a harder topic to write bout...his was a key and his was a lot shorter (bout 20 lines) n i felt his shiz a lot better.....

    V-MC4sight

    Verbal
    test
  17. LDogg The King

    LDogg The King The High Life

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    haha at about 20 lines.. he just used a smaller text to make his look smaller lol... re count his lines dude ...

    hahaha funny shit

    4-2
    test
  18. Gummo

    Gummo New Member

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    i def have to agree with sin2's reply... ldoggs came wayyy harder than this, it just seems that.. well, it wont even you or .. i dont even know.. def not one of your best pieces.. but i just dont think you had enough here to edge out mc4.. he came pretty nice and ive never really sat and read his stuff.. but not bad, battle could have been alot better, keep it up. pz

    vote: mc
    test
  19. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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    L dogg wins
    test
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