11. OneiRic 1-1 vs. 12. Linxz 2-2

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Baron Mynd, Feb 21, 2007.

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  1. Baron Mynd

    Baron Mynd Swaggersaurus Rex

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    The Standard League Rules will still be Enforced

    Due Dates

    VERSES DUE: Sunday12:00am PST/3:00am EST (this means Sunday, early early, start of the morning)
    Verses posted after the deadline will not count!

    VOTES DUE Tuesday: 12:00am EST PACIFIC 3:00am (also meaning early early morning Tuesday for people in the US)
    Votes posted after the deadline will not count!

    • Check-in (Posting in your match to show that you are aware the match exists) is encouraged but not required.
    • Verses must incorporate at least one of the provided topics and must be at least 16 lines and must not exceed 64 lines.
    • Anyone who does not post at least 4 rap lines, incorporating at least one of the provided topics, is considered a no-show.
    • During check-in, you can ask your opponent to agree to a line limit (Minimum 16) and if your opponent agrees, Moderators will hold both participants to that limit.
    • Posting between 4-15 lines is considered a “show” but will not result in a match. If you post 4-15 lines, and your opponent posts between 16-64, you will lose the match but you will remain in the league. If you post 4-15 lines, and your opponent does not show, you will “Win by no-show”.

    Voting:
    • If you do not show you can’t vote in any matches. .

    • No bias votes! If you have a personal investment in wanting someone to lose, whether because that member voted against you once, or you just don’t like that person, whatever the reason, do not vote in the match. If have a personal investment in wanting someone to win, whether because they’re crew member, or because you want to face that person in the next week’s brackets, whatever the reason, do not vote in the match.
    • ”Bias” must be confirmed by a Moderator.
    • If there is a match which you will not be able to vote on, due to “Bias” of any type, state so within your match prior to Verses Due Deadline. If this reduces the number of matches available for you to vote on to the point where you are unable to vote on at least 4 matches, the point scale will be adjusted according to how many matches you do vote on.
    • 3-ways are inevitable. In order to provide a tie-breaker in a 3-way, you are now required to indicate in what order the contestants finished (1st, 2nd, 3rd).
      anyone who does not show or vote is suspended one week and must sign-in again to be inserted the following week.



    Topics are HERE!:
    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=1034848
    test
  2. oNeiRiC

    oNeiRiC Souled In

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    383
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  3. Linxz

    Linxz What!

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2006
    Messages:
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    I Through this together....

    The Greatest Love Of All

    [​IMG]

    Martin Luther King Jr.: I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered…


    its a reason I MOBB, cause after parties mornings seem DEEP
    but don't get it twisted, I roll that...to be calm in these streets
    if problems of situations occur, I'm strap even my troops hold heat
    meet up crack dutches kill cyphers, fuck a bitch if she there for the breeze
    cause we control sells, crack or weed, meth or speed, also acid or that PcP
    even pain pills I can get it pop'n, type of cat that move like he rap "EASY"
    likewise this world needs me, stone heart, so I wear it as a badge on sleeves
    tip jar theive fuck who I be, its bitches that want but they to blind to see
    cause together, we cant afford, to live like we dream i'm after that cream
    fuck what it seem, cause this what it be, if she could just listen and believe
    I wouldn't feel neglected by distance, or lite candles everytime she leave
    man enough to admit, so ya shouldn't promote that Half Ass Shyt

    The Greatest Love Of All
    Is my Sweet Mary Jane
    Naw…
    Its my gat, balls, and my words
    That I wear as quotes on my back&arms

    The Greatest Love Of All
    Is my Sweet Mary Jane
    Naw…
    Its my gat, balls, and my words
    That I wear as quotes on my back&arms

    The Greatest Love Of All

    Martin Luther King Jr.: I HAD A DREAM! That One Day…

    might else well pack it up, lyrics hit ya like a mac truck, fifth stay tuck
    if you feel cocky or you luck up, you a bitch in a skirt listen you fuck
    ya 4bar thread snitch and it hurt, from "Philly" city of lost dreams
    its clear ya rep something you fear, i'm bout 2'set it straight and peel
    know R3drum a queer, so i'll handle murder'n you this year
    hear you but i dont feel, hip-hop is Major rap is Figgaz quit bluffing
    none of yall want it, i'll leave ya stain like mustard smell'n as oinions
    this is more than healing ya pain, scrapes, and scars, far from Oz
    spit it fast spit it slow thatz the imo, but this what I carry as ya memo
    feel me, I cant let go, amazingly feel like 6ft lets just flow
    The Greatest Love Of All

    but knowing ya, reading ya scripts you a fuck'n homo
    you coward bitches die slow, peep my promo
    but dont trash ya demo, step ya game up tighten ya rope
    cause out here, catz is bound to leave ya wit no hope
    ya should relate, how they like the smell of gun smoke, gun smoke
    fun no only attitudes show, got it twisted get ya wig blown
    fuck cable a wild household and these streets my home
    you mothafuckaz know, why fake it when shyt is known
    really not a battle, just felt to flow to let yall know

