#1 Contendership: 3. Tha Talent 23-11 Vs 4. Patriarch 15-2

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Nebz, Sep 23, 2003.

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  1. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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  2. Gummo

    Gummo New Member

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    this has been seen..

    gluck talent, i like your pieces so this should be nice..

    pZ
    test
  3. Tha Talent

    Tha Talent , Tha Master.

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    test
  4. Gummo

    Gummo New Member

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  5. Gummo

    Gummo New Member

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    11. A conversation with God
    ---------------------------

    White = God speaking...
    Lightblue = My thoughts and me speaking...


    lights dimming slow as i under-go, a tranquil state
    the sounds turn mellow, and my cares start to sedate
    straight, on a mattress of satin.. body seems to be flattened
    pain is non-existent, no more disease attackin my masses
    my soul passes thru my glasses, into the new eyes of the warmth
    seeping up out of my corpse, into the great allmighty force...
    source of my maddness begins to vanish.. and then a face comes forth
    "just put your hurt aside son, cause it shall bother you no more"
    "...are you God?" ..i sounded un-sure, then he said
    "the God of you"
    "let me guide you thru your life, letting your new light shine right thru"
    "as a child we all are innocent, not knowin the world around us"
    "grabbing ahold of close ones souls, thus we trust all we encounter"
    "growing up is a tedious task, individually.. we try to succeed"
    "avoiding or being the breed that misleads with infinite greed"
    "feeding on pain of others, true evil, the kind thats not in books"
    "ones that hate another man, just because the way that his skin looks"
    "the ones that rape young children, by using candy as their hooks"
    "the ones that bomb the innocent, and the ones refferred as crooks"
    "not to mention the man that puts, his selfish needs before my book"

    "but i'm none of those things, so does this mean i goto heaven?"
    "of course my son, one of the few, but the gates is where your headed"
    "my kingdom is not what they said,-and in fact.. its what you make it"
    "the old life continues on, at any point that you wish to take it"
    "the power is ever so sacred, evil men cannot posses this after death"
    "their afterlife is a nightmarish loop, that of which will never end"
    "insanity forever, no devil with a fork.. no fires and no flames"
    "the devil is themselves, and the images that they've created"
    "hated for eternity, stuck, always reminded of why the ends like this"

    "its a shame after all ive heard.. that evil even still exists.."
    "take a second, reminisce.. then decide where on earth youd like to emerge"
    "ive decided already God.." "Ok my son.." " I choose my birth.."
    "Done.."




    Just my outlook on things.. g'luck talent..
    test
  6. Tha Talent

    Tha Talent , Tha Master.

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    Sally's Got a One Track Mind

