5. Pestilence 8-3 Vs 6. Vigil 24-17

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Pent uP, Oct 5, 2006.

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  1. Pent uP

    Pent uP I'd Like to Fight Ten Men

    Feb 17, 2001



    The Standard League Rules will still be Enforced

    Due Dates

    VERSES DUE: Saturday, 11:59PM PST/2:59AM EST
    Verses posted after the deadline will not count!

    VOTES DUE Monday, 11:59PM PST/2:59 EST
    Votes posted after the deadline will not count!

    • Check-in (Posting in your match to show that you are aware the match exists) is encouraged but not required.
    • Verses must incorporate at least one of the provided topics and must be at least 16 lines and must not exceed 64 lines.
    • Anyone who does not post at least 4 rap lines, incorporating at least one of the provided topics, is considered a no-show.
    • RECYCLING IS NOT STRICTLY PROHIBITED. You may not use any verse that you have previously used within the league at any time. Whether it was a no show, tournament verse recycled for the league or visa versa or any verse that have ever been used within the league perimeters.
    • During check-in, you can ask your opponent to agree to a line limit (Minimum 16) and if your opponent agrees, Moderators will hold both participants to that limit.
    • Posting between 4-15 lines is considered a “show” but will not result in a match. If you post 4-15 lines, and your opponent posts between 16-64, you will lose the match but you will remain in the league. If you post 4-15 lines, and your opponent does not show, you will “Win by no-show”.

    • If you do not show you can still vote and post the links in your match to receive full voting points. In addition, if you do not show, yet vote on at least 4 matches (Or, every match available, should there be less than 4 matches to vote on) you will remain in the league.
    • Votes must be hidden! To hide a vote, first thing you type in your reply is a bracket “[“, the word “hide” and end bracket “]”. The last thing you type in your reply is a bracket “[“, a backslash “/”, the word “hide” and end bracket “]”. Unhidden votes will not count towards the match or towards your vote requirements.
    • No second chance votes! If your vote has been edited, even it was only to hide it, your vote will not count towards the match or towards your vote requirements.
    • No bias votes! If you have a personal investment in wanting someone to lose, whether because that member voted against you once, or you just don’t like that person, whatever the reason, do not vote in the match. If have a personal investment in wanting someone to win, whether because they’re crew member, or because you want to face that person in the next week’s brackets, whatever the reason, do not vote in the match.
    • ”Bias” must be confirmed by a Moderator.
    • If there is a match which you will not be able to vote on, due to “Bias” of any type, state so within your match prior to Verses Due Deadline. If this reduces the number of matches available for you to vote on to the point where you are unable to vote on at least 4 matches, the point scale will be adjusted according to how many matches you do vote on.
    • 3-ways are inevitable. In order to provide a tie-breaker in a 3-way, you are now required to indicate in what order the contestants finished (1st, 2nd, 3rd).
      anyone who does not show or vote is suspended one week and must sign-in again to be inserted the following week.

    Topics: http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=1012567
  2. pestilence

    pestilence now believes he's hyphy.

    Apr 5, 2000
    good l.

    I'll probably post up today sometime.

    I'm all out of money to gamble online.
  3. pestilence

    pestilence now believes he's hyphy.

    Apr 5, 2000

    The only hour of my life,
    Was set to the Golden Child,
    Playing the tunes of olden styles,
    Around 7 o’clock on Power 99…
    In a dark, dreary, smoky, sticky room…
    Was a gray figure, symbol of impending doom…
    Walking slowly,
    Cleaning up the empty Mickey’s 22s…
    I don’t know what happened to her…
    She filled her bags up with my childhood…
    Falling though the sands of the hourglass,
    Laden with syringes like Wildwood,
    New Jersey. Beaches.
    Water that rebirthed me…
    My mind in two words; wordy, leeches.

