53.-War- vs. 54.Marc Antony

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Omen, Oct 12, 2003.

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  1. Omen

    Omen O Luh Da Kids

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    VERSES DUE Wednesday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST
    VOTES DUE Saturday 10:00am PACIFIC/1:00pm EST


    VOTING RULES
    No beef votes
    No payback votes
    No 2nd Chance Votes, Once and Done


    VOTE ON 6 BATTLES!!!!!


    FAILURE TO DO SO RESULTS IN 3 VOTE SUBTRACTION!!!
    This week and following we will enforce this rule



    4 lines - NO SHOWS
    12 lines - MIN
    60 lines - MAX


    Fail to Post URL's all those votes will not count

    Your Topics are here
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?threadid=652131


    if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!!


    NEW RULE: Voting On a No-show Verse does not Count as your vote, Both Competitors must show.

    Go Forth And Produce​
    test
  2. Konfucius

    Konfucius Yah Boy Kon

    Joined:
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    "I hate you!!"




    ....Reflects....



    He hated me, so blaintantly, with this unsupressed passion;
    I'd play hide & hope, no seek, when he'd 'swing' into action.
    Smashin' down beer after beer, my fear would grow deeper,
    Along with his drunkness, and this hated toward my keeper.
    Hed leave her, & come stumbling home as drunk as a mouse;
    With a mouth full of curses, & whatever liquor in the house.
    His spouse loved him, and she'd try so hard to please him,
    With no reason, because he'd always threaten he's leavin'.
    Beneath 'em was me, my room echoed with screaming hate,
    Late nights became routine, so did the scrapes on her face.
    This place, in which I called home, became hell in it's own,
    That throwned an evil tyrant, the family had never known.
    Then get stoned was a regular, my face could feel all the hits
    Cept Im not talking about weed, those stones were his fists.
    My lips would be swollen, & all the kids at school made fun;
    I wish they knew how felt to hear your dad, & have to run.
    And none of them knew all the fucking pain I went through,
    My bruises started resembling my feelings, all black and blue.
    I threw tantrums, but my father would just throw punches,
    But all his anger was be paid out, me & my mom as fundage;
    And Id tell him that "I hate you dad", just like my son did.


    *....Tear....*

    I realize what Ive become, the father in which I hated as a son,
    The one who hung himself, but God wouldnt let me be done.
    As the sun hit my eyes, I thought to go talk to my only kid,
    So I walked to the room I'd always find him hiding in.....
    Only to find his motionless body hanging from the same ceiling I tried it with....



    Only The Dead Have Seen The End Of War
    test
  3. marc antony

    marc antony It's all about da ass....

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    OMG I ALMOST FORGOT!!!!......

    N E WAYS OFF THE DOME I GUESS......

    Omnific
    knock, knock.....you anwser the door only to find this teenage kid with a note in his hand, you read the note then look at him.....he replies "hi dad/mom", what do you do, how did this happen



    i cant wait because i had just planned out my day/
    going to the game got out the face paint can to spray/
    painted a sign and got my jersey for my favorite player/
    he dont play now but i guess i'll think about it later/
    cant wait grab the keys, the ticket's in my jeans/
    til i heard a knock and ran to see who it could be


    *squeak*

    "hey mister"

    What the fuck is up this kid is really trippin out/
    how in the hell did he end up at the address of my house/
    gace me a note that said that i was quote "his dad"/
    then, he called me DADDY and held out his little hand/
    BACK UP kid im sorry but i do not know you partna/
    i dont even remember the name of this person you call momma/
    maybe it was that night at vegas i admit i was a bit/
    stoned from the weed and was feelin buzzed a bit/
    no no that wasnt it because that girl doesnt fit/
    into the description of this kid/
    wait! no i looked over again he looks familiar/
    looks like this girl i dated named virginia/
    so i took him in because it was chilly out/
    and invited him to have a seat upon the couch/
    i needed a llife-line so i decide to phone a friend/
    the message "you didnt show so i went alone instead".....


    THIS CANT BE HAPPENING.......

    *click click click*
    *rrring* *rrring*

    "hello...virginia charles speaking"

    Listen slut, dont play games just give it up/
    the kid aint mine we know how could you give im up/
    you suck as a mother i always knew you would/
    i always fucked you double wrapped when i drew the wood/
    i thought we talked it out and knew you understood/
    you would never try to pin it if it ended in parenthood/
    now come and get your kid before i go insane/
    you know i aint never been fit to be a father/
    that's why i fucked you and left you to be the momma/
    i got plans for the game and aint got a lotta/
    time for all this yada yada so squash the drama/
    i got my face painted and tickets for the game/
    now come get your kid before i go insane..!!!!


    listen....
    i aint actin stupid but tell me what else could i be doin/
    the kid was your's from when we screwed in/
    your car at the homecoming reunion/
    you dont remember...please kid dont gimme that/
    how could you forget our first time without a jimmy hat/
    of course you dont because you werent sober/
    you was drunk off vodka, hennesy, and soda/
    and no.... i dont mean coca-cola/
    OK lemme try to explain this...../
    this all happened then you flew us out to vegas


    *............................................*


    ^^
    Oic you remember now yeah that's how we had a child/
    you came onto me with your lines and twisted smile/
    i couldnt see through the fact you was just out to nut/
    i was horny as a teen my frame about to bust/
    you saw the opportunity and snatched it/
    you two-faced drunken little bastard/
    i cant forgive you im gonna leave here for a awhile/
    while im gone do me a favor and take care of my child......


