29. Copywritten Vs 30. Nebethian

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Nebz, Sep 14, 2003.

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  1. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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    [​IMG]



    VERSES DUE Wednesday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST
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    GO FOR IT!!!
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  2. Adolf Spitler

    Adolf Spitler I am homo hear me roar

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  3. Adolf Spitler

    Adolf Spitler I am homo hear me roar

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    ok, im going to start writing now, but, if you make me write a whole verse, and then not show, you will officially be a newbie faggot
    test
  4. Adolf Spitler

    Adolf Spitler I am homo hear me roar

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    8 Insanity
    You’re being pursued by the police for a murder you did not commit. Who was the real killer? Why have you been framed? Who got killed? How do you avoid capture AND manage to clear your name from wrong-doing??



    hooray then
    test
  5. Copywritten

    Copywritten Copy Me

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    test
  6. Copywritten

    Copywritten Copy Me

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    6 Insanity
    On the eve of your wedding night you come home to find… you’re best friend and your fiancée both naked, dead… in each others’ arms. WTF happened and tell your thoughts.
    test
  7. Adolf Spitler

    Adolf Spitler I am homo hear me roar

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    You’re being pursued by the police for a murder you did not commit. Who was the real killer? Why have you been framed? Who got killed? How do you avoid capture AND manage to clear your name from wrong-doing??






    Siryns,tires screamin,head thumpin,i've really caused quite a muck
    Lien to my self and my self esteem, why am i runnin?..just my luck
    That I've landed myself in this position, i'm actually innocent-
    For the first time and I find myself running like some de-generate
    I probably should just pull over,lay out the situation in a whole
    To be honest they'll shoot first and rather put my head on a pole

    My mind races what happen...door opens, shes laying there dead-
    I hear siryns,instead of helping they wanna lock me up instead
    It wasnt me I swear it, I was miles away, im along for the ride
    What was she doing with our neighbour, was she seeing him on the side?
    She said they just liked to bike, and I had no reason to not beleive
    Now as they both lay dead on my kitchen floor I see Ive been deceived
    What was really happening when they met their end? was it intimate?
    Or was it just a friendly gathering...totally common and innocent
    Not like it really matters now, they're both gone and Im a 'killer'
    The details are sketchy and I apologize, most of this rambling is just filler-
    For the real story who's plot I dont know, all I know is this gas wont last-
    Forever, we'll have to stop sometime and when we do they'll be on me
    Panicking and sweating, acception, i dont see a way out in all honesty
    Seeing my tank, a pinky away from empty, I'm thinkin about life behind bars
    If I get off, wont be the same, my love is gone, leaving me emotional scars
    My life is over, ended in an instant, the fact that Ive eluded police amazes-
    me, wonder why I even try, I'll never get away, I bring myself to face this
    As I pull off the road I think to myself, my chances of parole...not good
    Comparing the facts of what I'm going to do and what i really should
    Thinking 'Hey, everything happens for a reason, maybe this is god sent'
    And as they hurl me to the ground I have one thing to say-
    'Call the lawyer, the name's cochran'​





    copywritten likes young boys
    test
  8. Adolf Spitler

    Adolf Spitler I am homo hear me roar

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    i hope you show...seriously
    test
  9. Copywritten

    Copywritten Copy Me

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    test
  10. Copywritten

    Copywritten Copy Me

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    8 Insanity
    You’re being pursued by the police for a murder you did not commit. Who was the real killer? Why have you been framed? Who got killed? How do you avoid capture AND manage to clear your name from wrong-doing??


    It all started out, got lost in the wrong neigborhood
    The stakes weren't good, So I knew I wouldn't escape the hood
    Fate had stood, when these doods came up askin' questions
    So I taught these 3 fags a lesson, stealin' their crack and screwin' up their back complexions
    Sprinted, track trekin', so they didn't see the cab that I had left in
    Threw out my hidden weapon, my smith and wesson
    Took the police a while to find me, lookin' in the wrong direction
    Drove by the places Tracy's momma slept in', kids in the window flexin'
    Checken their reflection, when just then, it led to deppression
    Hopped out the door, from the left end, asks for a minute, just for a blessin',
    Wouldn't believe what happened next and, well, the unthinkable occurred
    They handcuffed me, and I was carefully observed
    This the man who did it? Hell, yeah, I'm pretty sure
    The root taken was neverending, on a non-stop city tour
    I felt it, my kidneys tore, I felt sick, the feelin's back in'
    My nerves were rackin, thought about me leavin' 3 children...
    And them havin' their dad deceased, I know I didn't kill the men
    After they got healthy, I was goin' to go back and kill them then
    But I heard the story, someone went back and shot them
    Story was told, they didn't know, but they thought that I got em
    Non-stop around the clock, cops was bossin'
    For something I didn't do, fell a victim to the mobs in Boston
    While still, causin' problems when the slobs was flossin'
    Salad was tossin', I couldn't believe the bitch did this,
    I hid in bliss, knew I was gettin' this
    Give this man a hand, Chris, and dismissed my hypnotist

    Bahhh, keyed in 5 minutes, forgot about this
    test
  11. Papa_Smurf

    Papa_Smurf Junior Jedi

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    Both were pretty good, my vote however goes to Gimick, he had a better story and flow to his, both were pretty good though

    Vote:Gimmick

    Peace
    test
  12. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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    Up over No shows
    test
  13. Adolf Spitler

    Adolf Spitler I am homo hear me roar

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    fat ass hooray for a 1-0 lead
    test
  14. Adolf Spitler

    Adolf Spitler I am homo hear me roar

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    test
  15. Copywritten

    Copywritten Copy Me

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    test
  16. MC4SiGHT

    MC4SiGHT JOE COMMiSSO

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    vote-gimick
    overall bettery story and better imagery...some of copywrittenss bars seem strechted and his verse wasnt as orignal as gimicks
    test
  17. DahLohner

    DahLohner Straight Up Un-Holy

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    Word..

    Gimmick- Nice verse, the flow was just ugly, shorten the bars or try some interrhyming or do SOMETHING, but that was awkward, other than that tho, the verse is jampacked with imagery, and the story moved along at a somewhat brisk pace.

    Copywritten- luv ya flow, jus work on those storytelling skills and you could be the next big name around here.. ending was interesting, but you didn't transition into it well. some interesting details thruout, but not as creative as your opponent.

    Vote-Gimmick

    IMOUT
    test
  18. Copywritten

    Copywritten Copy Me

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    Thanks DL, nice verse Gimick. I just wish I got to take my time on this. =)
    test
  19. Alias Breaker

    Alias Breaker New Member

    Joined:
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    Nice match up here. I liked both stories. copy nice flow, decent story. gimick, i remember thinkin part way thru is this gonna be oj. lol cool ending with the cochran thing. i liked u'r story a lil better than copys thats why i'm givin gim the nod. the hypnotist thing was straight, but kind of like the easy twist(way) out i felt. Vote- gimick for a better story, with the better ending. copy was dope too though. pz
    test
  20. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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    Nebthian/Camber-Wins
    Copywritten-Losses
    test
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