15. Ribonuclease 8-5 Vs. 16. R3DRUM 1 -0

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Extreme Venom, Oct 24, 2006.

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  1. Extreme Venom

    Extreme Venom Well-Known Member

    Oct 7, 1999



    The Standard League Rules will still be Enforced

    Due Dates

    VERSES DUE: Saturday, 11:59PM PST/2:59AM EST
    Verses posted after the deadline will not count!

    VOTES DUE Monday, 11:59PM PST/2:59 EST
    Votes posted after the deadline will not count!

    • Check-in (Posting in your match to show that you are aware the match exists) is encouraged but not required.
    • Verses must incorporate at least one of the provided topics and must be at least 16 lines and must not exceed 64 lines.
    • Anyone who does not post at least 4 rap lines, incorporating at least one of the provided topics, is considered a no-show.
    • RECYCLING IS NOT STRICTLY PROHIBITED. You may not use any verse that you have previously used within the league at any time. Whether it was a no show, tournament verse recycled for the league or visa versa or any verse that have ever been used within the league perimeters.
    • During check-in, you can ask your opponent to agree to a line limit (Minimum 16) and if your opponent agrees, Moderators will hold both participants to that limit.
    • Posting between 4-15 lines is considered a “show” but will not result in a match. If you post 4-15 lines, and your opponent posts between 16-64, you will lose the match but you will remain in the league. If you post 4-15 lines, and your opponent does not show, you will “Win by no-show”.

    • If you do not show you can still vote and post the links in your match to receive full voting points. In addition, if you do not show, yet vote on at least 4 matches (Or, every match available, should there be less than 4 matches to vote on) you will remain in the league.
    • Votes must be hidden! To hide a vote, first thing you type in your reply is a bracket “[“, the word “hide” and end bracket “]”. The last thing you type in your reply is a bracket “[“, a backslash “/”, the word “hide” and end bracket “]”. Unhidden votes will not count towards the match or towards your vote requirements.
    • No second chance votes! Editing votes for any reason must be approved by mods and explained in reason for editing.
    • No bias votes! If you have a personal investment in wanting someone to lose, whether because that member voted against you once, or you just don’t like that person, whatever the reason, do not vote in the match. If have a personal investment in wanting someone to win, whether because they’re crew member, or because you want to face that person in the next week’s brackets, whatever the reason, do not vote in the match.
    • ”Bias” must be confirmed by a Moderator.
    • If there is a match which you will not be able to vote on, due to “Bias” of any type, state so within your match prior to Verses Due Deadline. If this reduces the number of matches available for you to vote on to the point where you are unable to vote on at least 4 matches, the point scale will be adjusted according to how many matches you do vote on.
    • 3-ways are inevitable. In order to provide a tie-breaker in a 3-way, you are now required to indicate in what order the contestants finished (1st, 2nd, 3rd).
      anyone who does not show or vote is suspended one week and must sign-in again to be inserted the following week.

    Topics: http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=1016268

  2. R3DRUM

    R3DRUM Capo

    Jul 13, 2005
    mic check 1,2,1,2
  3. Ribonuclease

    Ribonuclease New Member

    Jul 25, 2004
  4. R3DRUM

    R3DRUM Capo

    Jul 13, 2005
    maaybe...im not too good at this topical shit but i try
  5. R3DRUM

