21. Nabethian 1-0 Vs 22. Konvikt 6-1

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Nebz, Sep 23, 2003.

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  1. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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    [​IMG]



    VERSES DUE Wednesday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST
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    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?threadid=642549

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    YOU MUST MUST MUST -- POST YOUR URL'S OF ALL THE BATTLES YOU VOTED ON HERE IN YOUR OWN THREAD..

    VOTE ON 6 BATTLES!!!!!

    FAILURE TO DO SO RESULTS IN 3 VOTE SUBTRACTION!!!


    if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!!



    GO FOR IT!!!
    test
  2. KonviKt

    KonviKt Jonny Punchline

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2001
    Messages:
    21,784
    Innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

    g'luck Spency:)

    test
  3. KonviKt

    KonviKt Jonny Punchline

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2001
    Messages:
    21,784
    I'm ready whenever you are

    test
  4. KonviKt

    KonviKt Jonny Punchline

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2001
    Messages:
    21,784
    14. Sitting on the seashore...

    [size=1.5]As I sit along the beach, I see impressions of feet before me...
    Differant sizes, large and small, each one with a unique story...
    Like these right here...probably of a young boy and his father...
    The closeness shows slowness and that's where the boy walked harder...
    After the dad told him that him and his mom were getting divored...
    Then the boy got pissed and asked him why he was hitting her for...
    "I love your mother, son, but she just can't keep her trap shut...
    That's the main reason that she repeatedly gets smacked up...
    This divorce isn't your fault...you know that we both love you, dearly...
    And I get that special tingle inside...everytime I hug you near me..."
    "But Dad, I'm sure things could be work out...wait, maybe you're jokin?
    Cause if I can't have you both together, than I'm headin for the ocean...
    Life ain't worth living without you and Mom together in it, Daddy...
    Screw it...I know this is for real. I'm outta here...and don't try to catch me..."
    "No, son! WAIT!" And with that said...Johnny kicked his father and took off...
    The man couldn't move...he could stand there and look with shook awe...
    His body was frozen as his son ran, then stopped and walked softly in the ocean...
    Then he dropped to his knees and little Johnny passed....coughing and choking...

    But enough about those...lets take a look another set of heels and toes...
    More than likely a young couple...judging by how those two heels are close...
    Walking hand-and-hand...talking as they walk through the chalky sand...
    Going over their future together, and how much they saved in the coffee can...
    They wanna raise a happy man...2 kids, a dog, and a two-story house and a car...
    Fenced in property, where they can have friends over and cook out in the yard...
    And if you look right there...it looks like their feet tangled and mixed together...
    That's foreshadowing and what might happen if they rush into livin together...
    Things happen too fast....life could take either one of them faster than that...
    Or they might go into debt quick...and have to beg around...askin for cash...
    Teenage love can be romantic...but they never think about the road ahead...
    It's sad...they are only concerned with their current mode, instead...
    This is only a theory about what these two were saying today...
    But look closely...and notice the footprints slowly fade away...

    Directly to you're left you'll see a pair in an unlikely position...
    Two best friends...one is ²²²ish and the other is a Christian...
    But as they stroll the beachside, they don't let religion blind them...
    As long as they both feel comfortable with each other beside him...
    The mighty Lord will provide them...with safety and security...
    They don't look at each other as an unequal or an impurity...
    You can see the footprints speed up as they take part in a friendly race...
    At a manly pace, they finish at a tie...then sit and chill at a sandy place...
    They talk about differant things...like sports, music, and happenings at school...
    Laughing and joking...rolling around in the sand, straight acting a fool...
    Not worried about "clappin the tool"...just two friends kickin it...
    They say "Live Life to the Fullest"...and to the fullest is how they're livin it...

    Now there's different examples of feet...three differant situations in life...
    Three things to think about if you ever begin to start hating your life...
    Life could be a lot worse...and life could always get better, believe me...
    As long as you put you're faith in me and never try to decieve me...
    Cuz as I sit here, watching people create a new story in the smooth sand...
    I feel comfortable the one day that will be joining me in the New Land...
    These are my children, and I will continue to co-write their life stories...
    As long as they continue to be rightous and live their lives for me...

