4 more weeks!!...

Discussion in 'Ladies Lounge' started by Konscious, Jul 25, 2006.

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  1. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    I have friends like that... most of them talk all that rah rah about being "soldiers" because they did it all "natural", but then complain about the agonizing hours of pain they had to endure... and then go on to say that they actually had requested medication but had gotten to the hospital too far into their labor for the doctor to allow them to have it, for safety issues. So that "natural" birth wasn't even by choice for them, they had to "tough it out" by default.

    Like I said, we all had the same end result [though my labors & delieveries were shorter than almost all of my friends'], I just got to my destination a lot more comfortably.

    In general, I don't care either way when I hear women say that... I don't really understand the logic behind it, but they're certainly entitled to knock themselves out [and believe me, they'll certainly want to!] if thats their choice. If they derive some heightened sense of spirituality or whateverever else from the experience... more power to 'em. As long as they don't come at me with all that self-righteous babble, we're all good.
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  2. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    That's exactly how I see it. Some people think "natural" childbirth makes you a better, stronger person... I say that's a crock.

    Imagine a rather sizeable mass trying to pass through the head of your penis, stretching and tearing the tissue at your urethral opening, possibly even necessitating an incision to help facilitate the passage [see: episiotomy]... and this possibly going on for 30 minutes to an hour, on average.

    And that's just the delivery...

    Imagine all of that being preceeded by approximately 13 hours [the average labor period for a woman's first childbirth] of periods of intense cramping and hardening of your stomach, usually lasting about 60 seconds, recurring every 3 minutes, and intensifying as the labor progresses. And imagine not even being able to relax or focus on anything else inbetween contractions, b/c you knew that about two minutes later another one was sure to come along, more painful than the last. And then, after all that, having to have the energy to "bear down" and push the child out [see delivery details, above].

    I remember at one point during labor with one of my kids, before I got the epidural, asking my mother to take a bat and hit me in the head with it, hoping she could knock me unconscious. And I sincerely meant it.

    So, to go through all that when I have the option not to? Nah. No thanks. You be a "soldier". I'll be chillin, watching Fresh Prince of Bel Air, like I did last time, conserving my energy for when I'll really need it...once I get home and have a newborn child to care for.
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  3. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    Being that you're not a woman, I don't think you're qualified to make that statement.

    I don't believe in drugs, so I don't take medicine for any type of aches or sickness.

    But I do believe in the good, good herb.

    That's conjecture... and once again, you're not a woman, so how would you know this? Have you ever talked to a woman who went through natural childbirth?

    Tights knows that I always ask questions like these to challenge conventions and gain different perspectives.

    They're no different from the other questions I've asked in this forum since the beginning.
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  4. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    So you feel that women are being self-righteous when they advocate natural childbirth? Or is it just in their approach to you? Do they look down on others who opt for intervention and/or drugs?
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  5. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    I sense a little defensiveness here with this statement, so I won't even entertain the rest of your post. I understand that issues such as childbirth and parenting are sensitive and highly charged with emotion. I'm not here to judge you or any woman who has taken alternative routes for delivery. I was simply asking questions so that I could get a feel of what to expect since I will be assisting my wife when she delivers.
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  6. lol, it has absolutely nothing to do with being a man or a woman. I can tell you that the 'pain' of childbirth has nothing to do with the child's well being. However, I welcome a resonable answer to why it should make a difference to the child.

    Good for you, soldier. If I get a bad headache I take paracetamol. And by herb, I gather you're not talking about rosemary or thyme flower suppliment.

    yea, perhaps it is conjecture, but hey, I've never heard a good reason why a woman should go through the pain for the sake of the baby. And yes, I've talked to a woman who went through a natural childbirth..My mum...But when My sister was in labour and she wanted something to numb the pain, my mum didnt say 'hey but what about the baby' she was fine with it.
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  7. lol, that was mild for tights..dont mistake keepin it real for defensive/offensiveness....thats just how she rides.
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  8. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    I don't believe all or even most wo/men who support "natural" childbirth are self-righteous, but there are some who act as if their personal choice is superior and try to force that agenda onto other people.

    The ones I mentioned above do, yes.
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  9. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    Thats not defensiveness you're detecting, that's just how I speak sometimes when I don't feel like being PC. Straight up - no chaser, baby.

    You asked my opinion and I was honest. I take that "rite of passage" bit as an expression of superstition or even folklore, and I don't buy into it... I think it's a falsehood... it just doesn't make sense to me.

    As far as the "emotional" bit... give me a break, K. That's not what's going on here.
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  10. tight-eyes

    tight-eyes Such a F*cking Lady!

