23. HighpawTheCyst 1-0 Vs 24. Desenuts 7-4

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Nebz, Sep 23, 2003.

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  1. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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    [​IMG]



    VERSES DUE Wednesday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST
    VOTES DUE Saturday 10:00am PACIFIC/1:00pm EST


    Get Your Topics
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?threadid=642549

    LINE LIMIT:
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    16 lines - MINIMAL
    60 lines - MAXIMAL


    VOTING:
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    No 2nd Chance Votes


    YOU MUST MUST MUST -- POST YOUR URL'S OF ALL THE BATTLES YOU VOTED ON HERE IN YOUR OWN THREAD..

    VOTE ON 6 BATTLES!!!!!

    FAILURE TO DO SO RESULTS IN 3 VOTE SUBTRACTION!!!


    if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!!



    GO FOR IT!!!
    test
  2. HighPawTheCyst

    HighPawTheCyst New Member

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    test
  3. Desenut§

    Desenut§ Lean mean nuttin machine!

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    check-bloke! and good luck..
    test
  4. HighPawTheCyst

    HighPawTheCyst New Member

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    test
  5. HighPawTheCyst

    HighPawTheCyst New Member

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    15. Apartheid

    It's 1968 in August, my name's Jason Hodges
    and im a victim to the hate an many racial comments
    it's everyday the harsh reality decays my conscience
    so i state a promise to myself that i'll remain as calm as
    i can, but i cant if im in a state of wrong it's
    like the pain's a false display of art opague to make me vomit
    see the base of honesty is based upon the ways we draw it
    but the rage is falling at a rate unwanted fate's uncomplished
    i sit and wait but politics pollute our mind with laws
    and since im african american then i apply to all
    see im quite alive but flaws are what the whites have tried to toss
    cause in there eyes we're not equivalent and put our lives on pause
    to live deprives us all, but i believe that peace will levatate
    and then decrease the segregation sending me to hesitate
    and keep a weapon placed with me beneathe my leather cape
    i breathe and yes i make a leap for death then i awake
    to be free's inept and vauge, i hate it cause i see the light
    but wish to see the whites and blacks together like a zebra's stripes
    preachers write, we the people, demons fight releasing evil
    even whites repreive a sequel, see it's like bereavements equal
    to a night of dreams so lethal that is causes most to immitate
    their inner state on how they really feel and then the shit just drapes
    in a dismal place topicaly it all begins with race
    and the skin you shade is reasons why these peeps discriminate
    this is fate, this is war, kids are placed with rapport
    when your race, is a mobrid , interstate to the morgue
    it's discrace, it's a force, mixed with rage, the report
    gives us haste intercourse, in a way it's support
    when we make different forms of life, a child mixed creates
    then black and white populations just unite and intergrate
    but thats many years away and it's unrighteous anyway
    i would like to demonstrate, but it's just 1968
    so as life begins to fade, i just sit and hope for change
    and jot my thoughts inside my journal clogging every open page
    it's only fate, stuff'll change, im only 8, but my age
    strolls my brain and sufficates, my soul's enslaved because of race
    an ugly face this is the racism it really needs to stop
    cause it's leading us to not acheiving peace within out blocks
    color schemes'll seem to drop, and all indecentcy'll hault
    they say that only time can tell though, so we all just need a watch


    test
  6. Desenut§

    Desenut§ Lean mean nuttin machine!

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    DAMNITT I thought this was due thursday.. well count it or don't.. but i'm putting up a verse regardles.. I'm sorry hyp.. your choice as to whether it counts..

    11. A conversation with God

    Dear Father,
    You can walk on water.. so answer this..
    why can't you make temptations state a little harder to resist..
    I try so hard to hit the mark but miss.. perfections blessins out of reach..
    I could never walk the road he walked... to calvery.. with two left feet..
    and so I struggle through this sleep.. feeling lifeless in desire..
    knowing in my heart of hearts.. I'm doomed to feel the devils fire..
    at the thought my skin perspires.. picture flames and cracking flesh..
    blackened blood set to boiling as my hands melt off my wrists..
    then I shudder back to this.. and in the end... is it much better?
    So I've chosen to cast this prayer.. to the winds.. upon this letter..
    If you don't answer Lord.. I'll severe.. give up and cease this plight..
    cuz I feel I've paid my dues.. PLUS this lease on life..

    he folds the pieces right.. and sets to flight his souls request
    as he slowly turns away with smoldering hope and feels the cold breeze soft carress
    a voice calls from his breast..