    The Greatest Love Of All
    Is my Sweet Mary Jane
    Naw…
    Its my gat, balls, and my words
    That I wear as quotes on my back&arms

    The Greatest Love Of All
    Is my Sweet Mary Jane
    Naw…
    Its my gat, balls, and my words
    That I wear as quotes on my back&arms

    The Greatest Love Of All

    Martin Luther King Jr.: I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered something he will die for…

    should face facts ya not bad the BIG BOY back
    though i'm grown, its like connected legos with gatz
    don't deal with ratz, i'll poka dot more than ya fitted cap
    didn't ya know? i'm soon to blow with this warning flow
    from morning shifts, to nights at clubs pipe'n these hoes
    VA...Flights, Jeans, and Tees', good lick fresh kicks
    who could fuck wit em, use to touch bricks now I bang hits
    as for my wear, Yall don't gotta like me
    my team strap wit legal guns, so lets see who runs...Like
    Hov said "you niccaz aint deep ya dumb" "you niccaz aint gangsta ya gum"
    so after this these crabs should be done
    rude boy splitter spit a quick 1hit a quiter i'll send yaaaaaaaa

    The Greatest Love Of All
    Is my Sweet Mary Jane
    Naw…
    Its my gat, balls, and my words
    That I wear as quotes on my back&arms

    The Greatest Love Of All
    Is my Sweet Mary Jane
    Naw…
    Its my gat, balls, and my words
    That I wear as quotes on my back&arms

    The Greatest Love Of All


    Martin Luther King Jr.: I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered something he will die for, he isn't fit to live.

    The Greatest Love Of All

    Linxz Talking: With that said, I dont know what the greatest love of all, is to you. But to me its being able to express myself freely, being able to comunicate, to try to be understood on all levels. Word Up! Its really all about being comfortable in ya mindstate that you in, all that other shyt these rappers be spitting is garbage, cause it appeal to folks that cant cope with drugz...and thatz real, a lil knowledge for the young catz.

    The Greatest Love Of All
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  4. oNeiRiC

    oNeiRiC Souled In

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2006
    Messages:
    383
    He who spares the wicked injures the good.
    Seneca
    i fold up my wings like an eclipse that has just fallen
    im no match for you, your whit, your sorrow
    i just cant keep up, with your whiskey and your bottle
    you are a cold shrill whisper from a gust of wind
    can you borrow a light?
    from the bottom of my soul
    would you care to help fight
    the fools...
    listen man, sir understand, im not talkin bout jesus
    when i look in the mirror, you ask help when the season
    gets rough and your cold gives you trouble breathin
    i say pick up a shovel, and dig your own hole
    but really as you do that, you have the dirt in a pile
    you can build a house with this foundation of soil
    you resist, in pride you can not see
    that courage is for fear
    against your justified needs
    finding honor in the smallest things
    is good, and wise
    yet using it, as you swallow
    will be your demise
    i ply, try right thy might fly... while..
    childish ways, will again save
    your lips from the singe
    your kids from the binge
    off of the ledge by themselves
    alone in the dark- utter confusion... of life
    hold their hand in the fight
    be truthful, stand up
    like a man- enough
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  5. Insinerhate

    Insinerhate ... above blaze ...

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2007
    Messages:
    19
    vote - Linxz

    Linxz, I must say, the content you chose for your subject I do not agree with, but it was written extremely well, don't want to sound cheesy but it was "Nas-esque", sort of ghetto poetry if you will, nice job, Adam, I've talked to you, you know the deal on this, it's unfortunate, but I know you'll do better and I have full confidence in you
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  6. TaLi RodrigueZ

    TaLi RodrigueZ Washed Up Rapper...

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2002
    Messages:
    4,546
    Up over no shows
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  7. oNeiRiC

    oNeiRiC Souled In

    Joined:
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    383
    well i thought i had 2 lines that were pretty good... HA

    make sure u give linkx good feedback, dont worry bout mine for this one
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  8. TaLi RodrigueZ

    TaLi RodrigueZ Washed Up Rapper...

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2002
    Messages:
    4,546
    Ok well, this was different lol...

