40. <maven> 1-0 vs. 41. Krisp 1-2

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Omen, Jul 5, 2003.

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  1. Omen

    Omen O Luh Da Kids

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    [​IMG]


    VERSES DUE Wednesday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST
    VOTES DUE Saturday 10:00am PACIFIC/1:00pm EST


    Choose 1 topic here:
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?threadid=597386

    and write your story for your match in this thread!


    LINE LIMIT:
    4 lines - NO SHOWS
    16 lines - MINIMAL
    52 lines - MAXIMAL


    VOTING:
    No crew votes
    No payback votes
    No 2nd Chance Votes


    YOU MUST MUST MUST -- POST YOUR URL'S OF ALL THE BATTLES YOU VOTED ON HERE IN YOUR OWN THREAD..

    VOTE ON 6 BATTLES!!!!!

    FAILURE TO DO SO RESULTS IN 3 VOTE SUBTRACTION!!!


    if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!!



    GO FOR IT!!!
    test
  2. krisp

    krisp aka PhsyKris

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    checking in
    test
  3. krisp

    krisp aka PhsyKris

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    ima do FEAR as my topic...g'luck maven
    test
  4. <maven>

    <maven> Vice Versa

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2003
    Messages:
    14
    In, damn I didn't even see this.
    good luck, I'm probably doing "Pictures On The Wall", but it might change.
    test
  5. krisp

    krisp aka PhsyKris

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    kwel, i think im doing fear....g'luck
    test
  6. krisp

    krisp aka PhsyKris

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    TOPIC-FEAR
    A topic thats not touched ofen enough, its ruff
    but some people aint got the balls for this stuff
    Fear, Is walking outside and hearing an air raid siren
    You was just in the wrong place, you didn’t have good timin
    Fear can be seen at the bottom of a bottle of gin
    Or 1000 leagues under the sea with no oxygen
    Fear, can consume you and it can eat you alive
    Kill you inside, stop you from your everlasting climb
    Fear, is bein imprisoned in a 9 by 9 wall
    With no 1 to call, only reading your writings on the wall
    waiting to be freed, with a second chance at life
    or until you get meet by a funny looking man with a knife
    fear, is knowing cats in your neighbrohood want you dead
    so instead, of going outside, you lay in fear in bed
    fear, is being hunted, then shipped in the first wave
    to a hole new world just to become another slave
    fear, is being infected with a flesh eating disease
    first the amputate your arms then they go for your knees
    fear, seeps threw the body faster then blood threw vains
    it can be seen by your enemys, more visible then rain
    fear, is not making enough money to support your family
    watching your kids starve, and blackout periodically
    fear, can be a good distraction, or an immediate reaction
    it can make or break a faction, depends how its rationed
    fear, is getting into a fight in front of the hole school
    100’s of kids watch as you get mad a fucking fool
    fear, is triyng to make a living off selling trees
    but you can C, cause the cops are gaining rapidly
    they caught on to your operation, now you facin
    11 blue suits, whos skin colors are casion
    fear, is knowing that his versus is better for certain
    cause his rhymes twist and connect like letters in cursive..(echos)
    test
  7. <maven>

    <maven> Vice Versa

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2003
    Messages:
    14
    Pictures on the Wall
    Pale moonlight pierced into the blackness of the room
    giving just enough light. It can never be safe to assume
    that you will forget the past, times that never last
    and all those Kodak moments put me in a mental cast
    I look onto the card paper, and you smile back at me
    the light in your eyes enchants. I cannot joyously
    tear your smile in half, because you're up on the wall
    and like so many pin ups I will never let you fall
    because I don't want to forget the way you always smiled
    it's desirable at times. My memories have been defiled
    for a while, and when I think of you they rush right back
    picking out the negative parts. My 3rd eye has Cataracts
    I can't see deeper into the sinking depth of your mind
    These pictures on the wall leave my love for you undefined
    so I back away, to the very farthest side of the space
    because this chamber of despair is just emotion's disgrace
    "Why are you always so happy?!" you just keep smiling
    the other pictures blurr, while 911 I should be dialing
    I need help. I'm talking to an image caught of a time
    when you loved me too, acting emotions out in mime
    cause it was just a Sharade, just another party game
    cold spring water of your greed extinguished love's flame
    But theres a flame I can ignite, that will begin to spark
    this is one of cupid's arrows that definatly met it's mark
    so I raise the can of gas and soak your perpetual grin
    I watch it stream down the wall covering Fugifilm's kin
    Striking the match on my thigh, I toss it into the liquid
    the wall woofs into flame, slightly toasting my eyelids
    pictures curl and fall, this is a storm they cannot weather
    you smile melts instantly, a memory that is lost forever...
    Moral:
    except in my mind, I surprise myself to find
    that there were no pictures and no wall
    this was my emotional downfall
    You can never know what I do
    images don't matter, there was only you

    Peace
    test
  8. Resilient.

    Resilient. .. . ..

    Joined:
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    29,663
    .. ^ Over No Shows

    -Weez
    test
  9. Entrensical

    Entrensical still EXS and STC

    Joined:
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    9,366
    vote-maven


    just a better story

    a more pleasant read


    krisps was corny


    but its whatever
    test
  10. kaszmo

    kaszmo New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2003
    Messages:
    128
    vote- maven

    krisp:
    nice concept, i liked how u explained the word fear in all the different situations but the constand repetition made ur whole verse feel more like a poem and not a rapable verse, u know? the flow was there but here n there a bit choopy.. but overall u had a nice verse but to me it was more of a poem..

    maven:
    jus str8 up beautyful.. they way u set the whole story up already got my vote.. u always kept sumthin open, like i had to read it to the end cus i wanted to know who this person was.. even tho u never revealed her i still loved the ending it made me think.. u also kept ur flow up throught out the verse so u get my vote!

    nice battle
    test
  11. iceheart

    iceheart The Frozen Poet

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2003
    Messages:
    690
    Vote: Maven

    krisp's sounded like he wasn't exactly sure of how to use his vocabulary, while on the other hand maven just fit together like a puzzle. it wasn't perfect but it was better than krsips, and it had a better storyline to it. plus that little moral thing at the end didn't hurt - thought it was creative
    test
  12. DahLohner

    DahLohner Straight Up Un-Holy

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 1999
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    8,944
    Hmm..
    Krisp- Man that was awkward. you had ok flow, and some of your fear situations were cool..but the ending was just bad, and bitten I think (canibus)..oh well.

    Maven- GREAT story, lovely poetry all over this, it looked like a verse by that rapper from Linkin park tho in its ambiguousness, but it was compelling nevertheless.

    Vote-Maven

    IMOUT
    test
  13. Cereal_Killer

    Cereal_Killer no ESCAPE

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2002
    Messages:
    4,154
    vote = maven
    good job to both but mav just had an actual story not trying to explain what fear is, sorry i couldn't get into krisp but you had good flow and ok word play keep it up both of u.
    test
  14. Cocaine Charlie

    Cocaine Charlie shock aka solution

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2003
    Messages:
    126
    vote maven..

    i pretty much agree with what entrens said..M had a better verse..kept me more interested..
    test
  15. Omen

    Omen O Luh Da Kids

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    Jun 16, 2001
    Messages:
    21,912
    Maven wins 2-0

    Krisp Loss 1-3
    test
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