    .....................................Am I still so far away?
    I've been here all along.. through each step of the way..
    forget footsteps in sand.. my plan has played a greater part..
    for when you accepted my sacrifice.. I took my place here in your heart...
    I've seen your endless struggles.. the pain when daddy died..
    The nights your momma left for sex n drugs.. as you hid your head and cried..
    I gave what warmth I could provide.. though you never noticed me..
    I wasn't so far away.. I was as close as close could be...
    take hope in what you see.. I forgive.. I understand..
    and in this world of sin.. theres bound to be those circumstance
    that rip you from your stance.. of how you think you ought to be..
    but the only thing I truly ask.. is that you keep your thoughts on me...


    His words melted all my grief.. and my head rose up in pride...
    for I finally understood.. the Truth I held inside...
    I'm never good enough... though I should try my best.. no doubt..
    but Jesus loves me regardless... from the inside out..
    test
  7. HighPawTheCyst

    HighPawTheCyst New Member

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    you cool, verses weren't due til SAT, but im glad you posted, i would've let it count anyway i hate win by default bull shit, props on the verse, ( 1 )
    test
  8. NAX

    NAX Bring the Pain.

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2002
    Messages:
    186
    2 more real nice verses.
    high had a tough subject to tackle but actually made it read very polished and relevant. the story of jason was going well until you got to this point:

    to a night of dreams so lethal that is causes most to immitate
    their inner state on how they really feel and then the shit just drapes
    in a dismal place topicaly it all begins with race
    and the skin you shade is reasons why these peeps discriminate
    this is fate, this is war, kids are placed with rapport
    when your race, is a mobrid , interstate to the morgue
    it's discrace, it's a force, mixed with rage, the report
    gives us haste intercourse, in a way it's support
    when we make different forms of life, a child mixed creates
    then black and white populations just unite and intergrate
    but thats many years away and it's unrighteous anyway

    right there you kind of got away from the story and started to preach a little bit, then later on you got right back on track. that just kind of messed up your actual story, but not the topic.


    dese dropped a good verse, better then demiks version imo. chock full of alliteration and very well-written in the first person. you never really faltered on making the story not only simple for the readers but also stayed on point scheme and flow wise.

    i personally think dese got this one, only by a few nuts though. great battle guys.

    vote = dese
    test
  9. Jon T. Fogelman

    Jon T. Fogelman holla at ya boy

    Joined:
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    668
    dese had a real nice flow and rhythym going to his topic, the story all gelled together and didnt fall off for a second, high was good, but was kinda choppy flow and story wise


    Vote= Desenuts
    test
  10. TeKneeK

    TeKneeK The Heart and Soul of RM

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    test
  11. LDogg The King

    LDogg The King The High Life

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    16,941
    i really liked high paws story.. it was somthing differnt which i like to see.. and what i mean by differnt im talkin bout the flow, it went real nice to guide the verse... nuts, you have a great story.. really got into reading it.. but i just didnt get into it as much as i did high paws..

    great match

    vote high paw the cyst

    good luck to you both on winning!
    test
  12. WiSDoM

    WiSDoM I t0k yer wifes virginity

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 1999
    Messages:
    4,300
    My vote goes to Highpaw, he had a dope story, was very consistent in the flow of it, and overall he had the better content in his verse...

    Desenuts had a nice verse as well..but to me it seemed rushed, kind of seemed a little simplistic...but i dont know..thas just mah opinion..good battle y'all..but my vote goes to HighPaw


    vote= HighPawTheCyst

    peace
    test
  13. Den-S

    Den-S .:.The Chosen One.:.

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2003
    Messages:
    854
    vote- Highpaw TheCyst

    He had the better flow and really ripped a tough topic...had nice multis and vocab, and his imagery was nice...Desenuts had a dope drop, but I felt HTC got this cuz he had the harder topic and managed to just kill it, he made it look simple...

    dope battle from both...

    g'luck
    test
  14. Tha Talent

    Tha Talent , Tha Master.

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2002
    Messages:
    3,588
    Desenuts -
    it seems like you have talent in the writing department, but you looked at this topic in such a plain way.
    you just wrote about a conversation with God
    when you really should have done more
    it would have helped if you had more wordplay and creative lines or great rhyme scheme
    but you didn't.

    Hypothesis -
    your flow just was killer by the middle of the verse.
    you really showed some knowledge
    and you had some very well worded lines
    it would have been nice if you had stuck to the story a little more
    but its alright
    i'm impressed
    i'd like to see what you can do when you actually find a storyline you want to develop fully

    vote=HighPawTheCyst
    test
  15. Gummo

    Gummo New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2002
    Messages:
    12,311
    vote: hptc

    def had more of a story that i lean too, dese story just turned me off completely for some reason, both had some decent points in each story, but high had the most consistentncy(sp),flow, structure, content.. period.

    nice job tho.. pz
    test
  16. Papa_Smurf

    Papa_Smurf Junior Jedi

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2003
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    400
    A hard decision in this case, both came with pretty good verses, and both shined enough to win this one, but I was just feeling hptc's verse more.

    Vote:Htpc
    test
  17. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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    HighPaw Wins
    test
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