    Vote - Oneiric

    Linkz, this was just too sloppy for me man. It has nothing to do with the fact that it's more street or anything like that. I'm all for butchering the English language if it serves a purpose, but there were just so many issues with this that it was hard to get by that.

    Problems of situations doesn't make sense and you're 'strapped' (insert comma or space) even my troup's hold heat. I'm not saying you have to be perfect with your grammar and shit, but you gotta at least take into account that the reader may not know exactly what it is that you're trying to say, since people are voting on this.

    What is imo? Is that like an emo? Imo is slang for in my opinion on the net. M.O. is Modus Operandi, which is what I'm sure you're referring to, but again, if the reader doesn't know that, they aren't going to know what in the hell you're talking about.

    Overall, I just didn't really get it. I understand what you're talking about and I get how you tired to pull in the topics, but this really didn't feel that like added anything to my way of thinking about things, which is generally what I like to get our of reading stuff.

    Oneiric, this wasn't the most spectacular showing in the world, but there is something about your subtlety that I like. You aren't really trying to out-rhyme anybody. You sort of write like I used to write when I first started, sort of train of thoughtish. Maybe that's why I like it. At some point, as your opponents get tougher, you'll have to put in a little more work.

    Linxz, I don't know man, this seemed either really rushed or just sort of thrown together, like you took a couple different verses and tried to make one piece out of it. I can't absolutely recall, but I think you're way better than this.
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  9. SacriFICE

    SacriFICE TRUspeak

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    5,955
    Vote: OneiRic

    Linxz, I can't really get myself to appreciate your piece like maybe you meant for the reader to. A lot of the lines didn't flow, to me, and a lot of it just wasn't great. A lot of strange grammar and difficult ideas to understand from what seems to be a very basic premise. On top of all that, there was really nothing original about this at all. Reading it I couldn't help but to find myself thinking this was just taken from some cookie-cutter rap album in Sam Goody.

    OneiRic: While this wasn't an incredible showing, I think your potential shines a bit... the rhyming wasn't spectacular but you still have a solid grasp on using words that maintain an effective appeal. A much more enjoyable read than Linxz's piece, mostly because it was an original account, and not something you hear everyday. This is a case where you did much more with much less, and that's what got you the win.

    G'luck fellas.

    Peace.
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  10. Got Life?

    Got Life? Resident Megalomaniac

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    13,681
    Linxz - this right here...this is like the epitome of why kids are running around on some hip hop is dead shit...it's because what you're writing is tired and whack...you spend to much time on the net to be packin son...and real talk...if you were really all about it...you wouldn't talk about it dummy...no respect to you on this...although it might sound decent over a g-unit beat or some shit. This was the epitome of what real lyricism and hip hop are not about. That shit was a disgrace to MLK as well...i can't believe I just read all that nonsense...

    OneiRic - i really don't share the sentiments of tali or sac on this...I don't see anything really shining through here...it seems entirely like train of thought poetry...not really holding down any of the concepts of really rhyming or stringing anything together...and at the end this wasn't even a complete string of random thoughts.

    I can't in good conscience vote for OneiRic because of that, so my vote goes to Linxz although son's verse was trash.
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  11. Linxz

    Linxz What!

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2006
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    3,957
    LMAO get over yall selves, I threw the shyt together mayne. I take the good wit the bad though. Good piece Oneiric, though I think you a alias, that just trying to put things in perspective, like things should be.

    I'll admit i spend time on the net, but sometimes i dont shut out of the browser, also I've been through a lot in my life, so I think I have reasons to spit, like i do. If problems come to you, what would you do. Rap is going to do what it do, now being hip-hop is different. Thatz more of a culture, and i agree with you got life, about it being bubble gum, its a good structure though, delete the verses. Its another hit, now do the math on that.
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  12. callacedkeys

    callacedkeys thinksome

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2007
    Messages:
    23
    vote lynxz

    one ur shit was simple plain and choppy and i refuse to go any further into it because i dont want to put more thought into ur verse than u did. lol

    lynxz you had and alright flow and u used some weak punches but atleast they were there, and better than one period
    very wak compo fellas not impresses
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  13. oNeiRiC

    oNeiRiC Souled In

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    got life could be right, or he could b wrong, who cares

    this is experession, for growth of character

    after a point of writing like you do, linx, you'll get bored, the growth will stop, and you'll start applying different aspects of writing into your verses simply for your own selfish development

    and that is the type of selfish development that cries meaning of life
    stay with it, just know it could be a thousand times better, just like anything else

    grammar? eh... no
    clarity?.............................. YES.
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  14. DiC GeTs GuLLy

    DiC GeTs GuLLy Hello

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