#05 Awedishin vs #12 Tekneek

Discussion in 'The Rapmusic Storytelling/Topical League' started by Vern Acular, Mar 23, 2004.

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  1. Vern Acular

    Vern Acular 12x RSTL Champ

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    [​IMG]

    RSTL
    CHAMPION TOURNEY




    VERSES DUE Friday 11:59pm EST / 8:59pm PACIFIC
    VOTES DUE Sunday 12pm EST / 9am PACIFIC


    COLLECT YOUR TOPIC OF CHOICE HERE:

    http://board.rapmusic.com/showthread.php?t=722881


    LINE LIMIT:

    16 lines - MINIMAL
    60 lines - MAXIMAL


    VOTING:
    No payback votes
    No 2nd Chance Votes


    YOU MUST MUST MUST
    POST YOUR URL'S OF ALL THE BATTLES YOU VOTED ON HERE IN YOUR OWN THREAD..

    VOTE ON 4 BATTLES!!!!!

    FAILURE TO DO SO RESULTS IN 1 VOTE SUBTRACTION PER MISSING LINK!!!


    if you win by no-show u are encouraged to vote still in other matches!!!!!



    GO GET EM CHAMP!!!​
    test
  2. Dikembe Mutombo

    Dikembe Mutombo New Member

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    Word, in all seriousness good luck Tek

    *bow*
    test
  3. TeKneeK

    TeKneeK The Heart and Soul of RM

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    You 2... *nods*
    test
  4. Noib Da Mutt

    Noib Da Mutt New Member

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    good luck, Tek...
    test
  5. Insanevillian

    Insanevillian STILL in CHARGE

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    TeK go here...
    test
  6. Dikembe Mutombo

    Dikembe Mutombo New Member

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    whatever...

    Poppin my collar, I've spent every last dollar~
    Shit's set and fresh to death -*ring*- dammit who's callin~
    female voice on the other end - screamin and ballin~
    over top of her cries I'm yellin "lady who are ya?"~
    Line went silent for a second all except for the sobbin~
    bitch was so worked up I swear I heard her heart throbbin...

    a Light cough then...

    she spoke and stumbled over bitter mumbles of mixed emotions~
    light rumble from her lips, both twitched and convulsing~
    stuttered "you son of a bitch, I told you to use protection"~
    I never fucked with this broad, not to my recollection~
    "I'm sorry ma'am I don't recall that we've ever met~
    I got a date to attend so I really gotta jet~
    But good luck in your search for your lost baby daddy~
    Oh by the way I'm a virgin so it's impossible you had me~
    "wait you motherfucker don't pull that shit with me~
    With your track history I've probably got the H.I.V.~
    For once can't you own up for your own selfish acts~
    It's your own Goddamn fault this dirty bitch just got hacked~
    into pieces, but she was speechless guess the cat had her tongue~
    Well probably not, since it was her mouth that I took it from~
    You been cheatin? and for how long? Motherfucker I'll kill you~
    Her blood is leakin from my fingers - yours about to get spilled too"~

    oh my God...

    "The fuck you talkin bout? where you callin me from?~
    Already told ya I don't know ya whatcha threatenin fa?"~

    *click* (dialtone)

    holy fuck man I'm trippin - the fuck was that crazy shit~
    Wiped the sweat off my brow, grabbed my shit and then dipped~
    I gotta crazy feelin about Janet - I gotta get there quick~
    Something tells me this shit's hittin on a personal tip~
    From 2 blocks away I saw a million watts of red and blue~
    Couldn't get any closer - roadblock's not lettin through~
    Pulled the car in a yard and made a mad dash for the house~
    3 or 4 cops tryna to stop me but I was too quick to take out~
    Made it just in time to see the body bag being zipped up tight~
    Then it all hit me - that crazy bitch and her fucked up plight~
    Dropped to my knees on the grass as tears fell down my face~
    Looked straight up into space and that's where I prayed~
    "oh God what the fuck...why me? why my love?~
    This was the one - I just knew it - she fit me like a glove~
    I can't take it - I can't live knowing my baby's forever gone~
    I'll strike my own damn self down right here on her lawn~"
    I pulled my hunting knife from my sock and stabbed myself in the heart~
    Born from love - Die for love - right back to the start~
    My soul arose from my carcass and hung it's head in shame~
    Spoke to myself "now don't you know suicide's not in the game?"~
    You stupid fuck it was all an act - a made for TV movie~
    Now you're gonna be a part of ANOTHER made for tv movie~
    The extra who didn't know he had a part to fulfill~
    His own knife through his heart - the only part that was real~

    damn kids



    oh, topics :

    4. this is your first date, over-excited you do everything you can think of to
    impress her, flowers...dinner reservations...breath mints...whatever it takes,
    as you get in the car your cell phone rings, it's her number, you pick it up
    anxiously but the person on the other line isn't her, expand...

    and

    2. the phone rings, & on the other end is a women who is about to tell you she
    is pregnant with your child, only you've never slept with her, SHIT!, you dont
    even know who she is, expand...
    test
  7. TeKneeK

    TeKneeK The Heart and Soul of RM

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    1. You lost your memory and you wakeup in a small room on the floor, there’s an abundance of candles burning, you can practically taste the wax and sulfur, you stand up to look out the window to only become afraid cause there staring back at you is total darkness, expand..