    Can you? Picture a Spring Formal?
    With falling red leaves…
    And all the bridegrooms and bridebrides…
    Climbing up ominous dead trees…?
    All of them delighted,
    And me showing up in a sweat suit…
    Last standing in musical chairs…
    They had these brutal, dead stairs…
    Right then and there,
    I knew that I wasn’t invited…
    Every time I incited a riot…
    All of the blood disappeared…
    With the exception of my hands…
    I abandoned my man, my girlfriend,
    And my family,
    Actually quite handily,
    I did it with no problem or conscience…
    My goblinized spirit,
    To any souls that hear it,
    Would be taken in the wrong context.

    The realization of Spring is gone.

    Ever since the day, that hour,
    That last 22 Poured out…
    There was no more getting ass-
    At Ms. Newport’s house…
    There was no more getting brains-
    In my high school chair…
    In that spring,
    I think I left my soul right there.
    Every morning the sun hits my eyes.
    Is never taken lightly…
    Get out of bed and touch the soul
    In the bottom of my Nikes…
    I know its real,
    I invented some new type of wheel…
    In my consciousness.
    Every time it’s the same emptiness…
    In the same empty nest,
    That is left in the drawer of my past,
    When she packed up my bags so fast,
    That I didn’t know my childhood was missing-
    Until 4 years later…
    And only 4 tears year,
    I could get drunk off a glass of them…

    Carter’s gone, Sanborn's gone…
    The days of the Green Lantern are here…
    The answer was once a different shade of green…
    Still in all that answer’s gone…
    Help me find it…
    If you ever see the Smoky Woman,
    Walking with my bags,
    Embrace that happiness for a minute,
    For me.
    Stop and take a drag.
  4. Vigil

    Vigil Im infinite consciousness

    Aug 16, 2005
    Peace is Priceless - [In the End]

    Evil is homegrown.
    Jack didn't know it until he was left alone
    in a middle of a War zone, on death's throne.
    He rests on a top of a bed rock; a headstone
    after falling like the two towers when he had his legs blown.
    Jack was the only voice of peace but he couldn't raise the speakers
    so he read between the lines and took a page from his leaders.
    It was either closed shells or an open book
    and he knew only a self-inflicted wound would be overlooked.
    So Jack made the decision to take a position
    for once he didn't care about the sake of the mission.
    Jack knew In the End soldiers don't get a round call
    so he chose to fall down and not let standing be his downfall.

    Jack's a mastermind with an axe to grind and the facts to find
    but he's sticking his neck out
    only to have it slashed by the same hacks who tapped his spine.
    The frontline is dead, but it isn't too late for Jack to call it quits
    his family has a long line in the military but a line is all it is.
    Cause of politics it's hard to pit the patriot from the traitor
    and you're identified as a patriot if you're a trader.
    Seven months ago Jack was on a hunt for a wife,
    now he's holding a gun and a knife
    cause he bought a lie and the refund is his life.
    Jack isn't a push over, he just got pulled in the wrong direction
    if opposites attract then him and war have a strong connection.
    For businessmen its hand over fist & their planning this out
    but for Jack its hand over mouth until he's standing to shout.
    War is a numbers game, and the dead toll can make heads roll
    but not enough to see full circle so everybody plays their set role.
    But Jack's carrying an unfair toll, leading a band of scare crows
    he's nothing more than a sitting rubber duck in a tub full of air holes.
    He's a major on the field but in the room he's just a minor expense
    that can be resigned, redefined and dispensed,
    being a soldier is Jack's last line of income & America's first line of defense.
    His mind is intense inbetween the past and the present
    leading an infantry that's made up of a cast of peasants.
    "Never withdraw from the line of fire in a war!"
    This is Jack unmasked, at his essence, at his core.
    But lately Jack's hasn't supported his scout
    he's living in a world where smoke billows across spoiled clouds
    unable take in the horror so he giving orders out.
    He's thinking of giving in but he never planned to leave
    Jack's a man made beast driven to his hand and knees
    endlessly sinking beneath, every blink shuts him from the sun
    he's looking to cut and run so he can be home to hug his son.
    He sees a bedrock on unfamiliar territory; above ground
    so he goes to lie on it, praying fellow troops don't come around.
    He plants a couple of landmines and stands by
    then he crosses the line and falls like a damn fly.

