27. J Rocca Vs 28. Papa Smurf

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Nebz, Sep 14, 2003.

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  1. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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    test
  2. J Rocca

    J Rocca New Member

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    topic is:fuck the old one...i like this one better

    You're alone in your house, because your mother and father have gone out, and left you in charge. You are watching music on the TV, when the door rings. You answer it, but there's no one there. Slightly angered, you just disregard it and think that it was those little 8 year old bastards knocking your door and running off to annoy you. But, the door rings again, this time, you open it and there is a box on your doorstep. You pick it up and bring it inside. You set it on the table and open it, but it is empty. Suddenly, the door slams behind you, and the curtains close shut. The portrait photograph of you on the wall falls to the floor and shatters and behind it says your name> iT'S WRITTEN IN BLOOD..
    test
  3. Papa_Smurf

    Papa_Smurf Junior Jedi

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    Topic: Since he changed his, mine is still "You are badly beaten, cut up, and naked in a garbage dumpster, you are barely coherant, how did you get here, what are you thinking?" or something along those lines

    Good luck.

    Peace
    test
  4. J Rocca

    J Rocca New Member

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    "DING DONG"....who the fuck is this
    nobody was there..."aww i'am missing 50's new video for this bullshit"
    lil kids better quick fuckin playin with me
    "DING DONG".....open the door pissed...but theres a package for me
    take it in the kitchen and open this shit up
    then i hear the door open.....then shut
    turn around quick....and the blinds are closed
    i can tell someones in hear b/c i can hear the ruffling of their clothes
    come around to the den...and i see 3 figures staring back at me
    tried to run out the backdoor...and they catch me
    one of them pulls out a gun and pistol whoops my ass
    blackout then wake up...i don't know how much time has passed
    tied down with my hands taped behind my back
    one of them pulls back out the gat
    they didn't say anything...just held the gun to my head
    one of them said we not gonna kill you yet...we gonna torture you instead
    get his knife out....and the other spread out my hand
    line the knifeup with my finger...while i'am yelling..."please don't do this man"
    slams the knife threw all 5 of my fingers...i'am in disbelief
    they all laughing....telling jokes about how i can't beat my meat
    one of them says its time to get this shit over.....lets kill him now
    they askin me am i ready to die and how
    take out the gun and says good bye and i hope jesus gives you a good home
    cocks the gun...and blow off my fuckin dome
    test
  5. J Rocca

    J Rocca New Member

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    test
  6. Papa_Smurf

    Papa_Smurf Junior Jedi

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    I just read the "All matches due Thursday night post"

    Here's my ish, Enjoy.

    Laying naked, cut up in a dumpster, damn yo what happened/
    Barely coherant, hard to breathe, I must have been scrappin/
    I remember I was rapping... verbally attacking/
    Battling on the corner, against a cat named Blood Donor/
    Told him that I loved his mom, and that I owned her/
    Told him that she hopped in the rover, I took her home and boned her/
    He must have been offended, cause my life had almost ended/
    He grabbed a razor his boy has lended, so I defended/
    What my mind had rendered, seemed to have been a sideswipe/
    I figured his mans might, jump me from behind, so I took flight/
    Now I'm down the block, a half a dozen people after me/
    Even people on the blocks now are hastling me/
    They all harrasing me, asking me, what's the matter g/
    My clothes are tattered see, and I'm hustling in spite of Asthma/
    Was always a quick runner, my forearms oozing plasma/
    My head is cut as well, from the few punches they got in/
    I managed to escape thanks to steady weave and blockin/
    My block is, just 10 more blocks away, barreta spray/
    I'm ducking, damn this isn't my day, I need to get away/
    I cut into the alley, the wrong move, I ran into the wrong dudes/
    Now stick up kids jackin my wallet, running my pockets/
    Took my highschool ring, my hat, and my girls favorite locket/
    Snatchin at the most precious item, all I did was invite them/
    In fact all I did was spite em, they began wreckin my vitals/
    Took the keys to my house, said they would steal my vinyls/
    Stomped me into the ground, I heard a crack in the spinal/
    And Just when I thought it was hopeless, along comes a homeless/
    Put my T and shorts in a blue bag, stole my boxers and do rag/
    And sport in like he bought it, I couldn't have fought it/
    Along come Blood Donor, saw me and smiled "Look at that bustah"/
    His boys stomped me some more, and then I went in the dumpster.../
    But that isn't the end of the story! At this point I'm still knocked out/
    But I can still remember the sounds, although the sights are blocked out/
    I musta been there for days, I felt the garbage pile on top, heard the gnats/
    Heard the flies, felt the maggots, managed to fight off the rats/
    Feeling broken wood from a tossed chair stab me in the back/
    Felt the sting in my hand from the thrust of a dozen rusty tacks/
    Felt as my whole body went in the air, in utter despair/
    Felt the wizz of the truck, as I fell even worse in my luck/
    Felt as the truck stopped and went, trash shifting around/
    Felt all the rats and maggots try to escape, sifting around/
    Trash truly is another mans treasure, old food would feed me/
    Entertained myself, breaking up J Rocca's tossed away CD/
    I began to look back at my life, I wouldn't die an old man/
    And at this point I wouldn't mind switching places with Coleman/
    Gary that is, as scary that is, I'm buried that is/
    I can smell old pizza, wet fur, and stagnating piss/
    And I'm in so much pain, the wieght shifts on all the hills/
    Getting by, during my time, with thrown away prescription pills/
    Then the final destination, I almost feel blessed that I made it/
    Maybe the furnace they throw the trash in will rid me of this fate kid/
    But to my astonishment, the trash I was thrown in was owned kid/
    By a recycling company, that happens to be based where my home is/
    The downside is it has wait in line before people can search the remainders/
    So instead of being burned, it's dumped in a sealed steel container...
    test
  7. NAX

    NAX Bring the Pain.

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    papa ripped this one. pretty dope story, good ending, flow was alright too. although the mutlis become monotonous in the story.

    roccas was too short, and you could've done more w/ the story. you were hinting at someone killing you, or perhaps suicide but it could've been developed more.

    good battle guys, but papa killed this one.
    vote = papa.
    test
  8. Papa_Smurf

    Papa_Smurf Junior Jedi

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    test
  9. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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    test
  10. Adolf Spitler

    Adolf Spitler I am homo hear me roar

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    this was absolute rape


    j roccas bars were stretched, story was decent at best, poor vocab and absolute no flow, if you want to contend in this league you have to develop your writing style man...


    Vote= Papa Smurf
    test
  11. MC4SiGHT

    MC4SiGHT JOE COMMiSSO

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    J rocca story was terrible, no real structure at all and rhyme scheme just had me turning away...bad flow...

    I wasnt feeling papa smurf's verse much either, the story wasnt very good, but it flowed and had better structure, and just better overall everything...

    vote-papa smurf
    test
  12. WWIII

    WWIII Guest

    papa's dope

    J Rocca - You could have developed the story a little better. It was kind of short. Although length doesn't always mean something. It still just lacked some things.

    Papa Smurf - NICE verse, very well written. I enjoyed it throughout. I liked the ending, lol. The line about breaking up your opponents cd was funny too.Just a more entertaining verse. You get the nod.

    Vote - Papa Smurf
    test
  13. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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    Papa Smurf-wins
    J Rocca-Losses
    test
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