    As I sit along the beach, I see impressions of feet before me...
    Differant sizes, large and small, each one with a unique story...[/size]

    bada bing...

    test
  5. DemiK

    DemiK does his own stunts

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2001
    Messages:
    239
    i have sex with young boys
    test
  6. DemiK

    DemiK does his own stunts

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2001
    Messages:
    239
    19. 1 step before death on the brinks of Suicide
    test
  7. DemiK

    DemiK does his own stunts

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2001
    Messages:
    239
    19. 1 step before death on the brinks of Suicide



    How did all this happen? All of a sudden it just fell apart
    No job, no wife, no family left, my life is over, I can tell from my heart
    And the pain that im feeling, this cant be anything else
    This is the end of the road, My life is over, and I shall take it myself
    The walls just fell in on me, there's no shambles left to gather
    Given the option of wandering pathetic on earth, no i'd rather-
    Take my own life in dignity than live as a broke man
    See, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, let me lay this out, so you see where i stand



    At first it started little, you know, the inconveniences we all face
    Followed by the snow ball effect that led to the rest of my decay, my fall from grace
    And now I lay before the word, crumbled and lonely, a shell of my former self
    But as I lay here on the top of the 30 stories, it's obvious what the future tells
    Wind in my air I think of the things that I once had..and lost
    Things that I let go, that i neglected, the worth of my life..what it cost
    And it makes me realize I was selfish my whole life, this is my momment of truth
    I've always had a battle with reality, and now I give in..I guess that I lost
    I tried to hard to make it better...but hey, we all gotta go some day
    But some will go un-expected, some will plead for mercy, I will go the decent way
    Accepting your fate, that is truely what death is all about
    I s'pose the scary part is, i actually beleive the words coming from my mouth
    I beleive that my life is through, this is the only way out
    That i will never find love again, never be able to take a spouse


    Well thats all of it, my state of mind, now you stepped into my shoes
    You see my dillema and can understand why I have to do what Im about to
    But in my final minutes on earth, Ive grasped we cant control certain things
    And understand that the world does not revolve around us human beings
    So as I take my last steps, I kiss this world goodbye, and begin to fly without wings
    test
  8. DemiK

    DemiK does his own stunts

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2001
    Messages:
    239
    welll there you go, i had work,so this is what i came up wityh, gluck jon my boy..
    test
  9. HighPawTheCyst

    HighPawTheCyst New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2003
    Messages:
    523
    konvikt:


    great googaly moogaly...that was off the chain i just finished reading a verse off the same topic, and i must say, you killed it, the imagery was vivid as hell, i like how you broke down different sets of footsteps, the boyfriend/girlfreind part was off the chain, the flow was nasty, some good vocab, but your set up was immaculate, props mayne


    demik:


    hmmm, i must say i've seen a lot better from you, all i can ask is why didn't you take your time bastard, j/k, your verse was hot as well, not as discriptive as kon's but it was well written, you could've made it a little longer, i just felt i was cut short, i was looking for more, and it wasn't there, but based upon what you had, i liked it, suicide is an easyy topic so it did have a sort of cliched feel, but overall i liked it, just wanted more


    overall:


    it's obvious who my votes for so im not gonna do much more comparison, konvikt just came with a better verse this week, props to both though
    test
  10. Papa_Smurf

    Papa_Smurf Junior Jedi

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2003
    Messages:
    400
    Both came pretty good, however Konvikt just killed it. His story was awesome, great use of his topic and good imagery. I wasn't feeling the first verse of it with the man and his son, but it got better after that, the last two verses were great.

