2 funny jokes....

Discussion in 'The Alley' started by °®Mr. Wright©°, Jan 14, 2007.

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  1. °®Mr. Wright©°

    °®Mr. Wright©° Still Thuggish Ruggish

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    Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: "Saul, sell your business." He ignores it.

    It goes on for days. "Saul, sell your business for $3 million." After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store.

    The voice says ‘Saul, go to Las Vegas." He asks why. "Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas." He obeys, goes to a casino.

    Voice says, "Saul , go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand." He hesitates but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing.


    "Saul, take a card." What? The dealer has — "Take a card!" He tells the dealer to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy.


    "Saul, take another card." What? "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!" He asks for another card. It’s another ace. He has twenty. "Saul, take another card," the voice commands. I have twenty! Saul shouts.


    "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!" booms the voice. Hit me, Saul says. He gets another ace. Twenty one.


    The booming voice goes: "Un-fucking-believable!"
    __________________________________________________-

    Once upon a time, and far, far away lived a beautiful Queen with voluptuous breasts. Nick the Dragon slayer knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them.

    One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician, exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it.

    Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed.

    Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the itch.

    The King quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician then slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts.

    The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon Slayer left satisfied and touted as a hero.

    Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the King, with a laugh just told him to get lost.

    The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer...
    test
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