54. Veracity 0-0 vs. 55. trapezoidal 0-0

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Omen, Jul 5, 2003.

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  1. Omen

    Omen O Luh Da Kids

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    [​IMG]


    VERSES DUE Wednesday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST
    VOTES DUE Saturday 10:00am PACIFIC/1:00pm EST


    Choose 1 topic here:
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?threadid=597386

    and write your story for your match in this thread!


    LINE LIMIT:
    4 lines - NO SHOWS
    16 lines - MINIMAL
    52 lines - MAXIMAL


    VOTING:
    No crew votes
    No payback votes
    No 2nd Chance Votes


    YOU MUST MUST MUST -- POST YOUR URL'S OF ALL THE BATTLES YOU VOTED ON HERE IN YOUR OWN THREAD..

    VOTE ON 6 BATTLES!!!!!

    FAILURE TO DO SO RESULTS IN 3 VOTE SUBTRACTION!!!


    if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!!



    GO FOR IT!!!
    test
  2. Kondamnent

    Kondamnent New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2002
    Messages:
    326
    checkin in

    g'luck
    test
  3. NAX

    NAX Bring the Pain.

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2002
    Messages:
    186
    in.

    18. Abuse


    never was, never will, never would be shit,
    severed loves clever drills & i stood eclipsed,
    overshadowed by figures slamming me 2 the earth,
    over battles i quivered, bandaging wounds from birth,
    mean-mugs, fuck nurses - my mom slapped me first,
    seen blood & such curses, the draum mapped the worst,
    no presents or friends ... a living cell was my crib,
    dads presence - defends from fitting welts on my ribs,
    the belt-buckle was harsh, branded on my ass his mark,
    sometimes felt subtle sparks handed by my past remarks,
    never had a black eye, no teachers could see my pain,
    whether sad, i cracked smiles - a feature concealed by rain,
    teardrops were insignificant, wonder why the feeling left,
    fear, CLOCKED! "such an idiot!", slumber scared from his reeling left,
    & uppercuts ... scars show revealing wounds,
    they're re-opened whenever i think they're healing soon,
    im supposed to be a mommas boy, not daddys whipping post,
    so close to being so destroyed, my bodys stripping hope,
    now i provoke, hoping one more punch is deaths door,
    so i spoke ... holding my dying breath, he fell 2 the floor,
    a tiny hole had shone through, peering into his soul,
    mommy crumbled to her knees - holding the lives that she stole,
    in one hand, her husband she killed with his .38 snub,
    the other hand, her son she killed - never consoling or loved.
    test
  4. KonviKt

    KonviKt Jonny Punchline

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2001
    Messages:
    21,784
    good luck you two

    test
  5. Kondamnent

    Kondamnent New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2002
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    326
    13. Fear

    What is fear? Fear is sweat dripping down your nose...
    When it's cold and your whole damn body is froze...
    From your forehead down to your feet and your toes...
    Fear...is not knowing what everybody else knows...
    Fear is ignorance and being left all alone in the dark...
    Fear is like having a gap between ya home and ya heart...
    Just emptiness...a black whole...deep with no ends...
    Fear cripples you...everything...your feet and yo' hands..
    No friends...no family...no where to hide from the pains...
    When you can't beat the demons that hide in your brain...
    It drives you insane...this shit just eats you alive inside...
    To the point where you wish you would just die tonight...
    Fear is something that every one has faced in our time...
    All of those things that we place in the back of our minds...
    Fear is real...but fear is also a figment of your imagination...
    Fear comes in many shapes and sizes...translation...
    Fear could be anything, even things you least expect....
    Fear is looking at something you haven't beaten yet...
    Fear is not spiders and high places...real fear is strange...
    Fear is not knowing what makes you afraid of those things...
    test
  6. MC ENFERNO

    MC ENFERNO I love Mary jane

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2001
    Messages:
    1,620
    Man I dont even wann vote cause both verses were equal but I was feeling Trap's whole outline better made me feel for the kid

    Vote: Trap
    test
  7. Resilient.

    Resilient. .. . ..

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2001
    Messages:
    29,663
    .. ^ Over No Shows

    -Weez
    test
  8. Cocaine Charlie

    Cocaine Charlie shock aka solution

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2003
    Messages:
    126
    vote: Trap

    overrall better verse for me..the other guy tried doin what solution did with his 'tomorrow' topic a few weeks ago but it didnt really work..no twist..too ,many lines started with Fear..it only kept me focused because it was sshort..Trap came nice..i was feelin his verse..flow n multies was nice..it was pretty deep to..nice story..nice verse..
    test
  9. kaszmo

    kaszmo New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2003
    Messages:
    128
    vote: trap

    Ima keep this short cus i got a hangover, lol

    anyways trap got mad nice multis and a real good vocab, a nice flowin verse and good imaginary.. i loved his endin, kinda a shocker but real nicely written out.. Veracity u came good but i didnt really get into ur verse.. i liked the idea and u worked with it good but dunno Trap jus came iller to me
    test
  10. iceheart

    iceheart The Frozen Poet

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2003
    Messages:
    690
    vote: trap

    trap had better imagery and emotion in his verse, and he had a better vocabulary and used it better, and his just seemed to flow better to me

    peace
    iceheart
    test
  11. DahLohner

    DahLohner Straight Up Un-Holy

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 1999
    Messages:
    8,944
    Meh..

    Trap- Nice verse, your flow was off the chains for the first couple of lines, and you came with some interesting emotion, but the content lacked in my eyes, you could have made a stronger connection if you were going the 'story' way with your topic, ending was a bit strange and badly transitioned into.

    Veracity- your verse was just as flowable as trap's, plus your outline was a bit better, you stuck to the topic, you could have done more, but the verse looks well thought out and from beginning to end it is cohesive and creative.

    VOte-Veracity

    IMOUT
    test
  12. Kondamnent

    Kondamnent New Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    326
    blah..horrible votes...

    1-4
    test
  13. AuThoR NYSE

    AuThoR NYSE Black Hand

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2002
    Messages:
    1,166
    Trap - Nice verse.. flow was nice all the way through.. Content was good.. felt at times as if you were missin something in parts.. not a lot but like a minor detail.. it was good and I enjoyed the ending of your verse... multis were good.. nice word choice... All in all this was a very enjoyable read

    Veracity - flow was good.. your content was nice.. I enjoyed what you came with .. I didn't however enjoy how you used the word Fear so much.. almost as if each line contained the word... but your verse was nicely written

    This match comes down to personal preference I believe.. its a hard one to vote on.. both shined where the other was dim... But in the end I was feelin what Veracity had to offer more...I was just more drawn by what he had to say... Veracity barely took this one.. I'm talkin like barely by a pube hair.. shit was that close... I was just feelin what he brought more...

    Vote - Veracity
    test
  14. Kondamnent

    Kondamnent New Member

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    Messages:
    326
    thanks for voting

    2-4

    test
  15. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2000
    Messages:
    16,814
    lol Konvikt couldnt help himself but post the K² after he typed up his shit... it must be hard for him to keep an alias...

    lol....

    ill vote later...
    test
  16. Creatical

    Creatical Back up this bitch

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2001
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    4,055
    lol - shouldn't of pointed it out, he might have voted for himself later on.

    trap's was nice all the way through.. i only liked konvikt's closer..
    vote - trap
    test
  17. KonviKt

    KonviKt Jonny Punchline

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    21,784
    I can keep an alias

    But everybody already knows this one...

    test
  18. Omen

    Omen O Luh Da Kids

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2001
    Messages:
    21,912
    Trap Wins 1-0

    veracity Loss 0-1
    test
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