    Demik's wasn't bad though, he did have a good post, it just didn't have as much of an impact as Konvikts did

    Vote: Kon
    test
  11. KonviKt

    KonviKt Jonny Punchline

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2001
    Messages:
    21,784
    2-0

    Nice battle Demik:)

    test
  12. Nu-SeNsE

    Nu-SeNsE WHERE THE $$$'S COME FROM

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2003
    Messages:
    981
    kons verse:

    As I sit along the beach, I see impressions of feet before me...
    Differant sizes, large and small, each one with a unique story...
    Like these right here...probably of a young boy and his father...
    The closeness shows slowness and that's where the boy walked harder...
    After the dad told him that him and his mom were getting divored...
    Then the boy got pissed and asked him why he was hitting her for...
    "I love your mother, son, but she just can't keep her trap shut...
    That's the main reason that she repeatedly gets smacked up...
    This divorce isn't your fault...you know that we both love you, dearly...
    And I get that special tingle inside...everytime I hug you near me..."
    "But Dad, I'm sure things could be work out...wait, maybe you're jokin?
    Cause if I can't have you both together, than I'm headin for the ocean...
    Life ain't worth living without you and Mom together in it, Daddy...
    Screw it...I know this is for real. I'm outta here...and don't try to catch me..."
    "No, son! WAIT!" And with that said...Johnny kicked his father and took off...
    The man couldn't move...he could stand there and look with shook awe...
    His body was frozen as his son ran, then stopped and walked softly in the ocean...
    Then he dropped to his knees and little Johnny passed....coughing and choking...

    But enough about those...lets take a look another set of heels and toes...
    More than likely a young couple...judging by how those two heels are close...
    Walking hand-and-hand...talking as they walk through the chalky sand...
    Going over their future together, and how much they saved in the coffee can...
    They wanna raise a happy man...2 kids, a dog, and a two-story house and a car...
    Fenced in property, where they can have friends over and cook out in the yard...
    And if you look right there...it looks like their feet tangled and mixed together...
    That's foreshadowing and what might happen if they rush into livin together...
    Things happen too fast....life could take either one of them faster than that...
    Or they might go into debt quick...and have to beg around...askin for cash...
    Teenage love can be romantic...but they never think about the road ahead...
    It's sad...they are only concerned with their current mode, instead...
    This is only a theory about what these two were saying today...
    But look closely...and notice the footprints slowly fade away...

    Directly to you're left you'll see a pair in an unlikely position...
    Two best friends...one is ²²²ish and the other is a Christian...
    But as they stroll the beachside, they don't let religion blind them...
    As long as they both feel comfortable with each other beside him...
    The mighty Lord will provide them...with safety and security...
    They don't look at each other as an unequal or an impurity...
    You can see the footprints speed up as they take part in a friendly race...
    At a manly pace, they finish at a tie...then sit and chill at a sandy place...
    They talk about differant things...like sports, music, and happenings at school...
    Laughing and joking...rolling around in the sand, straight acting a fool...
    Not worried about "clappin the tool"...just two friends kickin it...
    They say "Live Life to the Fullest"...and to the fullest is how they're livin it...

    Now there's different examples of feet...three differant situations in life...
    Three things to think about if you ever begin to start hating your life...
    Life could be a lot worse...and life could always get better, believe me...
    As long as you put you're faith in me and never try to decieve me...
    Cuz as I sit here, watching people create a new story in the smooth sand...
    I feel comfortable the one day that will be joining me in the New Land...
    These are my children, and I will continue to co-write their life stories...
    As long as they continue to be rightous and live their lives for me...

    As I sit along the beach, I see impressions of feet before me...
    Differant sizes, large and small, each one with a unique story...




    really feelin ur 1st para kon really good imagery and wordplay was good too thought that was ur best para started to fade as the verse went on but the last para brought it back....nice verse

    demiks verse:

    How did all this happen? All of a sudden it just fell apart
    No job, no wife, no family left, my life is over, I can tell from my heart
    And the pain that im feeling, this cant be anything else
    This is the end of the road, My life is over, and I shall take it myself
    The walls just fell in on me, there's no shambles left to gather
    Given the option of wandering pathetic on earth, no i'd rather-
    Take my own life in dignity than live as a broke man
    See, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, let me lay this out, so you see where i stand



