6am

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by BelowTheHeavens, Apr 28, 2010.

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  1. BelowTheHeavens

    BelowTheHeavens New Member

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    6AM


    The whistle of the wind, the softness of her kiss,
    I asked myself...does it get any better than this?
    Early in the morning, the sun illuminating
    Drowns out the rain that’s pouring,
    Spirit soaring, the world at peace,
    The echo in the streets.
    With each step crushing the crisp leaves,
    A poet at heart but ripping apart any beat,
    Coffee fills me with emptiness,
    Reflecting on memories, ignore the haters,
    Wave hello to my enemies,
    That music that’s good for your soul,
    And when happiness takes a hold,
    You no longer feel that winter cold.
    test
  2. anonyMISSme

    anonyMISSme New Member

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    I dont know.. If this seems incomplete to ne one else but.. That is my opinion of it.. U only put one foot in on this food for thought.. It had a nice beginning tho.. Just shoulda prolonged wht i call a middle and abrupt ending.. There..i said it..
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    test
  3. BelowTheHeavens

    BelowTheHeavens New Member

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    This is the second poem ive written and i wrote it pretty quickly.

    Thanks for the opinion though, ill work on it.
    test
  4. anonyMISSme

    anonyMISSme New Member

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    Well in that case bravo.. Just make sure u get ur full emotion and point out ykno? Ull soar
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    test
  5. mr.rip

    mr.rip New Member

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    keep doing your thing short and to the point.
    test
  6. Spitblaze

    Spitblaze New Member

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    I think it need more complex keep dropping
    test
  7. BelowTheHeavens

    BelowTheHeavens New Member

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    dam...... appreciate the feedback.


    Like I said im new to this and i wrote it fairly quickly :)
    test
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