    R3DRUM Capo

    Jul 13, 2005
    Be Inhuman

    Mindstate consumed, like satan who rhymes straight inhuman..
    Groomed in contusions, or maybe ive made illusions?
    Ive created these bruises in my own mind's eye..
    Even when faced with losin, i ask "Why won't i die?"
    In my throne i reside, a pentagram my emblem..
    Wit heaven n hell's angels; its a damned religion..
    Just imagine livin, when light n dark borders' meet..
    More like bad meets evil,tha supreme authority..
    While lookin over at my minion wit winged tentacles..
    Im commandin her to destroy everything biblical..
    It seems eligible, my feathered one is repairing tho..
    Simultaneously in this bad weathered scenerio..
    Whenever half-scared to go.. believe i have a purpose..
    I cant walk the earth, every step cracks the surface..
    I speak words conversed to immaculate verses..
    And i admit with this kinda power im actually nervous..
    Like snatchin some purses, im just stealin what's tithed..
    And im too greedy for my own, with no feeling to give..
    But i take, cuz ive made it as Creator of Sins..
    But im blessed, like angels whispered those prayers in my den..
    Color of greyish within, im tugged between dark n light..
    My body's close to splittin, and both sides start to fight..
    An inner war, thats been repeating for centuries..
    Im just tha messenger tho, consider my speech a delivery..
    Sign on tha dotted line, and ya soul turns abominable..
    But my dignity compels me, to not make one grovel for show..
    And my psychotic goals, are derived from the blackness..
    That belongs in my chest, the left side of my practice..
    My most likely reaction, is overreaction but fuck it..
    This deadly tool in my hand, im sure this staff will go public..
    As a matter of fact on the subject, of my inner warfare..
    With God n Satan, they are both probably waitin..
    On the day i find a new way, n start to degrate them..
    But my heart's quickly fadin, so i soon wont be in this
    Struggle, but ill still be spared, inhumanistically gifted,
    with trouble....

  6. Ribonuclease

    Ribonuclease New Member

    Jul 25, 2004
    Be Inhuman (whatever that may mean to you)

    You see what power is - holding someone else's fear in your hand and showing it to them!
    Amy Tan

    slam the door, open the curtains
    in a stance for war - a chovenist person
    ready to live, but born to die
    in school there was no course supplied
    for a tortured pride
    and yet through another door lies more suprises
    torture devices young children born in a crisis
    a preacher feels morbid and righteous
    had a fortunate life but succumbed to horrible vices
    a need for tobacco
    crack supplied as a tithe from the thief in the back row
    a drug addicted pastor, Jesus is that so?
    when we believe in the facts, we're seen as a black crow
    this man saw God through his third eye
    lost in his first try, the thought is absurd
    but every time he pondered it blurred by
    shockin his nerves , but kept preachin
    cuz if he stopped then the church died.
    people confessed sins
    he answered with passionate replies
    but never spoke of himself so the pastor didn't lie
    he was fashioning demise in a blasphemous disguise
    he saw the truth but grabbed the pipe
    cuz the hand is faster than the eye

    a trained assassin
    had a misconstrued view of pain and passion
    his next kill wore a Mason's hat the main attraction
    so he needed a silencer so they couldn't trace the blastin
    he waited laughin - the shooter found humor in death
    tutored with a luger he'd use the usual steps
    him and his tutor held this mutual jest
    taught that takin a life, was more removin a pest
    he saw his prey, and started gazin down the scope
    the type of murderer that made safe and sound a hoax
    there was proper placement now for him to graze his top
    but before he could make the shot -
    a knife caught the bastard in the side
    so death relates to life -
    another path that it divides
    but this other mans hand was faster than his eye
    which left a packaged cadavar of this sad sadistic guy

    Lifes a game to me, Im just survivin aimlessly
    I sit and wait for disastor to find its way to me
    My name's Matt, I got a pastor addicted to rock
    thought i was an angel,
    Im just a master at pickin a lock
    the most evil.. with the soul of a demon
    leavin people sulkin and screamin
    wretched and gross
    the one checkin ya pulse while ya bleedin
    I trained another man as a sniper
    to maim and kill, slay at will just to pay the bills
    chasin thrills seein more smoke than paper mills
    Took a year to train a killer
    a day to train an addict
    afraid to face the facts but my hate was makin magic
    a razorblade to slash or a faith to take is tragic
    I had a great childhood.. a kid wrapped in gifts
    but my parents died - a foster mom mishap
    every time she cracked a fifth I was whipped, lashed and kicked
    drank a six pack.. and a fist smashed my lips,
    the bitch laughed I cursed god, a bit blasphemous
    and everytime a opportunity knocked
    it slipped past my grip
    Saw ways to get past the witches plans
    but I never grabbed my shit and ran
    I was a flash amidst the pan
    Lucifer grabbed my hourglass and shattered it
    I guess I was crafted in the sand
    it turned out that my eye was faster than my hand
  7. Infinite Truth

    Infinite Truth ...scatterboxx rocks.