    At first it started little, you know, the inconveniences we all face
    Followed by the snow ball effect that led to the rest of my decay, my fall from grace
    And now I lay before the word, crumbled and lonely, a shell of my former self
    But as I lay here on the top of the 30 stories, it's obvious what the future tells
    Wind in my air I think of the things that I once had..and lost
    Things that I let go, that i neglected, the worth of my life..what it cost
    And it makes me realize I was selfish my whole life, this is my momment of truth
    I've always had a battle with reality, and now I give in..I guess that I lost
    I tried to hard to make it better...but hey, we all gotta go some day
    But some will go un-expected, some will plead for mercy, I will go the decent way
    Accepting your fate, that is truely what death is all about
    I s'pose the scary part is, i actually beleive the words coming from my mouth
    I beleive that my life is through, this is the only way out
    That i will never find love again, never be able to take a spouse


    Well thats all of it, my state of mind, now you stepped into my shoes
    You see my dillema and can understand why I have to do what Im about to
    But in my final minutes on earth, Ive grasped we cant control certain things
    And understand that the world does not revolve around us human beings
    So as I take my last steps, I kiss this world goodbye, and begin to fly without wings



    this was a dope verse but it just didnt have as good content as kon's just like high paw said i've saw alot better from u this was just a bad day maybe but just when i was gettin really into it there was no more to read. u needed more in this to win so my vote goes 2.......


    - konvikt
    test
  13. Og Simmson

    Og Simmson New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2002
    Messages:
    5,659
    Vote-kon, is overwelled demik, demik had no twist neither did kon, it was a matter of deepness and production and kon had both..i think his got deeper and was produced better, good battle tho

    vote-kon
    test
  14. KonviKt

    KonviKt Jonny Punchline

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2001
    Messages:
    21,784
    4-0 me

    test
  15. LDogg The King

    LDogg The King The High Life

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2000
    Messages:
    16,941
    I really liked the flow if demiks story better. it had a better writing touch to it I thought.. but it failed to bring as much of a whole to his shit as kons... kon, im gonna be serious with you an tell you I was somewhat bored with your story.. but don’t take that as an insult I just think for a story to really catch eye it has to be peculiar.. but you did have the better story an the more detailed plot. I like the effort you put in this week.. great job, you proved the predictions wrong! : )

    best of luck to whoever wins...

    pz

    vote - konvikt
    test
  16. NAX

    NAX Bring the Pain.

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2002
    Messages:
    186
    demiks verse was quite ill.
    didn't have too much to work w/ in the creativity department ... not many of the topics you can do that with. but he capped it off nicely, had some smooth transitions and not an over-abundance of multis. also the ending was nice as well, flying w/o wings, nice alliteration.

    you could tell konvikt but alot of time into his story, and it payed off to me. three tales of how the beach brings pain, heartache and love together. and you also tied them up together in the ending. you know this almost could read like an essay, the format is almost identical to one, but the story is very vivid and well-written like demiks.

    i think if demik put more time into his he could've won, its alright man at work we have 126 emergency calls for flooding in homes, so i've been busy as well, i feel you.

    good job guys, but kon gets this one. pce.

    vote = konvikt.
    test
  17. MC4SiGHT

    MC4SiGHT JOE COMMiSSO

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2003
    Messages:
    1,838
    real nice battle here to the both of you...reading through i enjoyed the approach, and styles of both of your verses

    kon-verse was great, solid imagery, near flawless flow, everything fell in place nice job

    demik-nice verse, great flow really feelin it, just overall felt kon more, plus his verse was llonger, not that lenght really matters i just think it gave him a fuller reach on the topic he did

    nice verse to both tho.

    vote-konvikt
    test
  18. DemiK

    DemiK does his own stunts

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2001
    Messages:
    239
    jonny man, you killed it, i was workin and though i could catch a break and have the verses due on thursday since the threads werent up and all, but thats no excuse, you got it man, nice battle



    thanks to all who voted
    test
  19. Jon T. Fogelman

    Jon T. Fogelman holla at ya boy

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2003
    Messages:
    668
    test
  20. TeKneeK

    TeKneeK The Heart and Soul of RM

    Joined:
    May 3, 1999
    Messages:
    27,822
    test
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