1000 Words

Discussion in 'Poetry Realm' started by utsukushikumegami, Jun 22, 2003.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. utsukushikumegami

    utsukushikumegami That's Ms. Goddess to you

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2002
    Messages:
    2,715
    Yet another poem I wrote listening to this beautiful Japanese song...the song's title is actually the same as the poem. I dunno about this one...it's not my usual style of morbidly depressing...oh well, tell me what you guys think.


    Sen no Kotoba (1000 Words)

    Like birds taking flight on the bright morning sky
    Your parting words float like feathers in my memory
    I can’t believe it ended like this
    How could I have been such a fool?
    You’re the only one for me in my life

    So what can I do now?
    1000 words couldn’t heal the pain I feel now
    Because I lost you to the wind that day
    You flew away on crippled wings
    Now there is only the dry dusty wind blowing in my eyes
    To dry my tears

    The day you fell from the heavens into my life
    It was no coincidence, we were fated to meet
    1000 prayers were answered the day we met
    Even now I still hear the sound of graceful flapping wings
    Caressing the sky in all their splendor

    I would call your name
    If it meant just once more
    I could see your beautiful aura
    It’s too late to say “I’m sorry”
    My words are blown away in a gust of sorrow
    I miss you so…

    I write you letters everyday
    But alas, they are destined to never reach your eyes
    Because I can’t mail you them
    I feel like such a fool
    1000 letters could never make things right again

    There are no more words left in these cold lips
    The wind whispers memories of our past
    The 1000 emotions left unsaid haunt me to this day
    Even my memories have begun to betray me
    I want to be held in your winged embrace just once more

    I pray these feelings will reach you someday
    Even if you never forgive me, I want you to know my real heart
    I love you, and even though you’ll never know just how much
    I pray when the first glimmer of night kisses the sky
    You’ll look up and see the 1000 stars I planted
    Painting our forgotten love across the vast watery sky…
    And there will be our signpost of love…my 1000 words of love for you…
    test
  2. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2001
    Messages:
    17,331
    This was some heartfelt shit, very emotional and honest. Nice imagery and all. Keep it coming

    one luv
    test
  3. utsukushikumegami

    utsukushikumegami That's Ms. Goddess to you

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2002
    Messages:
    2,715
    thanks for the compliment. For once it came out pretty close to teh way I wanted it to.
    test
  4. Mind~$oul

    Mind~$oul I'm Pretty

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2001
    Messages:
    17,331
    test
  5. MisterEThoughts

    MisterEThoughts MysteryOfUntoldTruth

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2003
    Messages:
    1,990
    very deep and beautiful
    never read ur work this first time
    and i see talent very nice keep it upp
    test
  6. D.B.

    D.B. Death

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2003
    Messages:
    153
    ^ like he said...nice piece...stay up
    test
  7. vinous

    vinous New Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2003
    Messages:
    405
    There are no more words left in these cold lips
    The wind whispers memories of our past
    The 1000 emotions left unsaid haunt me to this day
    Even my memories have begun to betray me

    those were my fav lines
    test
  8. *GeMiNeYeZ*

    *GeMiNeYeZ* ~§¤Sweet Shinobi¤§~

    Joined:
    May 19, 2001
    Messages:
    11,131
    yea... this does remind me of someone i know very well... and her first love...

    ::wipes tears::

    maybe she'll send this to him one day... but i dont think that will help him to understand...

    wonderful piece... as always.
    test
  9. utsukushikumegami

    utsukushikumegami That's Ms. Goddess to you

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2002
    Messages:
    2,715

    You never know...she might still have a glimmer of hope...
    test
  10. skandelous_lala

    skandelous_lala back from the dead

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2000
    Messages:
    26,748
    that was beautiful! the words you used were wonderful and i could feel it from the heart. awesome job!
    test
  11. tk2oo3

    tk2oo3 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2003
    Messages:
    2,082
    hmmm nice.. imagery is nice, could make it even stronger wit instead of just talkin about those memories by actually showing one of em.. nice emotion though..
    test
  12. *GeMiNeYeZ*

    *GeMiNeYeZ* ~§¤Sweet Shinobi¤§~

    Joined:
    May 19, 2001
    Messages:
    11,131
    ^^ she was writing about someone else... i believe... i dunno [dunno]
    test
  13. Kpucha

    Kpucha Guest

    Wow, this is gorgeously written....I love the sheer emotion!
    test
  14. $horty

    $horty New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2003
    Messages:
    13
    i thought this was awsome, keep it up
    test
  15. utsukushikumegami

    utsukushikumegami That's Ms. Goddess to you

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2002
    Messages:
    2,715
    thanks for all the compliments you guys...[smash]
    test
  16. ThisMiss

    ThisMiss Guest

    i really liked this peice.. it had beautiful imagery. its very sad =(
    test
  17. *GeMiNeYeZ*

    *GeMiNeYeZ* ~§¤Sweet Shinobi¤§~

    Joined:
    May 19, 2001
    Messages:
    11,131
    just like the actual situation it kinda relates to... :(
    test
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page

Users Viewing Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 0)