15. Muti Vs 16 Rhymeageddon

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Nebz, Sep 14, 2003.

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  1. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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    [​IMG]



    VERSES DUE Wednesday 10:00pm PACIFIC/1:00am EST
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    Get Your Topics
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?threadid=637913

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    YOU MUST MUST MUST -- POST YOUR URL'S OF ALL THE BATTLES YOU VOTED ON HERE IN YOUR OWN THREAD..

    VOTE ON 6 BATTLES!!!!!

    FAILURE TO DO SO RESULTS IN 3 VOTE SUBTRACTION!!!


    if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!!



    GO FOR IT!!!
    test
  2. Muti

    Muti I just write

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    Here good luck...
    test
  3. MiC TypsOn

    MiC TypsOn informer

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    just noticed this.... yea good luck.
    test
  4. Muti

    Muti I just write

    Joined:
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    6 Insanity
    On the eve of your wedding night you come home to find… you’re best friend and your fiancée both naked, dead… in each others’ arms. WTF happened and tell your thoughts.



    My thoughts of my beautiful baby mother..wedding just a day away-
    I work hard everyday so I was giving this time to get things okay-
    Decided to surprise my lady with an emotional night before-
    Until she found the glock I keep down under the floor-
    Right by the basement door..and of course she got upset-
    She hates them so much..instantley she made this horrible threat-
    Told me to get rid of it..of course I didn't..just hid it in another place-
    But I had to let her know so I could see that smile on her face-
    Driving home with this braclet I got for her, full of gold-
    Threw away the bag so she wouldn't know where it was sold-
    My son should be home as well..now he is around twelve-
    I remember the first time when I had him..Times was straight hell-
    But oh well..Made it through that as I pull up in my driveway-
    She usually comes to meet me at the door..but for some reason not today-
    Open up it did..but things were strange no one, just TV sound-
    She hiding I know, bout to scare me so I began to look around-
    Went past my sons door straight to my room..and was left shocked-
    Fell to the floor..My wife naked, dead with my best friend from the block-
    Can't believe my eyes..looks as if they were cheatin-
    Maybe someone caught them and gave them a beatin-
    Tears came to my eye..this is just sumthin I could not believe-
    The way they looked almost happy..thats when anger came over me-
    I ran to the new hiding place..to grab my gun I'll end this-
    A shot to the brain would change things..no one can defend this-
    Ran up the hall..screaming to the top of my lungs NOOOOOOOOOO-
    But when I looked, I'm fucked cuz my gun where did it go?-
    To stressed to think..but did remember to dial for the police-
    Told them if I find my gun..I will send myself to peace-
    Hung up the phone..I'm sure they was on the way fast-
    Looking around thinking two dead bodies that might be my ass-
    I heard a sound..but thought no one was around...
    I almost forgot my son..thats when the tears really started comin down-
    Hurried to his room..and he was sitting on his bed-
    At first look..noticed that he had a couple marks on his head-
    Asked if he was aight..hoping that he was not hurt from the beating-
    Only pointed to my gun..and said he killed them cuz she was cheating-
    <<<FADES OUT>>>

    as the cops kick in the door and grabs us......
    test
  5. MiC TypsOn

    MiC TypsOn informer

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    shit.. nice piece... i'm sorry i forgot all about this... i was doing fuck all yesterday too. =(
    test
  6. MiC TypsOn

    MiC TypsOn informer

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    4 Atheist
    You're alone in your house, because your mother and father have gone out, and left you in charge. You are watching music on the TV, when the door rings. You answer it, but there's no one there. Slightly angered, you just disregard it and think that it was those little 8 year old bastards knocking your door and running off to annoy you. But, the door rings again, this time, you open it and there is a box on your doorstep. You ppick it up and bring it inside. You set it on the table and open it, but it is empty. Suddenly, the door slams behind you, and the curtains close shut. The portrait photograph of you on the wall falls to the floor and shatters and behind it says your name> iT'S WRITTEN IN BLOOD..





    slightly shaken & angered, it's no overeaction i might be makin
    my hands seem to have a mind of their own & my boot's like quaking
    in the mirror my reflection seems distorted.... is it me on it?
    walking backwards towards my couch, i hear a scream from the closet
    oh my fucking god! i was here alone what is going on
    tears drip from my eyes as i tremble & cry -re-chanting "I'm Strong"
    "I can do this" it's a joke someones fucking with me, i can get through this
    a creek from the door suddenly i shiver, feel cold, thinkin who is this
    i choke just then, as darkness falls & the clock reads 20 past the stroke of 10
    electricity dies right before my eyes, but i was blinded & all hope shed
    with the light i had, the screams get louder -do i stay quiet or run for the door
    *bang* as it opens, it gets cold, a draft down my neck or the touch of a soul
    a voice so deep... then sounds with talk so bleek.. "my name"
    red looking eyes.. the chill factor is high.... "am i sane"
    a figuire distorted comes from the shadows & limps from the corner
    some-one help me find my mind, i think i've lost it
    father... father.... i'm standing... how will i last this
    father.......? as it run's through my mind...... it's what this figuire is asking
    but im a girl... not insane & this is my house, am I ill....
    grabbing the phone forgetting about the power... i try it
    theres a man on the other end in laughter & hysterics
    i'm so scared with this figuire in my face & this man asking questions
    @ my knees they'll find me... this figuire has knifed me
    there is no pain this ghostly kid has smiled @ me
    on this hallow's eve it's their death re-encatment it seems
    pointing through me.... it's @ another woman i believe....
    whispering she was first... but it's a time that he dreads....
    he tried to kill my mom but got me instead...
    she is still alive & killed him after she seen i was here dead




    lol i dunno how good that is... wrote quickly.. im not that good at topicals =(
    test
  7. NAX

    NAX Bring the Pain.

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    both of you needed to write more. develop the stories. but i think muti got this one. i could follow his story better. rhyme shifted from place to place too quickly. although he had the better flow and scheme, the story could've been developed better.

    no worries, i wrote mine quick as hell too. good battle though, pretty even. but muti gets it. pce.
    test
  8. Papa_Smurf

    Papa_Smurf Junior Jedi

    Joined:
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    400
    Both of you came pretty good, Rhyme's story confused me a little at the very end.
    Multi your story was great, I loved the way it rhymed, flowed, and the details were great as well.

    Vote: Multi.
    test
  9. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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    Up over No Shows
    test
  10. MiC TypsOn

    MiC TypsOn informer

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    booooooooooooooooo =)
    test
  11. Adolf Spitler

    Adolf Spitler I am homo hear me roar

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    muti got it


    lemme gather an explanation here....




    he came with a more developed story, excellent details, good ending and the whole story just gelled and flowed together, overall, very nice piece


    Vote= Muti
    test
  12. MC4SiGHT

    MC4SiGHT JOE COMMiSSO

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    vote-muti

    reason-better imagery storyline then rhyme, plus i got into his verse more, was a good battle but muti took it this time..

    1
    test
  13. Alias Breaker

    Alias Breaker New Member

    Joined:
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    Vote Muti

    Story was just told a lil better, entertained me. Nice job, rhymeageddon is dope though and i think has mad potential.
    test
  14. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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    Muti-Wins
    Rhymeageddon-Losses
    test
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