15. Wisdom 7-2 Vs 16. Den-S 1-0

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Nebz, Sep 23, 2003.

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  1. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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  2. Den-S

    Den-S .:.The Chosen One.:.

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    checkin in...
    test
  3. WiSDoM

    WiSDoM I t0k yer wifes virginity

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    damn didnt realize they were due today lol...im here

    1 step before death on the brinks of Suicide

    also doing that topic..:)
    test
  4. WiSDoM

    WiSDoM I t0k yer wifes virginity

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    kinda glad there not due 2morrow lol..would of had to rush it..had sum shit i had ta do..props to tek :)..
    test
  5. WiSDoM

    WiSDoM I t0k yer wifes virginity

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    have u finished ur verse yet?
    test
  6. Den-S

    Den-S .:.The Chosen One.:.

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    #10: America is dying slowly
    =============================


    The hardships and struggles, troubles through society//
    Another day is in crumbles, for what suffers is humanity//
    The prominent poisons that plague the politics of this prison//
    To which no one sees, no one listens, so now hell is rechristened//
    The drugs that consume our children, the youth are at a loss//
    For living life so foolishly, and not recognizing all the costs//
    That it must be a mentality only offered by one’s own good will//
    And they still play amidst the streets, while a heart cries, still//
    Instead of playgrounds, there are grounds of play, of reckless abuse//
    And toys are no longer plastic swords, but now gats and knives are at use//
    If they so choose, their fate lies in their decisions that are made today//
    And enforce a feeblish fortune of living, and preys them into this craze//
    In many ways, they are at fault for these consequences, dire inferences//
    For knowing what is play and what is for kill, there are no major differences//
    So the children are out an about, in yells and shouts, for here and the now//
    So they succumb to the drastic evils of sin, and then wonder why and how//
    Yet while the children are at odds with the documentation of what’s right//
    The parents are at ends with themselves and others, and provide no such light//
    For jobs are at a few, and the economy welts under the boulders of precedence//
    A hierarchy of a hypocrisy that hastens the free, it’s been death ever since//
    Under this distressful foundation lies a castle that can never be mended//
    And no solution is sought, under vicious plots, a family’s future has ended//
    Once a society of families have been shot, the trouble now mounts to the top//
    Of a government of little action, assuming the words can add a positive clout//
    These words of promise, of hope and adulation to unforgivable situations//
    End up being preposterous lies that enforce a haunting sensation//
    It started with a war against a fellow foe, that attacked our country//
    And ended up a war against our homeland, we became our own enemies//
    Ignorance is the most supreme child amongst a people willing to follow//
    No matter how grandiose the proposition, no matter if the plan is shallow//
    A democracy of fellow wrong-doers that see no laws to abide by//
    But you can see the sin and deceit as you glare into each of their eyes//
    The corruption that is swimming through our politics, brainwashed our leaders//
    To see them break all the Commandments of a better life, and still see no sinners//
    Poverty is at a great peak, affecting the streets and imprisoning the mentally weak//
    Falsity is rampant among the Christ's people, and no minds want free of this seed//
    Instead what lies in the wake of this great supernatural mission in which we encounter//
    Is that America no longer hold no merits, just a disgrace to our Founding Fathers//
    A slow death has crept into the steps of regreat, and is a threat to all that is set//
    To offset this neglect, or dissect this social debt- to be assure of this verbal preset//
    No not yet
    test
  7. WiSDoM

    WiSDoM I t0k yer wifes virginity

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    guess so...bout to drop mine cause i just saw u posted yours..not trying to be all shady bout it..gimmie 2 mins to do the html shit with the bolding and what not..peace bro..
    test
  8. WiSDoM

    WiSDoM I t0k yer wifes virginity

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    1 step before death on the brinks of Suicide

    *A Stormy night outside, lighting, thunder, pouring rain..while I sit alone inside my room..hoping to ease the pain..I pick up a pen, and begin to write, this is my note, this is my suicide letter*...

    *Letter One*

    Dear Friends and Family,

    A rotten smile on a sickening face waits inside this game
    I never asked for much, but the things I want I just cant gain
    Contained within a bubble, scorned and beaten while I bleed
    Had everyone turn there backs on me, instead of fulfilling what I need
    I believed that I was useless, trapped without any hope
    Lost my mother last year to a murder, and my brother to an overdose
    Pretty soon we'll all be close, resting within eternal bliss
    Holding hand and hand, explaining to you the things that you missed
    and how you left me stranded, with a father who screams and is abusive
    Ive stayed strong, but my esteem is low and im extremely lucid
    Im confused with life, and how many more letters I can write
    Each day that goes by, the knife inches closer by night
    To tired to fight, why wasn't I given a second chance?
    Have a girl, and understand true love and romance
    I glance into the mirror, images of my past are revealed
    the night the breaks died, and I crashed through the windshield
    I should have been killed but for some reason I pulled through
    cause 2 days later, I had to be present when they buried you...