    Aug 25, 2000
    [hide]first battle i've read since coming back to the league.
    you two both have a lotta talent.
    redrum- definitely a solid drop. good scheme, structure, & flow. definitely better than 90% of the shit that i used to read here. nothing necessarily brilliant. content-wise it got boring at times, which disinterested me at some points. but it was definitely a verse i was expecting to take it. i read ribo's verse & was very impressed. sick flow, reminiscent of tha talent's. & the scheme complimented it hugely. your verse never lost my interest- your scheme nor flow ever sacrificed content. definitely an important factor- ended up being the factor that won it for you this verse.
    vote-ribonclease. brilliantly written. flow, scheme, & structure were consistently strong- never sacrificing content.[/hide]
    editted to hide.
  8. TheReturn

    TheReturn Life of the Party

    Aug 24, 2006
    Pretty cool verse, some nice multis thrown in and stuff, nothing to good but nothing to bad either. Story was alright, stayed on topic I guess.

    Story was easier to pick out, verse was very well written and flow was really on point through the whole thing. Definitely grabbed my attention more than R3D's piece and kept me reading until the end. Nice verse.

    VOTE = Ribo[/hide]
  9. Vigil

    Vigil Im infinite consciousness

    Aug 16, 2005
    [hide]redrum - not a bad verse, the topic is played out, i don't like the whole god/devil thing unless there's a twist. And there wasn't enough material in this verse, you should've kept writing. The rhymes and flow were okay, like i said, not a bad verse.

    Ribo - pretty creative verse, the flow was nice in alot parts..it was fun to read, and i liked those last four lines alot. The rhymes were pretty good, i think you should've slimmed your verse just a little bit but overall it was a good verse.

    vote - ribo[/hide]
  10. HellRzah

    HellRzah PurE EviL

    Mar 20, 2001
    [hide]nice battle[/hide]
  11. SD-11

    SD-11 The Iron Curtain

    Oct 3, 2006
    aight...this was a sick battle.....

    ima brake it down like this..

    Flow:Tie...yall both had some sick flows, i liked ribo's cause the multies gave it a nice flow..
    Mulities: Ribo, you had some sick ass multies, loved them man, shit was crazy..
    Vocab: Redrum, liked ur vocab a bit better, but yall both used some good vocab..
    Visuals: tie, you both had some real good visuals, put pictures in my head like crazy, good stuff..

    Overall: ima go wit Ribo on this 1 cause i liked his multies and the way they produced a picture with the nice vocab did it for me...it was a tight battle, good job from both sides, but overall i choose RIbo....keep it up guys...

  12. R3DRUM

    R3DRUM Capo

    Jul 13, 2005
    good battle ribo...
  13. Ribonuclease

    Ribonuclease New Member

    Jul 25, 2004
  14. J o o k

    J o o k Guest

    just peeping
  15. SacriFICE

    SacriFICE TRUspeak

    Jul 13, 1999
    Redrum: Although nothing stands out too much about your piece, its fairly solid nonetheless. Vivid descriptions of the situation were the strengths of your verse, and you did it well, pretty straight forward. A few lines stood out to me with the imagery and multi combinations, made it pretty enjoyable to read... I don't have too many qualms with this piece man... pretty good effort.

    Ribo: Yeah... best piece I've read this week. Not much else to say other than technical junk, which you did all really well. Flow was ill, rhyming was incredible... reminding me of how I rhyme in alot of my pieces. Also the way you wrapped up each verse/idea with the same concept was really cool and unexpected after the first verse was through... and I fucking loved the rhyme scheme at the very end... executed to perfection with rhyming and completion of ideas. Dope as hell...

