41. : Alias : vs. 42. JJ Dahmer

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Mr.Perfect, Aug 9, 2003.

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  1. Mr.Perfect

    Mr.Perfect New Member

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  2. JJ Dahmer

    JJ Dahmer New Member

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    test
  3. : Alias :

    : Alias : -:No Need For An Alias:-

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    Checking in and the topic im going to do is

    Just like the rest of us...you life sucks. But unlike the rest of us...your a fucking maniac. After rumors of you getting fired circulate around the office...you pack a backpack full of weapons to exact your revenge...what do you bring? What the fuck happens?- BlackJesus

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  4. JJ Dahmer

    JJ Dahmer New Member

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    Number 16...


    Death Row August 15th, 2003


    Reporter: JJ Dahmer, how are you feeling right now??


    JJ Dahmer Speaks....


    well, right now i feel the pain of death coming
    God, he saw all my wrong doing and he shunning
    Me, because i fucked up, messed up what the hell
    I, can't believe that i knocked the bitch through the shelf
    And, punished her in her own bed, infront of her kids
    I, guess I lost my mind, when i was only thinking with my dick
    She, was my love until she fucked around with that Jack
    Nickalous, i split his hips and slashed through his back
    With, six iron clubs, and one driver to his fuckin head
    I, left the scene as the cops see they both lied dead

    (switches mind state)
    but....

    It, was the only thing i could do to rid the pain
    This, it's true, real live shit ain't no fucking game
    Nothin, was the same when i saw my babies crying
    Look, i'm sorry momma but now i'm really dying
    I, got about 5 minutes til they show me heaven
    But, i dunno if i'll ever make it to this so called heaven
    Because, i be fucking around with dead wrong thangs
    My, mind was messed up but not on coke or heroine
    It, was all in a rush, when the cops bust right up in
    My, fucking home, when i was cleanin afta din-din
    Didn't, try to Run from'em, i just made it hard for'em
    To, catch this young ballah, broke the cops forearm
    Bashed, all over the other cops head wit a doorknob
    Eat, this food sucks worse than uncooked corn on the cob


    (switches mind state)
    listen...


    Prison, is the equality to hell, fuck going to jail
    I'd, rather rest in peace in a grave then set Bar Sail
    For'Real, this shit drivin me crazy, i wanna die sane
    Look, i wasn't up to the level of this motherfucking game...



    JJ Dahmer's Death
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  5. : Alias :

    : Alias : -:No Need For An Alias:-

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    logical thinking is out the question I am at my wits end
    too much pain in my life but I could deal with shit then//
    I tried my best at work to deal with the difficult shit -
    my bosses name is on the hollows in the pistol i grip//
    multiple weapons packed up to exact my revenge -
    duece duece , baby nine , nah i'll clap wit the ten! -
    fire me?!?! of all people?! yeah let me get the eagle!
    I'ma kill em' even if it gets me trapped in the pen //
    thoughts of his blood are on my mind as I exit the stairs
    I was a pretty good worker Tracy never was there! //
    Neither was fred, oh and what about that new bitch?! -
    Kim, she's sexy as hell but she doesn't even do shit!//
    Louis said what up as walked through the doors -
    til' i cocked the hammer back and he fell on the floor//
    I watch his blood spill until from around the corner
    came Lilly's ugly ass with her boyfriend warner//
    staring in astonishment they just trembled in fear
    Lilly tried to run but the bullet darknened her hair //
    "Warner I got no problems wit ya homey come here"
    he stepped foward I put a bullet in the face of that queer//
    the diner was empty that day and I was glad for the reason
    that the boss was gunna suffer then he'd stop breathing!//
    the employees were all slain there was one thing left -
    collect my check and see to it that the boss meets his death//
    I locked the diner door and slowly jogged through the kitchen
    as I jogged I rummaged through my bag and pulled out the smithin//
    see the diner was sort of small he wasn't hard to find -
    on his door were the words "Boss: Marvin Vines"//
    grabbing the knob I twisted it to find it was locked -
    but I fired the smithin and it came off with a pop//
    I found marvin in his chair sitting cozy as hell -
    til' he seen I wasn't playing and I loaded up shells//
    sweat dripped I walked foward guns a blazed -
    my boss died on his table there was a page -
    which said if all went well i was getting a raise//

    Damn
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  6. Mr.Perfect

    Mr.Perfect New Member

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    upp over no shows
    test
  7. DahLohner

    DahLohner Straight Up Un-Holy

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    Hmm..

    jjdahmer- Not bad, your flow is very unique and creative, the way you present it added an element of insanity to the verse and the story, which appealled to me, it jus needed some elaboration, but this was a good verse..

    Alias- Great verse man, reminds me of Black Jesus or Awedishin's early work, flow was on point throughtout, creatively interesting, plenty of detail, and a cool albeit forseeable ending, great story.

    Vote-Alias

    IMOUT
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  8. : Alias :

    : Alias : -:No Need For An Alias:-

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    test
  9. wrongmakeswrite

    wrongmakeswrite the streak wont end.

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    oh maaaaaaaaaan..

    i was readin dahmer's & i was feelin it.. no doubt. i thought he had this when i was bout half way through alias' verse.. then the part about gettin the raise, i was like OH SHIT!

    vote = alias
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  10. JJ Dahmer

    JJ Dahmer New Member

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    2-0 Alias


    nice verse
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  11. : Alias :

    : Alias : -:No Need For An Alias:-

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    uppin nice verse to you as well
    test
  12. prophetional

    prophetional hokey muh-fuckin' pokey

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    alias

    his verse painted a better picture. was vivid and smooth to read. just didn't seem like dahmer came with his best effort.
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  13. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

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    Vote Alias...

    Kid was doper with the multis and the whole nine, and a more vivid story...

    good shit JJ, u need to work on your vocab first...
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  14. shockgod

    shockgod 1x Rstl Champ

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    vote - alias

    more entertainin verse to read
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  15. Flow Da HoloGraff

    Flow Da HoloGraff Fuck Up!

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    vote - alias

    although a word of advice to both of u ... both of u had decent stories ..nothing spectacular ... but theres nothing wrong with that ... if u have a killer twist that compensates most of the time ... and also try using multis ...alias won because his was better written this time .... good job yall
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  16. Poe Wetic

    Poe Wetic New Member

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    why is this still open
    test
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