    *Speaking with my physicatrist*

    Physicatrist = Mary(Bold)
    Me = Danny (Italics)

    Danny, have things gotten better since your last visit?
    Not really Mary, I hate myself more every single minute
    Life isn't worth living, I gave up cause I have nothing to lose
    Im a struggling invidivdual, trapped in ever lasting solitude
    But what can I do?, my inner spirit is no longer whole

    Extort your weaknesses, except the things you can't control
    Cajole your friends to help, instead of sitting alone
    Cause if not, your next to be placed under a tombstone
    You've grown as a person, I have seen it over time
    I've been here for 6 months, been with you through your prime
    Find the strength inside, Im not trying to lecture you
    Don't let people hurt, bring down, or pressure you

    I just approve everyones plans, jumping on command
    Reaching for help, with no one to recieve my hand
    Stand on my own, the storm surrounding me pulls me under
    I wish I could fall in love, and never awake from its slumber
    My heart pounds like thunder, stressing over others problems
    I have enough of my own Mary, and I cant even solve them

    Your not alone, this struggling of yours wont last forever
    I haven't lied before, and I promise you it will get better
    Remain strong, please come back for your next session

    Okay Mary, thank you, Ill be back to see you Decemeber 7th...


    *Back at home, a late night before I lay my head down to rest*

    (Bold = Mom Talking)

    Freezing outside, hoping the night would soon come to end
    Blew out the candle, laid down, its time to go to bed
    I remember what Mary had said, I'll be strong and try to fight
    Outside my window appeared a large translucent light
    A white gown arose, a women with long brown hair
    Spoke of my name, "Son I have heard all your prayers"
    I was not prepared for this, my hands shook with fear
    I knew it was my mom, the women I lost last year
    The image was so clear, tears rolled down my cheeks
    I wanted to ask her questions, but I wasn't able to speak
    My body went weak, she spoke again with her soft toned voice
    "I didnt mean to leave you Danny, but I had no choice"
    I was overwhelmed with rejoice, to see her once again
    "Pray to me at nights, I'll always be here to answer them"
    Then I broke down, now somebody is here to help and provide
    I mean Mom, this is the 5th time I've attempted suicide
    "I was by your side, I helped you always pull through"
    "I love you Danny, from above Im watching down on you"

    The light faded quickly, this is what I've waited to feel
    Inside Im finally happy, the wounds and scars have been healed....


    good luck kidd..peace


    *EDITED TO FIX THE BOLDING*...
    test
  9. TeKneeK

    TeKneeK The Heart and Soul of RM

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    test
  10. WiSDoM

    WiSDoM I t0k yer wifes virginity

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    test
  11. LDogg The King

    LDogg The King The High Life

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    both came real well.. never peeped den s.. i like his style.. but wisdom had a great story.. very vivid.. had some real deep emotion to it..

    great battle..

    vote wisdom.
    test
  12. Den-S

    Den-S .:.The Chosen One.:.

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    test
  13. NAX

    NAX Bring the Pain.

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    i agree w/ L dogg. den came with a dope verse, full of thoughtfulness and it made you think beyond the picture. choppy in a few sections, perhaps misplaced. but a good drop.

    wisdoms was pretty damn amazing. the storyline on this shit was crazy ... vivid images of a child on the brink of suicide. really his was better written then den's on a whole. but a good battle from both sides.

    vote = wisdom.
    test
  14. Tha Talent

    Tha Talent , Tha Master.

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    i'm not in the mood to go tooo indept but anyway..
    a while back i said wisdom would be a champ one day.
    his story was colorful and nice.
    and well told
    just overall good

    Den-S has potential maybe
    but his verse was so plain and boring
    and he didn't use multis with rare exceptions.

    vote=Wisdum
    test
  15. WiSDoM

    WiSDoM I t0k yer wifes virginity

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    test
  16. Gummo

    Gummo New Member

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    ok ive just drove 12 hours from fla. and im realllly not in the mood to do deep voting..
    ------------------------------

    den-s your pieces just need a little bit of work it seems like your trying to hard to force content flow and your point into one piece and its just makin it come out a wrong way, you def had some potential but just not the potential enough to beat wisdom in this battle, wisdom.. nice verse you come very well i havnt read any of your work to in depth so far but i kind of enjoyed this one, wasnt the best but def enough to win the battle.. nice work yall pz

    vote::wisdom
    test
  17. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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    wisdom wins
    test
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