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    You know me so well. LOL!

    Sometimes I take the time to tone my language down and make it more palatable, but for the two of you I don't feel like I have to do that.
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  11. Hidden_Poetry

    Hidden_Poetry New Member

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    Awww Congrats!

    My first wasn't natural. I mean, I was 17 I was yelling for them to give me the morephine (sp) to take the pain away. I was even falling asleep while I was pushing haha. But after I had my son, it sucked. Because I couldn't remember MOST of my labour. Because I did take the drugs. I mean, it was still joyus. Don't get me wrong. But I wanted to be able to go through it all telling details. Instead of someone else telling me what was going on.

    However, with my second. 2yrs later. I decided I was going in there and giving it a shot at all natural. Which I did. What got me through and what I've told a few friends. Is I went in there not thinking about the pain. Not thinking about anything but holding my baby. What it was going to be like having my lil one in my arms. And I'm dead serious focusing on that got me through the labour and birth. 10hrs of labour and my lil Isaac Jacob was born ;o) 9lbs 14oz mind you, but he was born in good health and I remember EVERYTHING that happened. Everything. I mean right down to feeling the burn lol :/ But it was the best experience I"ve EVER had in my life.

    Labour is great. It's such an emotional time. My husband was AWESOME! Both times. First time he was nervous as hell, we were young. So my mom was more of my support. But second time, we had a moment lol. As cheesy as that is. It was awesome. Weird how we just connected more so at that moment then we ever have. THe look in his eyes was just amazing. It was great.

    Gosh I love hearing when ppl get to experience child birth!!! :eek:) GOOD LUCK!
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  12. K Senior

    K Senior Lyrical Great White

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    my oldest is a boy, and my other two are girls

    i love them to death but it would have been easier if i had all boys. i wouldn't have to worry about protectin them against no good dudes like me.
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  13. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    Great... mind over matter... it's a very powerful tool.

    There are monks out in the far east that can concentrate well enough to heat towels in the snow using just their body heat.

    So the experience for you was transcendent?
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  14. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    Well, you got the oldest boy who can help you protect them... I think it's all about having that close relationship with your daughters, because you can't be too strict... or else they go to college and become "famous." Parenting has got to be the hardest job in the world. I know if I have a girl, though, she ain't datin' at no 13... forget that noise.
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  15. samii so sexii

    samii so sexii ..sunkist siren..

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    whenever I have children, I actually want to feel the pain. I want to at least try and deliver the baby naturally before I opt for the drugs. That is something that you'll never truly get until you feel it you know, because it feels different to everyone. But I have a low threshold for pain, so I know I'm going to request the drugs lol....I just want to try and be a "soldier" and take it like a woman before I punk out lol jp


    you know what I would like to try? a water birth. I saw a woman deliver her baby in a hospital, but it was in like a whirpool type thing (Discovery Health Channel lol)...no drugs, no screaming, no pain, no problems, happy baby. It's still natural, and water has a quality that relaxes you. I'd love to experience that, but i doubt i ever would.
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  16. K Senior

    K Senior Lyrical Great White

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    for real, having that balance is the hardest thing about it. you don't know how strict to be, you don't know how much to restrict what they are exposed to. 13? yeah right. that'll never happen, i don't care if it's too strict or not.

    i'm more of an old school parent anyway, more of the let them find it out on their own, but always be right there to guide them if they need it type. don't get me wrong, i'm always aware of what my children are doing and if they ask for help they get it, but i think you need to let kids be kids and learn shit the "hard way" sometimes.

    good luck bro, i have a feeling you will be alright.
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  17. Konscious

    Konscious Resident Sage

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    From what I learning in this class and from other mothers who have given birth naturally, the body produces endorphins ('feel good' hormones) during labor and delivery, when if relaxed, helps to ease the pain of contractions and pushing. In other words, there are "natural drugs" that can help if you allow your body and mind to get into that relaxed state.
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  18. so now its mind over matter? I bet its hard to relax when ya pushing something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a golfball
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  19. Hidden_Poetry

    Hidden_Poetry New Member

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    It apparently worked for me :eek:)
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  20. CharmSmoker

    CharmSmoker Illest RM Poster

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    Congratulations on your gift man, you are soo lucky when I was 18 fresh out of high school I had got my girl knocked up, we decided to have an abortion so we can go to college and have a life the worst decision I've ever made man, now I got an Associates Degree in IT Networking and make about 50,000 a year and I really regret that, even though I got money and a deluxe apt I wish we was still broke and had the baby now I don't have her or the baby I kick myself in the ass everyday, congratulations man and I wish you the best on fatherhood
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