57. Dr. Cause VS 58. DJ Tactics VS 59. Marc Antony

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by TeKneeK, Jul 26, 2003.

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  1. TeKneeK

    TeKneeK The Heart and Soul of RM

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    VERSES DUE Wednesday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST
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    COLLECT YOUR TOPIC OF CHOICE HERE:

    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?threadid=609787


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    60 lines - MAXIMAL


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    YOU MUST MUST MUST -- POST YOUR URL'S OF ALL THE BATTLES YOU VOTED ON HERE IN YOUR OWN THREAD..

    VOTE ON 6 BATTLES!!!!!

    FAILURE TO DO SO RESULTS IN 3 VOTE SUBTRACTION!!!


    if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!!



    GO FOR IT!!!
    test
  2. Dr.Cause

    Dr.Cause Peep The Sig

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    okay in...
    test
  3. djtactics

    djtactics New Member

    Joined:
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    1. Your at the edge of a bridge and ur holding a 25 lb. cinder block tied around ur ankle. u see the painful memory of walkin in seeing ur wife with another man in bed. u feel ur life is over. whats going through ur head as ur standing on the bridge. do u drop the cinder block? Expand.


    Up at the entrance of dawn for another day on foundations.
    Hatin' manual labor, since joining the masonry nation.
    Contemplation leaves me aiming for a higher education.
    Savin' up, to get out of this life, in complete seperation.
    Another day distracted by the woman in my life.
    The same one who kept me from college, and maintained my strife.
    She doesn't even care anymore, sits around freeloading.
    Waits, moping, for Friday and my paycheck, and then she's gloating.

    I can't just sit back and watch all of this happen anymore,
    I settle the scores with death, I've poured my life into this whore.
    5:54, I finally return from a 10 hour day,
    she's horny, and unfortunately, I'm finding out the worst way.
    I'm exhausted, I already knew our love was caustic...
    took that idea and tossed shit, saw that bitch and I lost it.
    The pizza guy delivered for her, I quivered in the thought.
    "15 minutes not a sliver more"? Yeah, apparently not.

    Fury pulls the foyer to me, swings open the door, I run out...
    and it tells me I won't accomplish things if I just sit and pout.
    I know this punks route, I know every road that he takes.
    Leaving his business card behind was his biggest mistake.
    Stake-out, and observe the home-breaker for half of a week,
    took a sick day, watched him take her again, his future's bleak.
    Once the top of my class, I scheme up a plan to grass his ass.
    I could blast him, but thats too simple, instead I'll smash his dash.

    Late at night, a foghorn fills crisp air and awakens my senses,
    Anger has taken over, manifested through guys she's been with.
    Tethered to a cinder block, so that I can climb to the top.
    Racing the clock, and need both hands quick or this mission's a flop.
    With an extra twenty five pounds, still I make it in no time.
    "Maintenance Only, NO Trespassing", who listens to those signs?
    Through the door, up the ladder, finally to my vantage point.
    To unwind, I reach into my pocket and pull out a joint.

    Relaxed now, I can barely remember why I'm here at all.
    Pavement reminds me cement, and sequentially tears, shall fall.
    Seventy-plus miles per hour, bustling cells are cars and large trucks.
    I'm the twisted surgeon, ready to make this artery bust.
    A heavy, blunt scalpal normally not considered "choice" for cuts...
    Trust that I'll make this highway bleed to death, for my girlfriend (the slut.)
    I'm high above my victim, I remain faceless for protection.
    Inspecting the road, I see the pizza car; time for dissection.

    Untie my weapon, drop it from the sky, compensations perfect...
    "Ready to die boy?!" I cry. It hits, he commences his swervin'
    As cars pile up, I smile, partially riled and ready to escape.
    And make my getaway before displays of shiny yellow tape.
    Sprint home and change clothes, burn my old ones, just in case someone saw me.
    Girlfriend's still out, probably with another. Conscience is clawing.
    Most likely wasn't pizza boy's fault, should have given a trial.
    I guess my girl just likes to cheat, the whole time I'm in denial.