    *click*
    test
  4. marc antony

    marc antony It's all about da ass....

    Joined:
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    sorry about the length..i didnt mean to go over the limit..i apologize.....just dont dq me..PLEEEAASSEEE.... i havent posted here in forever...this is only my second rstl thread and i want a decent chance.....

    i got carried away with the story.......(begging complete)

    wait...recounts....if you dont count the lines with the sounds on em i think i just may have made it....my bad (sniffles)
    test
  5. SpitsWell

    SpitsWell ...is godly

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2003
    Messages:
    293
    -War-

    this was a dope verse, you showed the emotion well through your words, i was really feeling this, you had some dope lines...heres a few that i liked

    He hated me, so blaintantly, with this unsupressed passion;
    I'd play hide & hope, no seek, when he'd 'swing' into action.

    Beneath 'em was me, my room echoed with screaming hate,
    Late nights became routine, so did the scrapes on her face.

    Then get stoned was a regular, my face could feel all the hits
    Cept Im not talking about weed, those stones were his fists.

    So I walked to the room I'd always find him hiding in.....
    Only to find his motionless body hanging from the same ceiling I tried it with....


    overall dope verse the twist at the end was nice...never fell off the topic and after reading it, i was feelin a little sad
    ....sheds a tear.

    Marc Anthony

    your verse was pretty decent, in a few parts it got a little simple, the layout became a bit weak at times...good points were that ya never fell off the topic...ya came pretty consistant with that and i feel the end was kinda rushed....lines i liked from yours...

    i needed a llife-line so i decide to phone a friend/
    the message "you didnt show so i went alone instead".....

    i couldnt see through the fact you was just out to nut/
    i was horny as a teen my frame about to bust/

    overall pretty average verse, kept to the story tho....but

    vote-war
    test
  6. Konfucius

    Konfucius Yah Boy Kon

    Joined:
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    3,027
    test
  7. SamGoodY

    SamGoodY trully inspired...

    Joined:
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    539
    my vote i'ma have to say goes to war.... hoooah.... what is it... good for... absolutely.....

    his verse was aight all the way through... nothing mind blowing throughout the construction of it all, but a solid strong finish with a twist had me like "what?"

    marc, your verse was also not very mond blowing throughout, but also it dragged out too long to only come to a predictable, simple ending... with that many bars, you shoulda been able to flip the script a lil bit harder...

    vote=war
    test
  8. prophetional

    prophetional hokey muh-fuckin' pokey

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    1,685
    yeah, i'ma have to say war's story was just that much of a better story then marc's..
    sry dude, the plot was just too simple...

    vote=war
    test
  9. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2002
    Messages:
    25,952
    Up Up and Away
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  10. LDogg The King

    LDogg The King The High Life

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2000
    Messages:
    16,941
    i liked marcs story.. he stay focused on tha topic an i admire that.. maybe alittle simplistic... but i enjoyed tha read.. got alittle choppy twords tha end.

    war.. u had a coo verse.. i dont think you stayed as true to ya topic as ya oponent.. but u made it into a more readable story which i liked.. the ending came up alittle to quick like it wasnt thought out unti you got down that far in tha story... in all though i think u wrote a good story..

    vote war

    good luck to you both.
    test
  11. Spy2

    Spy2 BlahBlahBlah -MostRappers

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2000
    Messages:
    655
    I gotta agree... too bad Marc forgot about the deadlines and had to rush it... I definitely know how that goes... War just had a more thought out verse, probably because he had more time to think about it... just bad luck Marc, I'm sure you'll remember next week.

    Vote: War
    test
  12. Gummo

    Gummo New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2002
    Messages:
    12,311
    IMHO:

    Ok.. not bad not bad, both had pretty nice drops, Marc.. your verse read like you rushed and didnt put a lot of time/effort into it,.. i guess its not bad if thats what you did, but you could have put some more focus into it.. story read well and was pretty good. nice work for the time you put into it, whatever that was. War, nice imagry, can def relate to what you were typing, kind of fucked me up while i was reading it, def took a good approach on this with the details made it short and made a good point and story.. Id say you took this nicely..

    Not a bad match.

    Vote: War
    test
  13. Penitence

    Penitence Penny.

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2003
    Messages:
    2,856
    -War-

    I loved this verse,This verse was nice. You had great flow, Nice vocab and emotion... Overall This verse was dope, The twist at the end was nice... This was very emotional and you stayed on topic well.

    Marc Anthony


    Your verse wasn't bad. You never fell off the topic... I just didn't really feel this verse. Overall this was an alright verse.

    vote-war
    test
  14. Inatimate

    Inatimate Guest

    War - I could feel your verse, Nice drop, and It flowed well. It seemed like you had put your heart into this as it had meanin.

    Marc - Not Bad, but could have been a lot better if you put thought into it. Didnt feel yours as much as I was feelin War's

    Vote - War
    test
  15. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

    Joined:
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    test
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