    Sally's got a one track mind - stuck on food and sleep
    the tiniest composure, tough though crude and weak
    her little arms reaching, streaking, grimacing for it quicker
    the innocent sort of picture of limitless lore and glitter
    the spoon's an airplane - zooming to digestion destination
    and when the jar is done, the kicking turns to her stagnation
    ...
    Sally's got a one track mind - always chillin at Sesame Street
    laying on the floor near the TV, all i see is a head and two feet
    the little pony tail bouncing as her head bobs to the music
    legs bent up at the knee, kicking as she watches profusley
    locking so loosely, as Bert and Ernie squabble and fight
    she watches a kite, but doesn't play with the one she got from Aunt Bryce
    ...
    Sally's got a one track mind - friends, friends, and more friends
    Cabbage Patch, Barbie and double-dutch - a crescendo suspend
    fun, fun, and more fun - unceasing, living it large
    makeup kits and pillow fights, exploring rivers on "Mars"
    that were really creeks in the forest, but imagination was past creation
    an exploring young brain that kept with the faster pacing
    ...
    Sally's got a one track mind - she's Little Miss Boy-Crazy
    too riddled with coif straightening to fiddled with toys lately
    earings - blush - hair spray - and a crush on little man Erik Rush
    with his bright blue eyes and spiked hair that you dare not touch
    Miss Popularity - with a quick wit and bright future
    but she can't remove her eyes from the behind of her science tutor
    ...
    Sally's got a one track mind - her boyfriend - Johnson Towns
    for one year, three months, nine days they've walked on clouds
    holding hands, strolling down the halls, sidewalks, and beaches
    gazing deep into eachother's hazel eyes, its all so scenic
    the first love, more than a crush, she gave it all up for him
    and after she stood up straight, she'd end up falling for him again
    ...
    Sally's got a one track mind - and it's certainly over Johnson
    now in matters of love, Sally's tounge grows cold, despondant
    unconscious - a raver with a lust only for music
    partying was a side step in her life of holding to music
    her vagina now loose, fat, and swollen from music
    her eyes lit up, red and glassy - glowing from music
    her head bopping - in an otherwise emotionless poise
    she lived the life of the music - no more hoping and boys
    just coping through noise - noise through electrical chords
    she found people as idiots, and so her essense was bored
    - but the music - the music of mayhem, and all that comes with it
    though she never used the word, you could tell she's in love with it
    dumb witted - the pain relieved, released, anger management
    a blasting set of headphones clenching her ears with savage grip
    mastered it, remastered it, flipped the script, and blasted more
    a coke head complexion complete with a bastard's scorn
    ...
    Sally's got a one track mind - and its walking with her to a concert
    she walks back into the dressing room, the guys certain to mock her
    for tardiness, it was her first headline gig, after the album was dope
    and as the makeup artist powered her nose, Sally powered her nose
    to get the rush, the sensation, then she threw on the headphones
    pumped for the show, its time - she steps on stage and starts blasting
    and blasting, and blasting, and blasting, until then - that's it
    it stops - an electrical failure, perhaps a black out
    Sally begins to blackout too, no way to back out
    Gerber - Elmo - Barbie - Erik - Johnson - all bruising, left her blind
    but in the end, Sally's one track mind stopped with the music - and she died
    test
  7. TeKneeK

    TeKneeK The Heart and Soul of RM

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    test
  8. Den-S

    Den-S .:.The Chosen One.:.

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    wow this was a dope battle...I liked Patriarch's structure and how he devoloped the topic but I felt he could have gone deeper and added more detail to his verse...he kinda short-circuited it...

    Talent's verse was hot...he developed the topic thoroughly and went into great detail about his plot...imagery was nice, and while the content was simplistic, he developed it real well...nice battle....

    vote= Tha Talent

    g'luck
    test
  9. WiSDoM

    WiSDoM I t0k yer wifes virginity

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    Patriarch: im replying as im reading into the quick reply..so as of n0w..this part was a great way to introduce bringing god into the picture..

    my soul passes thru my glasses, into the new eyes of the warmth
    seeping up out of my corpse, into the great allmighty force...
    source of my maddness begins to vanish.. and then a face comes forth

    i really liked that part..dope start off..

    "growing up is a tedious task, individually.. we try to succeed"
    "avoiding or being the breed that misleads with infinite greed"
    "feeding on pain of others, true evil, the kind thats not in books"
    "ones that hate another man, just because the way that his skin looks"

    nice content right there...feeling that a lot..

    "but i'm none of those things, so does this mean i goto heaven?"
    "of course my son, one of the few, but the gates is where your headed"
    "my kingdom is not what they said,-and in fact.. its what you make it"
    "the old life continues on, at any point that you wish to take it"

    very solid flow righ tthere..content was nice as hell...overall this was definalty a fire verse...imma read the talents now..


    Talent: holy fuck man...i cant even quote one part of that story...that was on some raw ass story telling..that verse was flawless in my eyes..i wish it didn't end lol..i was hooked onto reading every line of that..wow man..very very dope story..content was perfect..flow, multis..everything was on point..this verse was off the chain..

    vote = talent
    test
  10. Gummo

    Gummo New Member

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    test
  11. SIN2

    SIN2 as we speak

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    damn....thas all tha votes...

    ayo this shit is crazy...

    Patriarch...this verse was fire....i did tha same topic so i felt where u was comin from...alot of heart felt shit....i just couldnt reallyt get into it

    Talent...verse was simply amazin all kinds of quoteables in this joint....kept me readin....i read this twice for me..lol...but u set tha shit off real deal....

    vote-The Talent
    test
  12. Papa_Smurf

    Papa_Smurf Junior Jedi

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    This was a good battle, alot of good ish from both, I was feeling Tha Talents Verse more though.

    Vote: Talent
    test
  13. Nebz

    Nebz R.I.P. Point Game

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    Talent Wins
    test
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