    As a kid, Jack was never one to bare guns,
    but being a pawn, he was unable go back to square one.
    He left college to volunteer after his life didn't fall in gear
    hoping to call the army a career but all that disappeared in the clear.
    Jack had one year left, but he couldn't wait so he digged and planted
    and he escaped a war that would've eventfully taken his for granted.
    In war, you're judged but there's never an inquiry
    so while the jury was out Jack secured his injury.
    And peace is costly but Jack wasn't ready to say his last regards
    In the end, peace is priceless only for those with the master's card.
  5. Pent uP

    Pent uP I'd Like to Fight Ten Men

    Feb 17, 2001
  6. Lord Notik

    Lord Notik The Mind is a Scary Place

    Jun 20, 2004
    [hide]Vote Pestilence

    that verse was amazing man, if there was any archive it should be put in it. the flow was not even that much of a stand out but the way you portrayed the picture was very well done...Vigil came correct but i wasnt really diggin his story....i got bored with it right out the gate. good job[/hide]
  7. pestilence

    pestilence now believes he's hyphy.

    Apr 5, 2000
  8. pestilence

    pestilence now believes he's hyphy.

    Apr 5, 2000
    .... vote to save a baby.
  9. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

    Aug 3, 2005
  10. SacriFICE

    SacriFICE TRUspeak

    Jul 13, 1999
    [hide]Enjoyed this battle, unfortunately I don't have time to leave a detailed feed for each verse.

    Pestilence: Again, feeling your style like last week, however, something about this piece didn't hit me hard like yours last week. I felt the rhyming was a little diluted in some parts, but meaning wasn't sacrificed for rhyming and meaning wasn't diluted because of the rhyming, so I can't fault you too much on that. However, the abstractness in your lines, creates a poetic atmosphere around your piece, and it was pretty fun to read... I definitely can relate to alot of the individual concepts presented in this piece.

    Vigil: This might be my favorite piece of yours that I've read since I joined the league. At first, when I saw Jack I thought it was going to be yet ANOTHER jack the ripper piece,, I almost killed myself.. but then I saw it turn in a cool war summary from the perspective of a soldier, and I love these types of stories, war and that the personal philosophy surrounding it has always fascinated me. You topped Pestilence on the rhyming tip, although I couldn't any sort of flow really in your piece, the rhyming kind of kept it in shape, sort've like a barrier at the end of the lines, keeping them from going too crazy... thats the great thing about good rhyming...

    Gotta give this to Vigil, although I COULD see this going either way, unfortunately for Pestilence I just felt Vigil's more this week... Enjoyable matchup.

  11. Fold

    Fold *NEW* DIC - just add gay!

    Aug 26, 2005
    Pestilence, the start of this seemed pretty interesting as the character established a problem with depression and began to open up on why. The flow was weird in a lot of places and difficult to follow, but I liked that part in the start too. As it towards the ending though, I was hoping for more direct content. The details were kind of bland and vague and the flow wasn't connected well so the reading got rougher to look for the rhymes. Wasn't really feeling this as much as yours last week.

    Vigil, this was nicely layed out. The character build was cool and gave me insight on what was happening with Jack. The military content seems kind of uncreative to me, but I liked the flow and it was pretty nicely developed with the content. Some of the details and scene displays were good too and got me into the content more as it got kind of interesting in the middle. The ending wasn't as good as the rest to me, but overall I liked it.

    Vote Vigil

  12. Shrug

    Shrug Street Poet

    Jan 31, 2005
    [hide] Pestilence- i really enjoy your drops, this won didnt let down. you had a great modern idea behind such an old piece of art that you applied wonderfully. your rhyme was very natural, the flow of the piece was great. the end was the great complement to the rest of the piece. nice drop

    Vigil- another writer i enjoy, this piece didnt dissappoint. wonderful concept. a bit expected when i read the topic but wonderfully executed. the multis were awesome. the gradual incline the story held was great and the ending tied up everything else perfectly. your rhyme, flow, vocab, and plot composition were well thought and done. great drop

    Vote Vigil [/hide]
  13. Pent uP

    Pent uP I'd Like to Fight Ten Men

    Feb 17, 2001
    Vigil Wins
    I did not see that coming
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