    I awake the next day, turn on the living room television,
    soul is jarred, as the local news channel makes a huge incision.
    I cringe, gasp horrified, grip the armrest, and my toes and teeth curl.
    The top story of last night, was a pizza delivery girl...
    It seems the target left early.. arguing over who was boss.
    Now my hands, also the road, covered in red blood and pizza sauce.
    test
  4. Dr.Cause

    Dr.Cause Peep The Sig

    Joined:
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    6. It is 11:32pm.. and you walk across a pier in the night.. the moon is glistening just above the waters in the distance... and you sit at the end of the pier on the edge... with your feet wading in the water.... you sit there... alone.... looking at your feet... then out into the moonlight.... thinking.... of....

    who???? - Narrate your thoughts or a story as you sit there.

    i sit early morning sun rising by the bay looking at it/
    As i sit bay the bay walkmen listening to nas Still Matic/
    life passes by seems like im going no were but my rhymes is still at it/
    i scratch my hair early in the day time rubing my eyes/
    stay behind realize analyse my scenery wind blows slightly/
    wondering how to become famous get envy to have kids want to grow up and be like me/
    just might be...waiting break through to get my carrer started/
    because how could i loose my dream if im full harted/
    skip some stones to relax my mind,passes by its just a clash of time,clashed with a classic rhyme,think about it if i have a fantastic line,whats the problem whats the reason why?/
    cold steel touches the back,primes exact about how im going with struggles that i can't contract/
    still listening to nas i realize he actully is right all i need is one mic/
    staged with hype,blazed with pipes,i would sell my soul if the pay what right/
    thining about leaving the peur but i stay to jog,
    what about money emceeing isn't working out as a day job/
    so i take out my note book to get out some ideas that leak/
    i think then speak untill my memery goes on tell my pen runs out of ink/
    i think about my fam what they go through/
    getting reconized in the game but no one know you/


    blah keyed it

    *edited to take out a bar*
    test
  5. Urizen

    Urizen Guest

    vote = djtactics

    his verse was long as fuck but I did like
    the way he explained it
    and I like the way I could visualize his
    pain and I could place myself in his position
    and that he didnt kill the right person was just 2 dope him going 2 kill the kid was dope
    only thing bad about it was that I didnt
    get to know if he jumped or not other than that nice

    dr.cause his verse was aight but
    I felt like he stayed on 1 thing 2 long
    didnt really feel his verse
    did like the wordplay tho
    test
  6. TeKneeK

    TeKneeK The Heart and Soul of RM

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    time check
    test
  7. K.I.T.

    K.I.T. Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    648
    Vote-Dj Tactics

    must I explain???
    test
  8. wrongmakeswrite

    wrongmakeswrite the streak wont end.

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2003
    Messages:
    123
    vote = djtactics..

    dope verse my friend, i felt the whole thing..
    test
  9. Vern Acular

    Vern Acular 12x RSTL Champ

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2001
    Messages:
    5,344
    vote djtactics, just an overall better verse, dc, was aight, but he was out classed here
    test
  10. Richard Corey

    Richard Corey battle like a savage

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    1,531
    vote: djtatics...(I mean, c'mon)

    to the other kid, Dr. Cause. Keep rhyming, right now, even as a key, that wasn't too good. But you have time to develop. Keep spitting, but more importantly, keep READING. That's the best way to learn, trust me, it'll help your writing AND your spitting.


    vote: djtatics
    test
  11. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2000
    Messages:
    16,814
    Vote DJ Tactics...

    Kid brought the heat... the other guy was ok, but it wasnt what was needed to win this battle...
    test
  12. BlackJesus

    BlackJesus ***************

    Joined:
    May 7, 2002
    Messages:
    4,761
    Tactics

    Nice twist...I was expecting your girl to be driving or something cliche like that...but i was suprised. Well structured and paced story...all around not a bad read. Nice work.

    Cause

    Seems like you were rushed on this...so I cant really pass full judgement. Just not up to Tactics on this one.

    Tactics
    test
  13. TeKneeK

    TeKneeK The Heart and Soul of RM

    Joined:
    May 3, 1999
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    27,824
    DJ Tactics wins 2

    Dr. Cause wins 1 loses 1

    Marc A - NS
    test
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