    Vote: Ribonuclease - Thought you shined this week... Verse of the week in my opinion..., good battle though, two solid pieces.
  16. blackwell

    blackwell New Member

    Jan 4, 2006
    [hide]r3d Rum- I liked ur verse although I found it a little difficult to understand the topic. Was a tight verse through out and couldnt really fault it apart from that u r structure was a bit difficult to follow as it felt like a few of ya bars seemed like u was trying to be too complex which swayed the topic a bit. I havent read any of u r topicals before but im impressed tho.peace

    Ribon: No hate but I wasnt really feeling ya verse although u had a better structure. I didnt like how u made all three paragraphs about people in different situation didnt like it at all. But you had some decent lines in there and had a good structure just didnt feel you covered the topic as well as you couldv'e.overall vote = r3drum[/hide]
  17. TaLi RodrigueZ

    TaLi RodrigueZ Washed Up Rapper...

    Apr 5, 2002

    I read this one earlier. This was a pretty decent battle. I think Ribo took it. Redrum, nice verse for certain. The rhymes were pretty good for the most part. Your ability to describe certain situations seems to be a strong point. In this case, I think the downfall for you was the content. It was ok, don't get me wrong, but it happened to be on a topic that everybody and their unborn children have already written on. Unless there is some way to REALLY shock people with something new, I'd always recommend not writing about GOD/DEVIL, WAR, and the HOLOCAUST lol. Ribo, way better than I recall you being. Although, last time I read you was over a year ago. This whole thing reminded me of RIKOSHAY a bit. A baby Rikoshay if you will. Nice, long, meaningful multi's and switches in rhyme scheme in between. Again, the concept itself wasn't the newest but the way you tied in the eye/hand stuff was pretty cool.

    There isn't really a whole lot more for me to break down. Both of these were solid but I thought Ribo's was a step above Redrum's in just about all categories. I hope Redrum sticks around though because he has the foundation to make some noise in the future.[/hide]
  18. Mr. Mynd

    Mr. Mynd The British Guy

    May 11, 2004
    [hide]I thought Ribo took this one fairly comfortably.

    Rum - I liked the picture you chose to take on, that was pretty dope, I didnt think many would go for that this week, so i was surprised to see it used. I just couldnt get into your piece this week for some reason. The abruptness of it didnt really help either to be honest, it all seemed rather hastily brought to a closure. I felt that you could maybe of extended it further, got into depth with it, and pulled the reader in. That never came, and it left me feeling a bit short changed to be honest. Not bad, but not your best by any means my man...

    Ribo - I think this is one of the first, if the only, Ive read from you. You use the broken down bar style well, Im actually quite fond of that myself, and use it a lot outside of the league. Some people seemed to have qualms with it though, which is why I adapted. Still, it reads easy enough foir me. Noce schemes used, really well written, a great opening section, and overall a solid verse. You won this one fairly easily in my opinion.

    Welcome to the league!

  19. Kryptikal

    Kryptikal Soulstice.

    Aug 26, 2005
    [HIDE]rum - you had a nice flow here, with some metaphors,
    but the topic just wasnt that original, the flow was
    still fire, you had some good vocabulary strewn in
    with emotion to fir the imagery your piece emitted
    which is all good, however i think that this maybe
    one of the most played out bits of all time..

    ribo 0 good multies as well, but you told a story with your rhymes, and it was a good story as welll. the flow was very consistatnt, this reminds me of users old pieces, and otehrs from upn, and yeh, it had emotion as well... very original story luine... good job, the winner here had the better topic

    v- ribonuclease[/HIDE]
  20. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

    Aug 3, 2005

    Red...you're fam, but you got beat here bro...your flow was good and I like your scheme...a couple things here and there as far as word choice would have improved the piece...other then that the story wasn't really anything original or really creative and it kind of just ended without really coming to a summation or really telling much of a story...I would have liked to have seen more to it...

    Rib...I haven't read the champ match yet, but i'm thinking this'll probably be the verse of the week...the flow was smooth as hell...the piece itself was crafted intricately and everything was put together in a very well planned out manner...I like how you connected everything and the character was relatable...very nicely done.

    vote = Ribo...the kid earned the win this week...

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