    I sat awoke with fatigue inflict the worst inserted in me
    My train of thought dispersed to invert me evidently
    The stench of the smoke that consumed in my nostrils
    It occupied me visions of my corpse rot in fossils
    Aside from what just happened, there’s nothing more to think back
    A blotch of sasporella marked the rug---but did I drink that?
    A strain within my abdomen was clutchin’ my gut
    Barely budgin’ in movement as I rose to get up
    The subconscious took upon me with a fear on my gaze
    Out the window of this place instilled no visual face
    But a stench of what was heard in a monotonous tone
    I yelled approachin to the pane, my drone echoed alone
    And when the moans became the tremors palpitatin’ my heart
    Sweat enveloped on my jawline… my lips flew apart
    In the dark.. I saw fear appear a hideous face
    I cringed to look away.. flinched and then without a trace

    It was silence for a moment… my eyes opened at pace
    Saw myself awoke fatigued once again in a daze
    And from my fear did I discover at the very same place
    I was lain on the floor perplexed and left in a waste
    To find my train of thought consumed as if methamphetamines
    Was overwhelmed to define to know the dream and what it means
    With an ache that had me duck down clutchin my stomach
    I rose to find the sasporella marked up and smothered
    Against the rug to find nostalgia in its sinister form
    My lungs panted with vital signs alerted and warm
    To my overwhelming phase of a fear that came within me
    The view outside the window flowed a sense that went within me
    I shivered in thoughts to know what fear would reveal
    From this hallucigenic vision that I swore it was real
    But my heart could not contain from the anxiety felt
    I stood frantic… the wax from all the candles had melt
    Suddenly a steady whisper from the wind in the dark
    Shivered in from the pane and panted death in my heart
    And when the breeze consumed the flames that made the room inside light
    I was drowned to find me standin in the darkest of nights
    To find sight has left my optics …

    And I screamed to just find…


    My painted portrait of the world left…


    And I became blind.
    test
  8. Dikembe Mutombo

    Dikembe Mutombo New Member

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    nice verse tek....

    lets get some votes
    test
  9. LDogg The King

    LDogg The King The High Life

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    Over the No Shows
    test
  10. Dikembe Mutombo

    Dikembe Mutombo New Member

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    test
  11. TeKneeK

    TeKneeK The Heart and Soul of RM

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    this is wack.... nobody voting.
    test
  12. Peril-Eyes

    Peril-Eyes LP1 Lunch Pines Throwback

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    i would vote but tek would call its biased.
    test
  13. Flow Da HoloGraff

    Flow Da HoloGraff Fuck Up!

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    i believe the winner of this battle goes on to face the winner or my battle ... so my vote can be nixed if yall like ... however ... i'm gonna have to go with tek on this one ... even though his old ass shoulda been outta the game long ago like too short ... and if i saw him on the street i'd be more likely to ask him where i can find fried duck than a fresh new rhyme ... that doesnt take away from the fact that the old bitch can write ... his flow and diction were on point as always and he told a good story ... and i liked mac''s story ... flow was great as well ... but it just kind of seemed outrageous ... iono .... anyways ... blah blah blah tek is old
    test
  14. MC ENFERNO

    MC ENFERNO I love Mary jane

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    Well it looks like this tourney is not going all that good with all the no showing hey but at least you guys showed.

    Atheist: I did not like your verse that much. It just felt like jibberish to me. I dont think I could feel your writers voice. It's hard to put two topics together and make it work.

    Tekneek: Good verse but not your best. But it was good enough to get my vote. Your flow was on point and you had great vocabulary like you always do.\

    Vote: Tek
    test
  15. Dikembe Mutombo

    Dikembe Mutombo New Member

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    atheist? the fuck you talkin about kid?
    test
  16. Desenut§

    Desenut§ Lean mean nuttin machine!

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    awe... nice concept.. but a little rushed to conclusion.. not enough build up to it being a reality show.. that just seemed to jump in and blindside the reader.. and the pace of the story itself seemed extremely rushed.. but I really really did Dig the concepts blending of the two topics..

    Tek - Great detail.. if a bit repetative and aloof in spots.. (too much description that does not set the tone of the piece.. or aid in it's advancement... becomes so much filler).. and the concept was done allready a few weeks or months ago.. (of the darkness being blindness setting in).. but all in all.. it was a much better written piece.. with more cohesiveness... and that's what gets you the win in my eyes..

    vote-Tek

    *take my critique for what it's worth.. I know my verse was FAR more flawed than either one of ya'lls this week.. *LOL**
    test
  17. TeKneeK

    TeKneeK The Heart and Soul of RM

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    nice... but gosh the voting is horrid.....
    test
  18. TeKneeK

    TeKneeK The Heart and Soul of RM

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    oh wait.. this voting ended this morning.. my bad i thought it was at night...


    good match AWE --- seemingly u didnt show ur best... but i told u i beat u....


    even tho i didnt come my best either.
    test
  19. Dikembe Mutombo

    Dikembe Mutombo New Member

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    at this point I could care less

    I guess showing up doesnt mean anything so I shoulda no showed...thats what all the other pussies in this tourney did
    test
  20. LDogg The King

    LDogg The King The High Life

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    Tekneek - Advances to Round 2
    test
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